Tuesday Tips
It was all in all a pretty good weekend. My folks are down again for more doctor visits. A pre-op consult today, and surgery on Thursday. Hopefully this one will finally do the trick. This has been going on way too long.
My brother and his family came up on Sunday evening to see Mom and Dad, and I made Mexican food. Tacos, chicken fajitas, enchiladas. Mmmm. Their little boy J was entertaining as usual. He was a little disappointed that my sister's boy D wasn't there, so I got play with him. He came over to me, took my hand, "I show you", and we headed to the basement doorway. So down we went. My sister is using my basement for "storage", so there are quite a few toys down there. He's so much fun. Such a little ham.
We had a nice visit, watched the finale of Dancing with the Stars. I was glad that Drew won. It was between either he or Stacy. She should have been second (if not first, though her dances were a little boring at the end, due to an injury I guess). Jerry Rice had no place in the final three. There's no way he should have remained while Lisa was kicked off. I think the experts in the field should judge. Not a bunch of people who don't know anything calling in, making it out to be a big joke, a popularity contest. Oh well. What can you do?
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DISCLAIMER: The following are for HUMOR only! :)
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are:
"I apologize," and "You are right."
Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
My brother and his family came up on Sunday evening to see Mom and Dad, and I made Mexican food. Tacos, chicken fajitas, enchiladas. Mmmm. Their little boy J was entertaining as usual. He was a little disappointed that my sister's boy D wasn't there, so I got play with him. He came over to me, took my hand, "I show you", and we headed to the basement doorway. So down we went. My sister is using my basement for "storage", so there are quite a few toys down there. He's so much fun. Such a little ham.
We had a nice visit, watched the finale of Dancing with the Stars. I was glad that Drew won. It was between either he or Stacy. She should have been second (if not first, though her dances were a little boring at the end, due to an injury I guess). Jerry Rice had no place in the final three. There's no way he should have remained while Lisa was kicked off. I think the experts in the field should judge. Not a bunch of people who don't know anything calling in, making it out to be a big joke, a popularity contest. Oh well. What can you do?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: The following are for HUMOR only! :)
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
The five (5) most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are:
"I apologize," and "You are right."
Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.