fears
a piece of advice by my one of my favorite writers christopher hitchens in an interview has helped me quiet (but not completely) my fears of graduating school and being an illustrator. although the following quote is about writing, i feel like the mind-set of a writer/artist and the approach to his/her respective crafts are almost identical.
"you should first ask yourself if you really have to write. in other words, not is it something you like to do or have heard could be rewarding or enjoyable [...] has it ever occurred to you that you have no choice but to write [...] if that's true, then it's fine. you will work, you will get it done. and you may not be a howling success at it but at least you will know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and that's a pleasure lots of people don't have. and conversely if you don't feel that, you might want to try something else. because i'll doubt you'll be able to survive the disappointments that are notable."
he said that whenever he asks that question to a room full of students, there's always one person who looks up with a "how did you know that?" face. i'm pretty sure i had the same face when i listened to him say that for the first time because i replaced "write" with "do art". i've known for a while, deep down in my heart, that i can't do anything but art because i have no inkling of a real aptitude for anything else. i just didn't know how comforting that conviction is. no matter how bad it gets, i won't quit doing art. i can't quit. and that leads me to think... how can i not succeed with that kind of perseverance?
i read that quote over and over to myself when i slip into moments of blubbering fear. i ask, "must i? must i do this?" so far the answer has always been "yes".
"you should first ask yourself if you really have to write. in other words, not is it something you like to do or have heard could be rewarding or enjoyable [...] has it ever occurred to you that you have no choice but to write [...] if that's true, then it's fine. you will work, you will get it done. and you may not be a howling success at it but at least you will know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and that's a pleasure lots of people don't have. and conversely if you don't feel that, you might want to try something else. because i'll doubt you'll be able to survive the disappointments that are notable."
he said that whenever he asks that question to a room full of students, there's always one person who looks up with a "how did you know that?" face. i'm pretty sure i had the same face when i listened to him say that for the first time because i replaced "write" with "do art". i've known for a while, deep down in my heart, that i can't do anything but art because i have no inkling of a real aptitude for anything else. i just didn't know how comforting that conviction is. no matter how bad it gets, i won't quit doing art. i can't quit. and that leads me to think... how can i not succeed with that kind of perseverance?
i read that quote over and over to myself when i slip into moments of blubbering fear. i ask, "must i? must i do this?" so far the answer has always been "yes".