Till we crack the code we have always known, but could never understand.

Nov 28, 2005 03:31

I have a friend that has to make one hell of a choice soon... the problem is no matter what advice I can give them, it wont matter, because I can't truly tell them everything I feel. It would be selfish and a horrible act as a person...

I want something to happen so bad it should be illegal. You ever want that? Something to happen that you know would change your life for the greater good, but would cause chaos and problems in someone else's life. I am not saying that someone will die or anything... I am just wondering when something is being selfish, and when to do something for yourself. The line is so thin. This sucks pretty bad...

I feel like my days are going to waste. I am not doing anything to move my life ahead or even planning anything to get myself out of this hole. I am trying to get a job with my dad, I guess that would change things a bit. Working full time during the week but having the weekend off. The hours could be ok and the pay is great. Is getting a full time job and working for the rest of your life really going somewhere though? I am pretty sure going back to school is not the thing for me. I find myself thinking about the idea and I just feel horrible. I just feel that going to school and getting a better paying job and knowing some shit out a book isn't really going to help me. If that would help me, then High School might have had a reason. Sure, I might grow as a person a bit, meet new people and maybe start a new kind of life... however, I don't think that should cost me as much as it does to go to school... I dont have to go to some bullshit class to learn how to live life to the fullest. I can learn that myself, even if it means to everyone else I am wasting my life...
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