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[taku_loenhart]

ya know what? FUCK YOU! and FUCK YOU TOO....just about all of you...FUCK YOU...i guess the only truly happy people in life are the fucking whores...because nice guys ALWAYS FUCKING FINISH LAST...all the fucking time...its always the lesbians (no offense to those who are) and the grungy punks who are happiest in life....and ya know what FUCK YOU! I'

Comments

[slowlygoingsane]

Aaron, I DIDN'T mean the shit I said to you, that's NOT how I really felt, I've ALWAYS been straight foward with you when I'm thinking straight. I said those things on impulse because I was pissed, I HONESTLY didn't mean them. You don't know how fucking bad I feel for saying the shit I didn't mean.

Fine you don't wanna work shit out with me to were we can still be friends, fine, but you fucking know what. I feel sorry for you. I'll move on. I'll find someone else. I'll be all right, because I will know that I tried. That I did everything I could. But someday you will look back, and you will realize what you threw away. And you will regret it always. You'll always think "what if?" Yeah, I've tried my damnest to work shit out with you because I really want to. You're an awesome guy and I'd kill to have you as a friend. You seem think think I'm playing games with you on this, but I'm not.

Aaron, I've been pretty fucking confused lately and doing EVERYTHING possible to stay FUCKED UP (like on any drug I can find), so I don't word shit right. I told you this on AIM when I worded things wrong, I'm not being two-faced, but just fucked up how I say things.

Ya wanna know how I feel I FUCKING LOVE YOU but you don't love me, which is ok. I'm over that now. I just want to work stuff out so we can still be friends and hang out without it being awkard.

I fucked everything up a drama and one day when I get over this happiess shit I'll realize what a complete ass I was to you. It'll probably hit me the hardest when I see you with someone else, but I WANT you to find someone for you, a guy like you will find some really awesome chick to make you happy. When I see it everything hit me and then when I see you smile everything will be ok because I'll know you're happy

[slowlygoingsane]

And one of the reasons I wanted to TALK to you was so you could fucking take out all your repressed anger that you have towards me OUT ON ME. You shouldn't do it to everyone else, but me.

Another was because I want you to say all this stuff to me, face to face, so I can defend myself and not have to write it on LiveJournal. I don't care that I have to, but saying things face to face is much simplier.

o.o

[taku_loenhart]

take out my repressed anger on you?...I don't hit chicks...and I have no reason...and i'm not taking it out on everyone else thank you very much...the fact that I write it in my journal concerns only me and those who care to read and comment...or those who wish to talk to me...I never said that I wasn't going to talk to you face to face...I fully plan on it....oh and what is this that I heard you telling Dianna that all of our problems were my fault? is that more things to hurt me? or do you really believe that and not want to tell me? because I don't what really to believe coming from you, because I get 3 different stories that come from other people that they say you talk to them about....it really confuses and fustrates me that you wouldn't talk to me about whats going on for the last month that we dated but now that things are over all you want to do is talk....0.o

[taku_loenhart]

you probably didn't mean to SAY it but I firmly believe that no one can say something without any meaning whatsoever...and yeah you said it to hurt me and guess what...it did...I already realize what I threw away, and I know that i'll never get it back, but I chose to loose that vital part of my life, and i'm glad you'll be ok

I don't love you? BULL SHIT...I don't love your mother and that's who you were for a month...do you know how hard it has been for me to even look at you since you became you again? no I think not

but i'm ok now...I have people that I am talking to to help me get over this shit...it'll all work out...and you will be happy...so it's all good...im just tire of hearing all this shit from people telling me that they just talked to you and you said that it was all my problems...well yeah I guess it was, I HATE YOUR MOTHER...and you were being her and trying to make me your Jerry....oh...what's this I heard that one of the reasons you are happy it's over is so that you won't have to worry about me cheating on you with brigit, since I was ALWAYS with her? I don't really think you said this...and I hoooope to fucking god that you didn't because I DON'T CHEAT....but I need to know....anyways...I need to go to bed

[slowlygoingsane]

I'm NOT happy it's over, I HATE it in every way shape and form.

It's good you are ok now and that you have people talking to you, and I'm really sorry that I wasn't communicating during that last month, and I guess I figure by doing it now will somewhat fix the damage I have done.

I realized I was acting like her, but I don't anymore, and you know this. I do know how hard it is to look at me considering I have to look at you and see that I royally fucked up and ended the only thing that truly made me happy, so I DO understand.

I still find it hard to talk to you face to face because I'm always at a loss for words, it's so different now that we aren't dating, it's so weird that I can't do the things that I was so accustomed to, but it's ok, it really is. I just want to get to the point where nothing is awkward and we can hang out and be friends. Well that and for you to be happy, that's more important (or so I think).