Time Bomb
You are (were) like my freaking ray of sunshine
whether I wanted you to be or not
you were there
they say showing up is half the battle
if you ask me, showing up is at least 80% of the battle
which you continued to do
time after time after time
(thank you)
but were we like a time bomb?
just waiting to explode
either good or bad?
my soul is dark and troubled
though I've been trying to fix it
that's where my roots are
you couldn't be the farthest thing from that
you were born from the sun
light, radiant energy
I am so afraid I will forget all the good you enstilled in me
and that my darkness will take over
i never meant to hurt you
and i never meant to negatively affect you
that's why I kept warning you that I had issues
that I was broken
yes i want you here and around
but I am so afraid sometimes, that I am going to lose you
did i push you away?
it hurts less if i make you leave
rather than you choosing that i'm just not good enough
i can see the obvious times and tell myself that i need to calm down
but this is a part of my being
down to the core
because even I didn't see the few times I did, until now
i hate getting comfortable
it's scary as fuck
because we give that person so much power over us
and then of course it hurts the most when they break us
when we push them away and they actually go
I am so confused as to what is happening
did i sabotage myself?
were these walls for my own good or yours?
maybe just the good all around
you say this changed you
you're not sure how
but that you don't think you'll let yourself love me like that again
i hope that to be incorrect
i hope that doesn't turn into the regret i told you I was afraid you'd feel after being in a 'ship' with me
hind sight is always 20/20
it's a painfully sad thing to know i'm right before it happens
as much as your stubborn self doesn't want to admit
let's just say it
i was right
i usually always am
93-97% of the time
(that's my gift)
you know we have a connection
hopefully it can weather thru this bumpy, rocky storm
i don't know what the future holds
but I know it looks a lot brighter with you in it
whether I wanted you to be or not
you were there
they say showing up is half the battle
if you ask me, showing up is at least 80% of the battle
which you continued to do
time after time after time
(thank you)
but were we like a time bomb?
just waiting to explode
either good or bad?
my soul is dark and troubled
though I've been trying to fix it
that's where my roots are
you couldn't be the farthest thing from that
you were born from the sun
light, radiant energy
I am so afraid I will forget all the good you enstilled in me
and that my darkness will take over
i never meant to hurt you
and i never meant to negatively affect you
that's why I kept warning you that I had issues
that I was broken
yes i want you here and around
but I am so afraid sometimes, that I am going to lose you
did i push you away?
it hurts less if i make you leave
rather than you choosing that i'm just not good enough
i can see the obvious times and tell myself that i need to calm down
but this is a part of my being
down to the core
because even I didn't see the few times I did, until now
i hate getting comfortable
it's scary as fuck
because we give that person so much power over us
and then of course it hurts the most when they break us
when we push them away and they actually go
I am so confused as to what is happening
did i sabotage myself?
were these walls for my own good or yours?
maybe just the good all around
you say this changed you
you're not sure how
but that you don't think you'll let yourself love me like that again
i hope that to be incorrect
i hope that doesn't turn into the regret i told you I was afraid you'd feel after being in a 'ship' with me
hind sight is always 20/20
it's a painfully sad thing to know i'm right before it happens
as much as your stubborn self doesn't want to admit
let's just say it
i was right
i usually always am
93-97% of the time
(that's my gift)
you know we have a connection
hopefully it can weather thru this bumpy, rocky storm
i don't know what the future holds
but I know it looks a lot brighter with you in it