the lesser of 2 evils; but I'm no monster
I want to cut
I want to scratch
I want to anything
Because i want to feel again
Not that i don't feel
But not like i used to
I want to show the world my I'm sorry
Show them my sadness and disappointment
Show them to leave me alone
And show them how badly i want it
But how am i supposed to show these things
When "I'm not allowed to"
When that isn't on the road to getting healthy
When it'd be counter productive
Living well is the best revenge after all
And that really is what i want
Being happy or revenge
Its really a toss up between the two
I want them both
Really i think the people who just don't care and give a fuck are the best off
Because they'll never know this hurt and disappointment
But idt that will ever be me
It'd be nice to be healthy enough that it didn't matter to me anymore
But then what would that say of me
I'm sick of being patient
I want results or some kind of encouragement now
I need it
So i can make it through
[i miss you
And I hope you care
Or at least cared at some point
I just... I hate the way things are now between us]
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