Racoon
Ive been thinking more and more of venturing myself back to Traverse City at the end of August. I hate working minimum wage, dead-end jobs. I want my career in graphic design or some sort of artistic outlet. Moving back to Traverse I would enlist in a 2 year certification program for graphic design, then transfer to a much more interesting school. And then I finally obtain my bachelors degree. Hopefully after that its a less stressful job.
So if I do go back north I only have to pay for my gas, school, and fun stuff. Rent food, insurance, all that sucky stuff would get paid for. I just dont know. I love my friends too much, and this town holds some of my better memories.
My time in traverse city was a creative one though I think. I felt no stress. And had no one to try and keep in contact with. I just could sit alone inside of a coffee shop drinking coffee and drawing. Drive around and soak in the vast nothing. But that nothing felt like something fulfilling. Like I could just sleep without staying awake ever worrying. No falling in our out of love, no sadness besides loneliness at points which usually turned into creative days. I felt so cut off that it began to feel good, only visiting kalamazoo every other month was like a reward.
I dont know what to do besides dream of how life could be, how sunny and warm my bones could feel.
Instead its just grey skies, and feelings of dark obscure impending emotional pain.
So if I do go back north I only have to pay for my gas, school, and fun stuff. Rent food, insurance, all that sucky stuff would get paid for. I just dont know. I love my friends too much, and this town holds some of my better memories.
My time in traverse city was a creative one though I think. I felt no stress. And had no one to try and keep in contact with. I just could sit alone inside of a coffee shop drinking coffee and drawing. Drive around and soak in the vast nothing. But that nothing felt like something fulfilling. Like I could just sleep without staying awake ever worrying. No falling in our out of love, no sadness besides loneliness at points which usually turned into creative days. I felt so cut off that it began to feel good, only visiting kalamazoo every other month was like a reward.
I dont know what to do besides dream of how life could be, how sunny and warm my bones could feel.
Instead its just grey skies, and feelings of dark obscure impending emotional pain.