Birthday Fic for me by purpledodah
purpledodah wrote this lovely Spander fic for me. Taking two of my origional poems 'On Love' and ' Vindication'. Both can be found in my Memoires under the heading of 'The Many Faces of Love'. It was a supprise and what a fantastic gift. Thank you Purp! I means a great deal to me. Have always wished I could write Fan Fic, but my skills (small as they are) are in poetry. This makes me feel like I was a part of writing this lovely piece.
TITLE: TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM
AUTHOR: PURPLEDODAH
FANDOM: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
PAIRING: SPIKE/XANDER
RATING: NC17
Authors Notes: Happy Birthday Tak. I’ve shamelessly stolen off you for this. Love ya. *hugs* Links to original poem provided in fiction.
TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM:
Xander sat on his couch and stared at the holdall on the floor. It was Spike’s.
As usual they had argued, as usual Xander had insisted Spike leave. Why he had to be the one to put up with the narky vamp all the time he didn’t understand. Xander considered himself tolerant and understanding. He put up with weetabix in blood, wet towels on the bathroom floor, sexy wet vampires walking around naked if Dawn was out. He didn’t mind most things Spike did. Yet finding him kissing a guy outside the bar had just been too much.
Xander had shouted and screamed. Why hadn’t Spike told him he was gay? Did Spike think he was so shallow he wouldn’t have understood?
Spike had replied he was a demon, gender made no odds. Xander tried to get his head around that and was doing quite well, until Spike had calmly told him he thought the problem was that Xander was just jealous that Spike was getting some and Xander hadn’t kissed anyone for years.
That was the straw that broke the camels back. Xander saw red. How could Spike say that? Didn’t the skinny blond dead guy realize no one wanted a one eyed carpenter? An ugly guy that came with a dead house mate?
A few choice words later and Spike had packed a bag. Spike had made a few calls and had just gone to say goodbye to Dawn, she was staying over at a friend’s house. Angel was coming to pick Spike up in a few hours. So Xander sat and looked at the bag.
The bag was unzipped. Spike’s worldly goods crammed inside. The vampire didn’t own much. Apart from his leather duster and his boots the one constant item was Spike’s black leather bound book. The book he wrote in when he thought Xander wasn’t looking, using an old silver fountain pen that was engraved ‘William’. The book he hid under the couch cushions whenever Xander came home unexpected. That book was now lying on top of the bag. The last time Xander had had a proper look at it had been the day Angel had given it to Spike.
The two vampires had been getting on, in an odd sort of way. Angel had turned up one evening to see Spike. Spike had been surprised Angel had remembered the date. Angel had said he would never forget it. Neither vampire would explain what the special occasion was. Angel had given Spike the book, pulled the smaller vampire into an awkward hug kissing the top of his head, then left abruptly.
Spike had shown Xander it was just a journal, leather bound, no inscription. Xander had wondered why it would please Spike so much to get a big fat empty book, not even a picture in it. It did have ‘William’ carved into the leather in red, but that was all. Vampires were odd things.
Curiosity got the better of Xander, he had the chance to see what Spike used the book for. Probably his last chance. Another few hours and Spike would be gone with Angel.
Xander sucked in a deep breath and reached over and picked the book up. His hands trembled as he ran his fingers over the leather cover. He traced the red letters with a fingertip. He pondered for a second if this was invading Spike’s privacy but hell the vamp had no qualms about invading Xander’s, nothing was sacred or secret with Spike in the house.
Xander opened the book. He smiled despite his annoyance with Spike. The pages were full of Spike’s flowing script, all done with his fountain pen. Xander loved Spike’s writing, even a shopping list looked more exciting when Spike wrote it. There were no mistakes or words scribbled out. Every word was precise and neat. The book was a work of art, a thing of beauty.
Xander read a few pages and then flipped ahead. Poems. Each page had a poem hand written by Spike. As he read Xander realised Spike hadn’t copied these poems, he had written them. Sure he had known Spike was intelligent, he helped Dawn with her homework but he had no idea he could write poetry. It was like seeing another aspect of Spike. Spike knew film scripts and read tons of books and he always knew the answers on the TV quiz shows.
Xander became absorbed in the book. Reading poem after poem. The later ones seemed to all be sad, about a lover not seeing him. Xander huffed, Spike mustn’t be over Buffy at all. Yet as he read he realised something, the poems were not about a long dead girl, they were about a human man. Xander wasn’t stupid. He knew a line like ‘I listen to your breathing as you sleep’ was about him. He often woke to find Spike sat on the edge of his bed. Xander had nightmares, bad ones. Spike always woke him from them then went back to his own bed when Xander had settled back to sleep.
The last poem in the book brought tears to Xander’s eye. He read it despite the blurred vision.
ON LOVE:
Be not afraid to love
for in loving there is no sin -
only in avoiding love -
Sin against one's self.
For love, even if it's not returned,
brings only blessings on the giver;
and love springing from a full heart
and received with welcome arms
can light the world's dark hours.
If love is sometimes painful it’s also merciful,
for if we know pain we have also known joy,
and the measure of our joy is in our pain.
And in the days that follow, with memories
of our love retuning, only the joy will be
remembered
Xander was petrified to love again, felt unworthy. He’d explained it all to Spike a few weeks ago when he was drunk. He remembered Spike telling him he had to let go of the past, open his heart to love again. Xander read more poems, a theme becoming obvious.
Spike was lonely? Waiting for love because the one he loved was oblivious? That’s where all the poems pointed. One eye was wasted on him, he’d been blind. A blind stupid fool.
Xander never noticed Spike walk in, he was to busy hugging Spike’s book. Spike growled and snatched the book from Xander’s arms.
“That’s mine, s’private. Ya’ve no right touching it.” Spike held the book he’d poured his heart and soul into tightly against his chest.
Xander winced. “Spike… I…. shit. I’m sorry ok? I was just curious. I didn’t read it all. Hell I didn’t understand the big words.”
Spike trembled. The whelp was lying. His jaw twitched, he wanted to rage and smash things. He wanted to do nothing at the same time. Scaring and fighting with Xander would get him nowhere. He couldn’t do this any more. He breathed in deeply in an effort to calm himself. He’d be the grown up and walk away before he did something stupid, again.
Xander watched open mouthed as Spike picked up his bag and walked towards the door. “Spike?”
“Bye Pet. I’ll wait outside for Peaches. Keep an eye on the Bit for me yeah?” Spike rummaged in a pocket as he opened the door and fished out a set of keys. “Keys.” Spike dropped the keys into the dish on the hall table and walked out, closing the door silently.
Xander couldn’t believe there had been no shouting, nothing. He stared at the door Spike had walked through. There was something on the floor. A scrap of folded paper had fallen out of Spike’s pocket. Xander walked over and picked it up along with the keys. The keys were still on the key ring Xander had given Spike. The Count from Sesame Street dangled happily flashing his fangs. Xander put the keys in his jeans pocket and unfolded the piece of paper. It was another poem. He didn’t read it, just folded it back up and opened the door.
Xander found Spike sitting on the kerb, smoking a cigarette. He sat down next to him.
Spike raised a brow and looked at Xander. “What now? Owe ya rent or something?” Spike was pretty certain he’d been paying his way for once. Of course if Xander decided he was going to add up all the times when Spike hadn’t paid his way then yeah…. He’d owe him.
Xander shook his head and held out the crap of paper. “You dropped this. I didn’t look to see what it was.”
Spike took the piece of paper, looked at it then refolded it. “Ta Pet.” It was hard to talk. He’d never liked saying goodbye. “It’s for you anyway. Read it when I’ve gone.” He passed the paper back to Xander.
Xander held the paper tightly in his hand. He suddenly realised he didn’t want Spike to leave. Spike was HIS vampire, his best friend and he loved him. Shit… He loved Spike. Tears filled Xander’s eye.
Even in the dim light from the nearest streetlight Spike could see Xander’s tears. He didn’t need enhanced vision either. Xander’s bottom lip trembled and he looked adorable, but then he always did.
“Spike? I don’t want you to go.” Xander fiddled with the hem of his red checked shirt, more nervous than he’d been on the day he never married Anya.
Spike sighed. “Xan? Luv I have to go. All we do is fight. I can’t do it anymore Pet. I need…. Need things you don’t like.” He looked into Xander’s eye, willing him to understand.
Xan smiled sadly. “Guy kissing? Someone to love you?”
Spike’s voice was gruff. “Somethin’ like that yeah.”
“I love you.” Xander’s voice trembled as he admitted his feelings.
“No ya don’t Pet. You won’t let anyone love ya, ya don’t let anyone close no more.” Spike itched to run his fingers through Xander’s hair. He worried who would wake his boy when he had his next nightmare.
“I know. I’ve been a fool. Let me try Spike? Please?” Xander began to panic as Angel’s car pulled up to the kerb near them. His eye went wide as Spike stood up. “Spike?” Xander stood up too.
“Take care Pet. I’m not what you need or want, ya’ve made that abundantly clear.” Spike swallowed his heart back down and kissed the tip of Xander’s nose. Without another word or glance at Xander, Spike picked up his bag and climbed into Angel’s car.
Xander’s heart broke as he watched Angel’s tail lights disappear around the corner.
Angel never spoke, he just placed his arm around Spike’s shoulders as his Childe curled up against him and cried all the way to LA. Through their fragile bond Angel could feel Spike’s pain. Even Drusilla and he had never managed to hurt Spike this much.
There was nothing Angel could do to help Spike. He watched his sad Grandchilde grieve for something he hadn’t even quite had. Angel had the grace to feel guilty. It was his fault after all. All those years ago when he had given Xander to Spike may have been a bluff, but their demons didn’t see it that way. Spike saw Xander as HIS. Simple fact. It was the living with it that was complicated. Spike had been more patient than Angel would have credited him with. He never made a move on Xander, just calmly waited for the human to come to him.
Angel had been horrified when one night he’d got Spike to explain the pain. It was worse than Angelus leaving, worse than Drusilla running off with that slime demon. Spike had belonged to Angelus and Dru, and though it had hurt like hell Spike was the one abandoned he hadn’t been the one to walk away. This time though, this time he’d walked away from the one person that was HIS alone. Spike had abandoned Xander. Spike had never given up on a loved one before. It made no difference to the demon that Xander just didn’t want him. Spike’s demon was pining away and he wasn’t feeding.
Xander was a wreck. He missed Spike constantly and not just to wake him from his nightmares. He wasn’t eating or sleeping properly and only the fact he was Dawn’s guardian kept him going. When Xander did sleep Spike haunted his dreams. He carried the scrap of paper off Spike in his pocket everywhere with him, though he now knew the words by heart. They were carved into his soul with Spike’s sharp mind, it was just what Xander deserved.
VINDICATION
I take love where I find it,
asking no questions.
What can you know of thousand-year nights?
Of fire that burns the blood, unquenched?
Of desperate longing for human warmth,
and the sound of a voice in the dark
whispering caresses?
You, who've laughed at scores like me,
What can you know of hunger that drives me
to seek shelter in a stranger's arms?
I take love where I find it -
Though all eternity waits,
there is never enough to go around.
Xander knew he had hurt Spike. He had judged his one friend without thinking. Every kindness Spike had shown him he had thrown back in his face. Xander had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want a relationship with anyone ever again, but was jealous when Spike went in search of comfort. Xander, more than anyone should know Spike was not a solitary being. He craved love and companionship, he was tactile and needed to touch and feel. Xander had starved Spike of these things when Spike had given Xander everything he had to give. Spike had moved with Dawn and Xander while Dawn finished university, putting his unlife on hold to keep his humans safe. Xander could not forgive himself, he felt like part of himself was missing and was too ashamed to call and beg forgiveness.
Dawn put up with a sulky, sad, pathetic Xander for six weeks. He wasn’t the only one missing Spike. As soon as the end of term came around Dawn had rang Angel to see if they could sort something out. Spike had refused to come to the phone, Angel explained Spike was now too weak to pay attention. Dawn had been horrified to learn how Spike was, that he could die without Xander. Xander acting the way he was, was bad enough but this was unacceptable. Xander had refused to go to LA, saying Spike didn’t want him anyway. Spike refused to come back to Xander saying Xander didn’t want him. Dawn decided enough was enough. She told Angel her plan, and he surprisingly agreed to it.
So the next day Dawn drugged Xander with a magical sleeping potion in his coffee and got Clem to carry him to the car. Dawn had packed for the both of them, and even told Xander’s boss she was taking him on a surprise holiday. She made sure Xander was comfortable on the back seat one last time then drove to LA.
Angel had been waiting for their arrival. As soon as Dawn parked the car Angel carried Xander inside and straight to Spike’s room. Spike was curled up fast asleep, he hardly woke up at all now, and never stirred when Angel placed Xander in the bed next to him. Angel stripped Xander to his boxer shorts and rolled him so he was snuggled up to Spike’s back. Spike never noticed. This was more serious than he had thought. Skin on skin contact should have woken Spike’s demon at least.
Dawn stood in the doorway crying softly. “What now?” She whispered.
“Blood. We need to wake Xander and let him see Spike. Even if they end up fighting maybe we could break the original gift bond I did and they can both move on. What did you use on Xander? Will he wake soon?” Angel walked over to Spike’s side of the bed and tried to wake him.
“I used a magical potion, I have the antidote. He’ll wake as soon as we give it to him.” Dawn pulled a small vile of pink powder out of her jeans pocket.
“Wake him, I’ll warm some blood.” Angel left the room, looking more worried than ever. It had taken years for him and Spike to get along, he didn’t want to lose him now.
Dawn tugged Xander over onto his back and sat beside him. If she gave him all the powder he would wake up properly and possibly try to run off. She decided to give him half of it and keep him groggy. Feeling not in the least bit guilty she sprinkled half of the powder into Xander’s mouth, it fizzed like sherbet when it hit his tongue. It took a few minutes to work, as if Xander was coming back from somewhere far away.
Xander groaned and yawned. “Hey Dawnie, what time is it?” Xander stretched and yawned again. He groped for his eye patch and Dawn showed it to him, she’d had it in her pocket.
“Time to save Spike. He’s dying because you are both so pigheaded and stupid.”
“Huh? Wha? Where’s Spike now?” Xander tried to sit up but felt woozy.
Dawn helpfully turned Xander’s head rather roughly in the direction of Spike.
“Whoa…. Why’s Spike in my bed?” Xander lifted the covers and gulped. Naked Spike, almost naked Xander.
Dawn smacked Xander’s shoulder. “You’re in his bed. Idiot. I drugged you to get you here in time.”
Xander thought all sorts of stuff was wrong with what Dawn said. But the sight of a skinny shivering Spike made him feel sick with worry. He reached out his hand and touched a freezing cold shoulder. “Spike?” Xander yawned again. Why was he so tired again?
“He can’t hear you. Breaking his bond with you because you told him to leave is killing him. His demon is dying.” Angel said as he walked back in with a mug of warm blood.
Xander began to panic, and tried to sit up. “How do we fix it? Gotta do something… need to wake up.” He yawned again and looked at Dawn.
“Xander do you promise to help us fix Spike before going home?” Dawn used her ‘Joyce’ voice.
“Of course I do, he needs to come home with me anyway. Nothing’s right without him.” Xander was stroking Spike’s arm and shoulder, concern obvious despite his yawns.
Dawn gave Xander the rest of the powder. As soon as he was wide awake Xander pulled Spike towards himself. “Spike? Oh Spike I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to leave.” Spike lay unmoving against Xander.
“Xander he needs blood but won’t feed. I think the scent of your blood might wake him.” Angel held out a small knife and Xander took it from him then cut a small gash in his index finger. Xander cradled Spike’s head and dripped the blood along Spike’s lips, forcing it into his mouth.
For the longest time Spike lay unmoving, the cut on Xander’s finger had all but stopped bleeding just as Spike’s fangs lowered. Xander smiled and smeared some of his blood on his own throat. “Feed from me Spike, bite me. Come on I’m your nummy treat.”
Dawn gasped and wanted to stop Xander but Angel’s hand on her shoulder held her back. Angel was ready to jump in and stop Spike if he was out of control.
Xander looked up at Dawn. “Leave the room Dawnie.” Dawn blushed as she realised Spike was naked as Xander moved him into his lap. She ran out of the room.
Spike was still docile and not awake as Xander held him like a child in his lap. Xander moved Spike’s head again so he could bite him. Only once before had he fed Spike, and then it was from a cut he already had.
Spike’s nostrils flared as he got closer to the scent of fresh blood. His demon wasn’t quite awake, yet it knew this wasn’t just food. With Xander’s hand on the back of his head his fangs bit down. Warm blood filled his mouth and he swallowed deeply.
Xander groaned. He’d been expecting the bite to really hurt but it just felt like he was getting a hickey. He held Spike tighter, willing him to wake up.
Spike moaned in pleasure. The taste of his Pet filling his mouth and his scent enveloping him. His Pet. Xander. Spike’s eyes flew open as his fangs withdrew. He’d bitten his boy. “No, no, no…. Sorry so sorry” He mumbled trying to escape Xander’s hold.
Xander had expected Spike to wake and carry on feeding, perhaps having to have Angel pull him off. He grabbed Spike tightly. “Hey it’s ok. I made you bite me to wake you up.” Xander held the trembling vampire closer, rocking him slightly.
Spike’s eyes flew to Xander’s face. His Pet wasn’t mad with him? He stopped struggling when he saw the look on Xander’s face. The whelp was worried.
Angel sat on the edge of the bed. “Spike drink this. You won’t be thinking straight till you feed.” Angel helped Spike hold the mug of blood as he drank it. He noticed Spike didn’t put up any protest about the assistance, just drank the blood.
Spike drank the blood. It was a mixture of human and Angel’s blood. After the taste of Xander’s blood it tasted awful but he needed to feed if he was to speak with his boy. He’d been dreaming of his boy and now here he was. When the mug was empty he watched Angel leave to get more, and then turned his eyes back to Xander. He found it amusing he was sat in Xander’s lap.
Spike cupped the side of Xander’s face. “Why ya here luv?”
“I woke up here. Dawn had a plan. I’m glad she did.” Xander leaned into Spike’s hand, his eye half closing. “I miss you so much.”
“Miss you too Pet. But we don’t get on do we?”
“Yes we do. It’s me that’s been stupid. I’m sorry, so sorry. I don’t know if I can fix us, but I want to try. Let me try Spike. Don’t say anything just be a good naked vampire and let me do this.” Xander wrapped Spike in his arms and kissed his lips gently.
Spike couldn’t believe Xander was kissing him and holding him. Years. He’d waited years for this. He sighed deeply and started kissing him back. Soon Spike’s arms were holding Xander as they kissed softly.
Spike couldn’t help the soft growl as Xander slid his tongue inside Spike’s mouth. Xander was a really good kisser but Spike set out to show him a thing or two. Spike smiled as Xander groaned when Spike sucked on his tongue, he laughed softly when they had to stop to allow Xander to breathe.
“Wow….. Spike…. Oh wow. Next time I go to say something stupid just kiss me.”
Spike laughed again. “Could be a full time task that Pet.”
“Uh huh…. Hey was that an insult? Don’t care, not today just kiss me again.” Spike happily obliged.
By the time Angel came back with more blood Xander was panting for breath and looking rather flushed. Angel smirked. “You should feed more Spike, I think you’re going to need the energy.”
Spike gave Angel an unconvincing innocent look and accepted the mug of blood. He sipped it as Xander watched him. More Angel blood. “You trying to fatten me up Peaches?”
“Something like that. Xander’s lost weight too.” Angel may have a teasing tone to his voice, but he was serious. They both looked awful.
“Yeah well, I guess we’re both a pair of prize berks.” Spike looked down Xander’s chest. His boy looked tired and half starved. He’d obviously been neglecting himself. “We need ta feed him up a bit with healthy stuff.”
Angel nodded. “Dawn is working on it, get some sleep.” Angel walked away, off to see what Dawn was up to in the kitchen.
Xander looked at Spike. Spike looked at Xander as he finished drinking his mug of blood. Spike did the brow thing when Xander bit his lip. “What?”
“I want to say something stupid so you’ll kiss me again.”
Spike snorted. “It’s not good enough for ya I’m sat in ya lap naked? You want kisses too?”
Xander grinned and ran a finger down Spike’s spine. He lifted the sheet and made a show of looking at Spike.
“Oi…. That’s cheating. You’ve still got ya boxies on.” Spike snatched the sheet and covered himself.
Xander giggled. “You normally run around naked, what’s the difference now?”
Spike sighed. “Cos this time ya lookin’. Normally you ignore me.”
Xander blushed. “Ohhh I never ignored you Spike. I looked real close.”
Spike’s eyes went wide and he grinned. “New rules then Pet. If you get to look so do I.” Spike did the thing with his tongue that made Xander’s stomach flip.
Xander blushed bright red, then shifted Spike out of his lap and wriggled out of his underwear. Xander lay down next to Spike, breathing faster than normal and looking nervous.
Spike’s eyes travelled the length of his boys body. He hadn’t expected Xander to strip naked for him straight away. He had never been one to waste an opportunity so he crawled over Xander and covered him with his own body.
“Spike? What are you doing?” Xander asked after a while and Spike didn’t move.
Spike lifted his head from Xander’s shoulder so he could see his face. “I’m stealing your body heat and listening to your heart beat.”
“Oh.”
Spike snorted. “Shut up and sleep, ya knackered luv and so am I.”
Xander pouted, he was a bit disappointed and was about to complain when Spike kissed him again. Xander ended up breathless with one hand tangled in Spike’s hair and the other one on the naked vampires butt.
Spike ran his fingers through Xander’s unruly hair. “Sleep now luv, we can play later.” Spike knew his boy was tired, and for what he had planned Xander would need to be well fed and rested.
The next couple of days flew by. Dawn fed them both and made them rest. Angel hovered in the background, slipping some of his own blood into each mug of blood for Spike. Xander and Spike both slept a lot, curled up together. Each time Xander tried to talk to Spike he was kissed. It worked so well at stopping the arguments they both wondered why they hadn’t done it before.
On the fourth day Dawn was driving home to pack up their stuff. University was over and it was decided they would all stay with Angel. Angel went with her leaving Spike and Xander alone for a couple of days. They both promised to behave.
Spike watched Xander closely. The had been alone for an hour. Xander was being unusually quiet. “Xan luv? What’s wrong?”
Xander gulped. Uh oh. “I thought you wanted me, you know? Wanted me? But I guess I was wrong. It’s cool. I don’t blame you for just wanting a friend and the kissing is nice but don’t feel you have to do that. You can stop now. I know your demon needs me now, so you got me ok? I just thought…….”
“Bloody daft git. Come ‘ere.” Spike pounced on Xander kissing him hard. “I want you.” More kissing and Xander’s shirt was pulled off. “I need you.” Even more kisses and Xander’s baggy cargo pants fell around his ankles. “I’m not going to stop Xander, ever.” Xander was suddenly naked and over Spike’s shoulder being carried to bed.
Xander landed on the bed with a giggle. He watched as Spike stripped himself and crawled like a panther up the bed towards him. Oh boy, Spike was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He was all lean muscle that rippled under his pale smooth skin.
“I’m going to claim you now Pet, make ya mine properly forever. You gonna be ok with that?” Spike rested his forehead against Xander’s, waiting for an answer.
Xander nodded. He couldn’t remember how to speak. He moved his legs apart so Spike could kneel between them. Xander was so hard it hurt. He had seen Spike naked lots of times but never like this, eager and hard and wanting him. “P..P..lease.”
Spike kissed his boy. His beautiful sexy boy. “Shhh luv, relax for me.”
Spike was all fingers and lips. Every inch of Xander was licked, kissed and sucked. Long cool fingers caressed, kneaded and stroked until Xander was gasping and begging wordlessly for more, something, anything. Xander didn’t seem to notice the fingers inside him he was so relaxed, but he noticed them being removed. He whimpered at their loss, feeling empty.
Spike was in awe of how responsive Xander was to each little touch. His boy relaxed and let Spike do anything to him. Spike had deliberately not stroked Xander’s prostate, he was saving that pleasure for when he was deep inside him. “My gorgeous boy. Ya so beautiful pet. Let me in luv, yeah….. OH fuck yeah.” Spike slid deep inside Xander’s relaxed body for the first time. They both moaned loudly.
Xander’s back arched and his breath hitched as he felt Spike filling him. His hands clutched the sheet, then grabbed at Spike. He wanted more, wanted Spike deeper still. This felt amazing. Xander drew his legs up, wrapping them around Spike. They both shuddered at the change in angle.
Spike moved slowly, his hips undulating in a movement to rival a belly dancer. He smiled as each movement caused his cock to drag across Xander’s prostate, making his boy shiver and groan with pleasure. He had waited years to claim his Xander, there was no rush now. Just a need to show his Pet how good it could be, making this first time something to always remember. They had all the time in the future for fast fucks. This was slow and sensual building up slowly. Lazy kisses and tongues teasing each other. Xander sucked Spike’s tongue in time with the vampire’s hip movements, smiling when he was rewarded with a groan and softly whispered curses.
Xander’s heat surrounded Spike. It was almost too much. His hands were never still, touching and caressing, gently teasing Xander’s flesh. Xander had never been made love to like this. No one had ever taken the time to give him so much pleasure before. He felt like he was floating, falling apart and being remade all over again. Everything just felt so right, not freaky at all.
Tears filled Spike’s eyes as he watched his boy tilt his head offering his throat to Spike. They were both so close, he had been teasing them both by taking them to the edge of completion, but pulling back. Spike wrapped the fingers of his left hand around Xander’s gorgeous cock as he lowered his fangs. “Come for me baby.” He whispered just before biting down on Xander’s where his neck met his shoulder and drinking deeply. Xander bucked up against Spike, his orgasm rippling through his body like a tidal wave and covering Spike’s belly as he screamed Spike’s name. Spike withdrew his fangs, leaving behind a mark that would be on Xander forever as he shuddered his release deep inside Xander and roared ‘MINE’.
Xander held Spike tightly, whispering hoarsely “Yours, always yours.” He smiled and laughed delightedly when Spike purred. He held HIS vampire for a long time before blushing and saying:
“I have love now I’ve found it -
Though all eternity waits,
there is always enough to go around.”
Spike leaned up and looked down at Xander’s face. “Soppy git.” He managed to say around a huge grin.
Xander grinned back. “Takes one to know one.”
And they lived happily ever after.
*The Poems ‘On Love’ and ‘Vindication’ can be found on Takhen Live Journal in ‘Memories - The Many Faces of Love.
