im cold
_ this snow is absolutely unbelievably relentless. but im
enjoying it as has given me entirely too much time to
sit and think [and attempt to kill myself in the jeep.]
_ my online bank statement is finally caught up. as lame as
that sounds it actually makes me happy to find everything
in a state of equilibrium where there is no uncertainty as
to how much money i have in the bank and how much money i
really can't afford to spend. from now on [or at least feb.1]
im going to try my best to balance my checkbook and not rely
on technology. who knows, armageddon could happen tonight
and i wouldn't know how much money was in my account. what a
tragedy that would be.
_ regarding the current funk i seem to have found myself in:
alley said something to me the other day amidst quite a confusing
conversation which really made me think and has been at the
forefront of everything since yesterday.
hey its matt hey (5:29:15 PM): i don't know. like i said. last semester was fucked up. in a lot of areas/cases. then break was amazing. and i was so down with just hanging being single and what not. and now im here. and im soooo lonely. as bitchy/girly as that sounds.
Falling4You118 (5:29:34 PM): yea
Falling4You118 (5:29:38 PM): welcome to the real world
hey its matt hey (5:30:07 PM): what world was i in before?
Falling4You118 (5:30:20 PM): the non real world
Falling4You118 (5:30:30 PM): of always being able to depend on soemone else for your happiness
hey its matt hey (5:32:05 PM): yeah i suppose so.
Falling4You118 (5:32:25 PM): give it time
Falling4You118 (5:32:28 PM): it gets easier
hey its matt hey (5:33:34 PM): i guess so. i feel like it doesn't when i go to a school where i see half my graduating class everyday. and now im just complaining. i don't know. fuck.
Falling4You118 (5:34:25 PM): waht? what does seeing high school friends have to do with anything? and you KNEW that before you decided to go there
Falling4You118 (5:34:32 PM): that was one of the pluses of going to that school
Falling4You118 (5:34:40 PM): i was just sayin gthat it gets easier being alone with time.
Falling4You118 (5:34:48 PM): you just have to let yourself find yourself.
Falling4You118 (5:34:56 PM): on its own, with no one elses help
hey its matt hey (5:35:24 PM): right and i was saying that's hard because i can depend on my high school chums as opposed to new people
Falling4You118 (5:35:47 PM): depend on them for what?
Falling4You118 (5:35:51 PM): support of not being with someone?
Falling4You118 (5:36:16 PM): the peopel taht youre around doesnt matter, its you
so it's me. it's all me. it's funny because i honestly
never thought about it like that. i have huge issues of
being alone. whether it be girls or people in general.
so that's the goal i guess. learn to get awesome by myself.
it can be done im sure. i guess in a way it has to be done.
_ thanks to derek for saving the day on the ra application
reference form. it looks as though despite my laziness
and irresponsibility to get it in on time, theyre still
going to accept it. now lets hope i get to the interview
portion. lets not make this another 1in4 experience.
_ im reading more. sort of. i'd like to be reading more than
"sort of" but we'll work on it.
_ shaun and i are going to tech/uva this weekend for the drama
art show and fest full of rock. im extremely amped to see my
brother and others that i love. im also excited for madison
project shows in the coming month.
in general, february will be like the new year - a month later.
it's going to rule, or else!
enjoying it as has given me entirely too much time to
sit and think [and attempt to kill myself in the jeep.]
_ my online bank statement is finally caught up. as lame as
that sounds it actually makes me happy to find everything
in a state of equilibrium where there is no uncertainty as
to how much money i have in the bank and how much money i
really can't afford to spend. from now on [or at least feb.1]
im going to try my best to balance my checkbook and not rely
on technology. who knows, armageddon could happen tonight
and i wouldn't know how much money was in my account. what a
tragedy that would be.
_ regarding the current funk i seem to have found myself in:
alley said something to me the other day amidst quite a confusing
conversation which really made me think and has been at the
forefront of everything since yesterday.
hey its matt hey (5:29:15 PM): i don't know. like i said. last semester was fucked up. in a lot of areas/cases. then break was amazing. and i was so down with just hanging being single and what not. and now im here. and im soooo lonely. as bitchy/girly as that sounds.
Falling4You118 (5:29:34 PM): yea
Falling4You118 (5:29:38 PM): welcome to the real world
hey its matt hey (5:30:07 PM): what world was i in before?
Falling4You118 (5:30:20 PM): the non real world
Falling4You118 (5:30:30 PM): of always being able to depend on soemone else for your happiness
hey its matt hey (5:32:05 PM): yeah i suppose so.
Falling4You118 (5:32:25 PM): give it time
Falling4You118 (5:32:28 PM): it gets easier
hey its matt hey (5:33:34 PM): i guess so. i feel like it doesn't when i go to a school where i see half my graduating class everyday. and now im just complaining. i don't know. fuck.
Falling4You118 (5:34:25 PM): waht? what does seeing high school friends have to do with anything? and you KNEW that before you decided to go there
Falling4You118 (5:34:32 PM): that was one of the pluses of going to that school
Falling4You118 (5:34:40 PM): i was just sayin gthat it gets easier being alone with time.
Falling4You118 (5:34:48 PM): you just have to let yourself find yourself.
Falling4You118 (5:34:56 PM): on its own, with no one elses help
hey its matt hey (5:35:24 PM): right and i was saying that's hard because i can depend on my high school chums as opposed to new people
Falling4You118 (5:35:47 PM): depend on them for what?
Falling4You118 (5:35:51 PM): support of not being with someone?
Falling4You118 (5:36:16 PM): the peopel taht youre around doesnt matter, its you
so it's me. it's all me. it's funny because i honestly
never thought about it like that. i have huge issues of
being alone. whether it be girls or people in general.
so that's the goal i guess. learn to get awesome by myself.
it can be done im sure. i guess in a way it has to be done.
_ thanks to derek for saving the day on the ra application
reference form. it looks as though despite my laziness
and irresponsibility to get it in on time, theyre still
going to accept it. now lets hope i get to the interview
portion. lets not make this another 1in4 experience.
_ im reading more. sort of. i'd like to be reading more than
"sort of" but we'll work on it.
_ shaun and i are going to tech/uva this weekend for the drama
art show and fest full of rock. im extremely amped to see my
brother and others that i love. im also excited for madison
project shows in the coming month.
in general, february will be like the new year - a month later.
it's going to rule, or else!