stupid insomnia
I'm miserable. I still can't sleep. I'm almost certain I've lost a friend. I dont know what I did wrong, or if I did anything wrong. I just know she wont return my phone calls or emails. She didnt even call on my b-day. I dont know why I'm so upset. We havent been close friends anyway for a while now. I guess I thought we would eventually, slowly, drift away. That way we could still call each other up once in a while to catch up, see where we're at in life. We could still remember our thousands of memories with happiness, no bitter aftertaste. I could always hope the best for her. I could say some day that I've had this friend for 50 years, and it would be true. But now our time together looks somehow insincere. My memories with her feel so hollow. All of the times that were hard, should we have just given up then? Of course not. So why is she giving up now? If there's a problem, why can't she come to me and say what's on her mind? Then we could fix it, like best friends do. She could just be taking time away. It wouldn't be unlike her. That thought doesn't console me. Wouldn't real friends work out their problems instead of just "taking cover" until the storm blows over? The most irritating part is, I have no idea what this is all about.