everything comes full circle and today i'm still in love
i talked to sara currey today in the unabashed journalistic fashion i like to talk to people not once did she ever lie or falter and i think she's absolutely beautiful.
today, i read through all my old entries for the year trying to figure out what i've learned from this year and i think above all i learned that things actually do change a year ago i was broken hearted and exhausted. i had more friends than i could handle. was chubby and oblivious to it. reggie and i liked each other...or i liked him rather. i had found my soultwin. taryn and i were inseperable, i was battered a little bit and hurting myself----------------------now i'm in love, i'm reconnecting lost friendships, 50 pounds lighter, reggie and i don't like each other...or i don't like him rather(though it's mutual i'm sure), i lost my soultwin, taryn lost herself, i'm rebuilding myself and i've started eating again.
i think next year, i'll explore a little bit but come back more fufilled and able to commit. i'll be gearing up to graduate. i'll have as many friends as i can handle and i'll be good to them as they always have been for me. hopefully lost another 15 pounds. who knows, maybe reggie and i will come to an understanding or taryn and i will reconnect. hopefully both. oh, and i'll continue eating.
I'm looking forward to another year. this year taught me so much and i've become more of who i will be and who i want to be. Looking back, i wasn't sad like i thought i would be as most of the first five months of this year were beyond heartbreaking for me, it usually still makes me sad for that time in my life even though the last 7 have been a whirlwind of unlimited joy and wonderful things. but sara currey said something wonderful to me today about living without regrets because it all happens for a reason. i think that's a philosophy i'll try to adopt.
i think i'm coming to terms and will finally one day soon be able to be content...truly content. no longer restless and critical...but satiated and ready for my future. instead of thinking and anticipating days in advance i'll be more relaxed and accepting...those are my resolutions i suppose.
i guess i'll leave this year wiser and more optimistic for the next one. i have bigger lessons to learn i suppose and i'm looking forward to them, excited by the upcoming challenges...but for now, right now-this very instant, i'm content with it.
i'll be with davis in 30 hours and we'll bring in the new year together...i cannot express how much that overwhelms me...he has been a part of every single one of my days this year-not a day has gone by when we haven't talked, not one- and a year ago, i was cursing him and now--well i still am but i know we'll work it out now--honestly, he's it for me and i hope he's a part of all the rest of my days as well.
".cheers to a happy year. i'm glad to have seen your smiles and i hope to see all of you smiling soon."
xo
amanda
today, i read through all my old entries for the year trying to figure out what i've learned from this year and i think above all i learned that things actually do change a year ago i was broken hearted and exhausted. i had more friends than i could handle. was chubby and oblivious to it. reggie and i liked each other...or i liked him rather. i had found my soultwin. taryn and i were inseperable, i was battered a little bit and hurting myself----------------------now i'm in love, i'm reconnecting lost friendships, 50 pounds lighter, reggie and i don't like each other...or i don't like him rather(though it's mutual i'm sure), i lost my soultwin, taryn lost herself, i'm rebuilding myself and i've started eating again.
i think next year, i'll explore a little bit but come back more fufilled and able to commit. i'll be gearing up to graduate. i'll have as many friends as i can handle and i'll be good to them as they always have been for me. hopefully lost another 15 pounds. who knows, maybe reggie and i will come to an understanding or taryn and i will reconnect. hopefully both. oh, and i'll continue eating.
I'm looking forward to another year. this year taught me so much and i've become more of who i will be and who i want to be. Looking back, i wasn't sad like i thought i would be as most of the first five months of this year were beyond heartbreaking for me, it usually still makes me sad for that time in my life even though the last 7 have been a whirlwind of unlimited joy and wonderful things. but sara currey said something wonderful to me today about living without regrets because it all happens for a reason. i think that's a philosophy i'll try to adopt.
i think i'm coming to terms and will finally one day soon be able to be content...truly content. no longer restless and critical...but satiated and ready for my future. instead of thinking and anticipating days in advance i'll be more relaxed and accepting...those are my resolutions i suppose.
i guess i'll leave this year wiser and more optimistic for the next one. i have bigger lessons to learn i suppose and i'm looking forward to them, excited by the upcoming challenges...but for now, right now-this very instant, i'm content with it.
i'll be with davis in 30 hours and we'll bring in the new year together...i cannot express how much that overwhelms me...he has been a part of every single one of my days this year-not a day has gone by when we haven't talked, not one- and a year ago, i was cursing him and now--well i still am but i know we'll work it out now--honestly, he's it for me and i hope he's a part of all the rest of my days as well.
".cheers to a happy year. i'm glad to have seen your smiles and i hope to see all of you smiling soon."
xo
amanda