Calm Before The Storm [standalone]
Title: Calm Before The Storm
Author:takeour_tears
Rating: PG
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
POV: First; Ryan.
Summary: "I didn't know how to phrase it."
Disclaimer: Both of them belong to Pete, because Pete owns everyone, even though Ryan's not in his label anymore, and to each other.
Title by Fall Out Boy.
Author Notes: I don't know if I like this, to be honest. It's inconclusive, and not well written, but I still felt like I had to share it with everyone.
I didn't know how to phrase it.
"Brendon, I..." He hadn't waited for me to finish, however. I watched as realisation flashed across his face. He lowered his eyes from mine and, with a sharp nod, left, slamming the door loudly on his way out.
But that was then, and this is now.
I sat perched on the end of my bed, staring at the notebook in my hand. I'd finished writing a song and I was trying to figure out if it was good enough - if I was good enough.
I would never be good enough, because even if everyone - Spencer, Jon, Brendon - told me that I was, I would never be able to see my own self worth, and that hurt more than anything.
That's how he found me, curled up on my bed, trying to disappear, notebook thrown to the floor.
"Ryan..." Brendon sighed. This was something we did everyday. We'd fight, and then, hours later, Brendon would find me and we'd make up. Today, however, that didn't seem like it was the case - Brendon was still leaning against the doorframe, in an uncomfortable manner.
"Ryan..." He repeated, finally making his way over to my bed, on the side farthest from me, I realised, as I felt that end dip. "...you're cold." He remarked, and I noticed for the first time, that I was shaking. I shrugged, and he continued with whatever it was that he wanted to say.
"Ryan, I can't do this anymore." He was staring into my eyes, trying to get a reaction, but my brain felt too numb. "You're hurting me, and you're hurting yourself. We need to end this." He finished, adding emphasis to the last sentence. I started shaking more violently, but it wasn't the cold, this time.
"I love you." A broken whisper escaped my mouth, managing to find its way around the sudden lump in my throat.
I saw the hesitancy in his step, but other than that, he gave no indication that he'd heard, as he walked out of my bedroom, house and life.
And as my tears started to fall, I realised that he'd forgotten to give me back my heart.
Author:takeour_tears
Rating: PG
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
POV: First; Ryan.
Summary: "I didn't know how to phrase it."
Disclaimer: Both of them belong to Pete, because Pete owns everyone, even though Ryan's not in his label anymore, and to each other.
Title by Fall Out Boy.
Author Notes: I don't know if I like this, to be honest. It's inconclusive, and not well written, but I still felt like I had to share it with everyone.
I didn't know how to phrase it.
"Brendon, I..." He hadn't waited for me to finish, however. I watched as realisation flashed across his face. He lowered his eyes from mine and, with a sharp nod, left, slamming the door loudly on his way out.
But that was then, and this is now.
I sat perched on the end of my bed, staring at the notebook in my hand. I'd finished writing a song and I was trying to figure out if it was good enough - if I was good enough.
I would never be good enough, because even if everyone - Spencer, Jon, Brendon - told me that I was, I would never be able to see my own self worth, and that hurt more than anything.
That's how he found me, curled up on my bed, trying to disappear, notebook thrown to the floor.
"Ryan..." Brendon sighed. This was something we did everyday. We'd fight, and then, hours later, Brendon would find me and we'd make up. Today, however, that didn't seem like it was the case - Brendon was still leaning against the doorframe, in an uncomfortable manner.
"Ryan..." He repeated, finally making his way over to my bed, on the side farthest from me, I realised, as I felt that end dip. "...you're cold." He remarked, and I noticed for the first time, that I was shaking. I shrugged, and he continued with whatever it was that he wanted to say.
"Ryan, I can't do this anymore." He was staring into my eyes, trying to get a reaction, but my brain felt too numb. "You're hurting me, and you're hurting yourself. We need to end this." He finished, adding emphasis to the last sentence. I started shaking more violently, but it wasn't the cold, this time.
"I love you." A broken whisper escaped my mouth, managing to find its way around the sudden lump in my throat.
I saw the hesitancy in his step, but other than that, he gave no indication that he'd heard, as he walked out of my bedroom, house and life.
And as my tears started to fall, I realised that he'd forgotten to give me back my heart.