Passive Aggressive LJ venting because I dont know how else to get my feelings out...
I seriously think I'm like manic depressive...or something. I know I'm crazy, but yeah this is kinda ridiculous. Overall the past few weeks, as I mentioned before, I have been feeling pretty awesome, but it's been battling with the sudden drops to depression...as I am now. And when I get depressed, I start thinking. I mean it's only so long you can live in a denial about everything as I keep reminding myself...
I feel abandoned, lonely, and not sure what to do about it. This doesn't apply to everyone, but I just feel like a lot of people have decided to drop me in their lives for no reason that I can clearly figure out. I know I'm not perfect, but seriously, are they all that selfish that they can't see past anything I might do? Or at least find out what's going on in my life that has made me so different than I was before that they don't want to have anything to do with me anymore?
It sucks and like I said, this doesn't apply to everyone, but with a lot of people, I don't know who to trust anymore. Friends are very important to me. I am a pretty loyal, devoted, committed person when it comes to friendships so when I get dropped or undeservingly shat upon, it hits me pretty hard. A simple solution would be to find new friends who won't do that to me...but it isn't quite that simple.
I'm really tired of a lot of crap and taking a lot of crap and I'm seriously just done.
I could also go on in the area of loneliness about the lack of men/cuddling/etc, but I'm there in the same boat with so many people. It just sucks a lot. Patience is a virtue, so I know that one day I will find the love that I desire so much. It's one of the few things keeping me going.
blarg.
I feel abandoned, lonely, and not sure what to do about it. This doesn't apply to everyone, but I just feel like a lot of people have decided to drop me in their lives for no reason that I can clearly figure out. I know I'm not perfect, but seriously, are they all that selfish that they can't see past anything I might do? Or at least find out what's going on in my life that has made me so different than I was before that they don't want to have anything to do with me anymore?
It sucks and like I said, this doesn't apply to everyone, but with a lot of people, I don't know who to trust anymore. Friends are very important to me. I am a pretty loyal, devoted, committed person when it comes to friendships so when I get dropped or undeservingly shat upon, it hits me pretty hard. A simple solution would be to find new friends who won't do that to me...but it isn't quite that simple.
I'm really tired of a lot of crap and taking a lot of crap and I'm seriously just done.
I could also go on in the area of loneliness about the lack of men/cuddling/etc, but I'm there in the same boat with so many people. It just sucks a lot. Patience is a virtue, so I know that one day I will find the love that I desire so much. It's one of the few things keeping me going.
blarg.