New Beginning?
Something snapped in me a few weekends ago, and I am taking steps to improve myself physically and mentally.
Physically: I cut off 11 inches of my hair to donate to Locks of Love. I feel really good about it, and I also really like my haircut. =) Also physically, in an effort to lose the weight I keep complaining about, I joined SparkPeople.com (the website Dana used to lose 125+ lbs.) and so far it is working out for me. I have a place to document everything I eat, all the exercise I do, and it also has a lot of articles relating to health, fitness, etc. There is also this point rewards system for logging in, reading particular articles, posting things, documenting stuff, etc. which gives you little trophies for every certain point milestone (it's kinda fun and forces me to learn stuff). I just started last week so my first weigh-in is not until Wednesday morning. So far so good because this gives me something to kill time with at work other than Facebook and something to motivate me to keep trying instead of giving up so easily. Woo.
Mentally: I'm fucking crazy. I've known this for a while; a lot of you have known this for a while, however, I'm realizing day by day that I am becoming more emotionally unstable, more socially awkward in once comfortable situations, losing interest in activities I once enjoyed, all amongst the other warning signs of depression, etc. (this is to the point where I'm now realizing that it's affecting my relationships with people). I am trying to take steps to hopefully get out of these crazy emotional rollercoasters where I am great a few days a month and then I'm a complete sunk the rest of the time, but I can only do so much. My friends can only do so much. I know I probably need to start going to counseling, but it's only a matter of finding somewhere that's not too expensive that will actually help. At least one thing I am attempting to do is just let go of things that really don't matter and begin forgiving those who have hurt me in some sort of way. This is going to probably take some time, but I've already consciously taken steps with a few issues and people and am trying to be the bigger person in certain not-good social situations. One step at a time right?
I am quite optimistic for my current state. I almost feel like there is some other being inside of me making me act and feel all these negative things, and this optimism that I seem to have despite it all is the "real" me fighting back. I dunno. Let's just hope everything works out in time...
Physically: I cut off 11 inches of my hair to donate to Locks of Love. I feel really good about it, and I also really like my haircut. =) Also physically, in an effort to lose the weight I keep complaining about, I joined SparkPeople.com (the website Dana used to lose 125+ lbs.) and so far it is working out for me. I have a place to document everything I eat, all the exercise I do, and it also has a lot of articles relating to health, fitness, etc. There is also this point rewards system for logging in, reading particular articles, posting things, documenting stuff, etc. which gives you little trophies for every certain point milestone (it's kinda fun and forces me to learn stuff). I just started last week so my first weigh-in is not until Wednesday morning. So far so good because this gives me something to kill time with at work other than Facebook and something to motivate me to keep trying instead of giving up so easily. Woo.
Mentally: I'm fucking crazy. I've known this for a while; a lot of you have known this for a while, however, I'm realizing day by day that I am becoming more emotionally unstable, more socially awkward in once comfortable situations, losing interest in activities I once enjoyed, all amongst the other warning signs of depression, etc. (this is to the point where I'm now realizing that it's affecting my relationships with people). I am trying to take steps to hopefully get out of these crazy emotional rollercoasters where I am great a few days a month and then I'm a complete sunk the rest of the time, but I can only do so much. My friends can only do so much. I know I probably need to start going to counseling, but it's only a matter of finding somewhere that's not too expensive that will actually help. At least one thing I am attempting to do is just let go of things that really don't matter and begin forgiving those who have hurt me in some sort of way. This is going to probably take some time, but I've already consciously taken steps with a few issues and people and am trying to be the bigger person in certain not-good social situations. One step at a time right?
I am quite optimistic for my current state. I almost feel like there is some other being inside of me making me act and feel all these negative things, and this optimism that I seem to have despite it all is the "real" me fighting back. I dunno. Let's just hope everything works out in time...