(no subject)
The funny thing about falling in love is that the process is so ordinary. My butterflies lasted for about thirty seconds, when I hid in the back cooler of work, while the boy of my dreams looked for me outside. 6 hours later we were dating.
I’m quite certain the process for him was slightly more nerve wracking especially considering the stuttered “Will you go out with me?” that was punctuated with long gaps of silence, in which I smiled and nodded.
My point here is that I never imagined in my wildest dreams that loving someone would be so easy to fall into. How each day would have a similar pattern, and sleeping next to someone every night after so many years alone would feel so comfortable.
And I’m rushing it. As much as I wish I weren’t I know for certain that I am. Now that I have him and I know I want him forever, I can’t wait to start that forever as soon as possible.
Last night we looked at diamonds and gold. We made uncomfortable conversation with sales people as we tried to avoid looking silly. It was 3 months on Thursday.
My head is full of wood houses, with large gardens and earth tones. Filled with children and animals and love.
This morning I woke up to kisses. On my lips and forehead. On my nose, cheeks, collarbones, and back. I am going to miss that sorely. I am going to miss his everyday smile. The hunts for agates in his backyard, with Pedro bounding after our heels. I am going to miss our beginning, because it is coming to an end.
Now we have to endure our hard part. Living an hour apart and doing our own separate individual things. We are not one, yet. And as much as I would love to pretend that I am a grown up, ready for marriage, ready for kids, ready for anything thrown my way. I know that I am not. I know I have a lot more living to do. A lot more learning.
I have to figure out me, before I can ever begin to figure out him and me. And then, I have to realize that I may never figure out fully, Me or Him and Me, and basically for the rest of my life I will be learning. I guess that is just the human process.
I’m quite certain the process for him was slightly more nerve wracking especially considering the stuttered “Will you go out with me?” that was punctuated with long gaps of silence, in which I smiled and nodded.
My point here is that I never imagined in my wildest dreams that loving someone would be so easy to fall into. How each day would have a similar pattern, and sleeping next to someone every night after so many years alone would feel so comfortable.
And I’m rushing it. As much as I wish I weren’t I know for certain that I am. Now that I have him and I know I want him forever, I can’t wait to start that forever as soon as possible.
Last night we looked at diamonds and gold. We made uncomfortable conversation with sales people as we tried to avoid looking silly. It was 3 months on Thursday.
My head is full of wood houses, with large gardens and earth tones. Filled with children and animals and love.
This morning I woke up to kisses. On my lips and forehead. On my nose, cheeks, collarbones, and back. I am going to miss that sorely. I am going to miss his everyday smile. The hunts for agates in his backyard, with Pedro bounding after our heels. I am going to miss our beginning, because it is coming to an end.
Now we have to endure our hard part. Living an hour apart and doing our own separate individual things. We are not one, yet. And as much as I would love to pretend that I am a grown up, ready for marriage, ready for kids, ready for anything thrown my way. I know that I am not. I know I have a lot more living to do. A lot more learning.
I have to figure out me, before I can ever begin to figure out him and me. And then, I have to realize that I may never figure out fully, Me or Him and Me, and basically for the rest of my life I will be learning. I guess that is just the human process.