(no subject)
Nothing really important, I just feel like rambling. Which is totally in the scope of this journal.
Made a necklace, which really isn't groundbreaking because I make new stuff everyday, but this one is for me. I really like it.
Endlessly She Said
Yeah. I'd make more crap that was different but no one would buy the shit, and then I'd be stuck with it. Or something. And I've had no success selling it online, probably because I should go ahead and finish my own jewelry site, but I'm just not inspired. And without photoshop. And well, I'm tired of paying ebay and etsy fees [no matter how miniscule they are]. No one buys the shit! Plus it's hard to stay away from ebay as it is. *drops to knees and shakes fist at the heavens* One of the many reasons I'm always dead broke.
Someone bought me a subscription on deviantart yesterday. I was supposed to help him with his journal css [and well, I was finished I just hadn't sent it to him yet], but someone did before me. So he bought me a 3 month subscription instead. Which rocks, I must admit. I'm not really sure why he felt the need, but I'm not questioning the decision. I didn't know what I was missing, and the servers are definitely faster for subscribed accounts. Yay for me?
Did I mention I have kittens? Well, I do. Maybe I'll explain later because I honestly don't feel like it. And I'll post pictures! But I have 3/6 names so far. Magdalena [Maggie, she answers to both], Vortigan, and Salvador [okay, I selfishly indulged in a famous person name for once, so sue me]. The other adult ones are Erebus, Belladonna [Bella], and Vervaine [Vaine, Vainey]. I like 'different' names.
Anyways, I think I was barking up the wrong tree. I understand that he was drunk and his home situation is not so great at the moment, but last night he said something to me that I was not expecting. I showed no sign of reaction, I didn't flinch a muscle and I kept on talking to Peter without missing a beat, but I heard. I heard what you said. And whether or not you even remember saying it today, or whether you meant it, it still cut me a little. It sliced me right there on my exposed heart. I'm not focusing on it or lingering on it in any way whatsoever, but I realized..something in that moment. The veil was pulled from over my eyes and I'm no longer pining away for you like some silly little girl. I would have done anything you asked, but I'm not going to waste any more energy on you. On the other hand, Peter caught me off guard [as he can so easily do]. I had on my pink fishnets and some cute little shoes with charms on them on. Flat shoes, low cut, you know all that shit that is popular at the moment. When Phil got up to get coffee, Peter said, "So, why don't you have your fuck me shoes on?" Now, you never know what's going to come out of his mouth, he's a very strange character. I thought I heard him wrong, so I replied, "Uhhh, what?" "Where's your boots or stilettos? Those would go better with those stockings. I'd go for it" Then he proceeds to say some other stuff, and stroke my leg. And stare at my chest every chance he got. And it was all very strange. It's certainly not the first time he's come on to me, but it's the first time I took him seriously. Which continues to be mind-boggling. I didn't resist. I have no explanation.
I almost had a heart attack when I checked my email and there was a message from the fan club. But alas, it was just a Russian tourdate. Damn you, Russians.
You tell me you don't love me
Over a cup of coffee
And I just have to look away
A million miles between us
Planets crashing to dust
I just let it fade away
Made a necklace, which really isn't groundbreaking because I make new stuff everyday, but this one is for me. I really like it.
Endlessly She Said
Yeah. I'd make more crap that was different but no one would buy the shit, and then I'd be stuck with it. Or something. And I've had no success selling it online, probably because I should go ahead and finish my own jewelry site, but I'm just not inspired. And without photoshop. And well, I'm tired of paying ebay and etsy fees [no matter how miniscule they are]. No one buys the shit! Plus it's hard to stay away from ebay as it is. *drops to knees and shakes fist at the heavens* One of the many reasons I'm always dead broke.
Someone bought me a subscription on deviantart yesterday. I was supposed to help him with his journal css [and well, I was finished I just hadn't sent it to him yet], but someone did before me. So he bought me a 3 month subscription instead. Which rocks, I must admit. I'm not really sure why he felt the need, but I'm not questioning the decision. I didn't know what I was missing, and the servers are definitely faster for subscribed accounts. Yay for me?
Did I mention I have kittens? Well, I do. Maybe I'll explain later because I honestly don't feel like it. And I'll post pictures! But I have 3/6 names so far. Magdalena [Maggie, she answers to both], Vortigan, and Salvador [okay, I selfishly indulged in a famous person name for once, so sue me]. The other adult ones are Erebus, Belladonna [Bella], and Vervaine [Vaine, Vainey]. I like 'different' names.
Anyways, I think I was barking up the wrong tree. I understand that he was drunk and his home situation is not so great at the moment, but last night he said something to me that I was not expecting. I showed no sign of reaction, I didn't flinch a muscle and I kept on talking to Peter without missing a beat, but I heard. I heard what you said. And whether or not you even remember saying it today, or whether you meant it, it still cut me a little. It sliced me right there on my exposed heart. I'm not focusing on it or lingering on it in any way whatsoever, but I realized..something in that moment. The veil was pulled from over my eyes and I'm no longer pining away for you like some silly little girl. I would have done anything you asked, but I'm not going to waste any more energy on you. On the other hand, Peter caught me off guard [as he can so easily do]. I had on my pink fishnets and some cute little shoes with charms on them on. Flat shoes, low cut, you know all that shit that is popular at the moment. When Phil got up to get coffee, Peter said, "So, why don't you have your fuck me shoes on?" Now, you never know what's going to come out of his mouth, he's a very strange character. I thought I heard him wrong, so I replied, "Uhhh, what?" "Where's your boots or stilettos? Those would go better with those stockings. I'd go for it" Then he proceeds to say some other stuff, and stroke my leg. And stare at my chest every chance he got. And it was all very strange. It's certainly not the first time he's come on to me, but it's the first time I took him seriously. Which continues to be mind-boggling. I didn't resist. I have no explanation.
I almost had a heart attack when I checked my email and there was a message from the fan club. But alas, it was just a Russian tourdate. Damn you, Russians.
You tell me you don't love me
Over a cup of coffee
And I just have to look away
A million miles between us
Planets crashing to dust
I just let it fade away