Essay: Captain ZEX
Essaying on ZEX is the easiest thing for me to do, apparently. And Pell mentioned that she was interested.
This was Captain ZEX's first experience with humans on such an intimate level. I'm not just referring to his escapades with Ferdinand and Taiki--more on those later--but instead just seeing humans in person, and not through a dimmed viewscreen (Fact: VUX dim their viewscreens when they communicate with humanoid species so that they are not distracted by intense nausea.) Seeing humans, smelling them, feeling their skin and being able to watch them move... it was sensory overload at its most intense. ZEX's demeanor and, frankly, logical processes, suffered for it.
VUX expect certain things of their Captains, and really their citizens in general. Do not interact with the enemy more than absolutely necessary. Do not accept help from ANY non-VUX, as that shows weakness to the other species. Add insult to injury whenever possible. These are stupid rules, but they are VUX rules, and so ZEX did his best to keep to them. If interviewed by the High Council regarding his stay in Camp, he would be able to say--without lying--that he killed and/or maimed any human that approached him, he camped out alone, he ate only his own rations, and he kept interaction to an absolute minimum. He also vomited in disgust a few times, as is expected. Even if his commanding officers weren't actually able to witness these things, or would never know of his time here, his background and training had... well. You can call it "brainwashing" and that'd be pretty close to the truth, but I'd prefer to use "societal pressure" just because the VUX tend to turn everything up to eleven in terms of racism so Captain ZEX never thought of it that way. He acted how he was expected to act. He was the face of his entire species, here, as he was the only VUX present. He upheld VUX honor--he just went a little nuts doing it.
Up until Camp, Xaptain ZEX had tried to pass off his sexy dreams and thoughts about other species as symbolic. Maybe he just didn't like killing, he thought. Maybe he saw all soldiers as equals, forced to do what their political leaders want them to do. But due to this aforementioned sensory overload, he'd had to come to terms with his gigantic xenophilic boner alarmingly fast. That too kept him from putting his most professional foot forward. He kept trying to prove to himself that he wasn't actually attracted to humans--most notably, he tried to push himself too far with Ferdinand. He kissed Ferdinand--well, he tried, as VUX don't kiss--with the expectation that ZEX's body would revolt in disgust. Instead, he really, really liked it, and that terrified him.
If Ferdinand got to him physically, Taiki got to him emotionally. Taiki was patient, ever-present, and quietly mourning ZEX's pain, not just his own. He made it clear that ZEX is more than a sexual object to him; he loves ZEX. That is so boggling and unprecedented that ZEX was entirely at a loss, there. That someone would care for him--ZEX the person, not Captain ZEX, not the all-important War Hero--made ZEX feel... everything at once, as he said. Happy, confused, sad, frustrated, and not a little bit insane.
In conclusion, bt the end of Captain ZEX's time in Camp, he wanted to kill mindlessly, masturbate furiously, and have some introspective conversation with DAX.
Also: I cannot watch this without thinking of ZEX. This is pretty much Admiral ZEX in a nut casing.
This was Captain ZEX's first experience with humans on such an intimate level. I'm not just referring to his escapades with Ferdinand and Taiki--more on those later--but instead just seeing humans in person, and not through a dimmed viewscreen (Fact: VUX dim their viewscreens when they communicate with humanoid species so that they are not distracted by intense nausea.) Seeing humans, smelling them, feeling their skin and being able to watch them move... it was sensory overload at its most intense. ZEX's demeanor and, frankly, logical processes, suffered for it.
VUX expect certain things of their Captains, and really their citizens in general. Do not interact with the enemy more than absolutely necessary. Do not accept help from ANY non-VUX, as that shows weakness to the other species. Add insult to injury whenever possible. These are stupid rules, but they are VUX rules, and so ZEX did his best to keep to them. If interviewed by the High Council regarding his stay in Camp, he would be able to say--without lying--that he killed and/or maimed any human that approached him, he camped out alone, he ate only his own rations, and he kept interaction to an absolute minimum. He also vomited in disgust a few times, as is expected. Even if his commanding officers weren't actually able to witness these things, or would never know of his time here, his background and training had... well. You can call it "brainwashing" and that'd be pretty close to the truth, but I'd prefer to use "societal pressure" just because the VUX tend to turn everything up to eleven in terms of racism so Captain ZEX never thought of it that way. He acted how he was expected to act. He was the face of his entire species, here, as he was the only VUX present. He upheld VUX honor--he just went a little nuts doing it.
Up until Camp, Xaptain ZEX had tried to pass off his sexy dreams and thoughts about other species as symbolic. Maybe he just didn't like killing, he thought. Maybe he saw all soldiers as equals, forced to do what their political leaders want them to do. But due to this aforementioned sensory overload, he'd had to come to terms with his gigantic xenophilic boner alarmingly fast. That too kept him from putting his most professional foot forward. He kept trying to prove to himself that he wasn't actually attracted to humans--most notably, he tried to push himself too far with Ferdinand. He kissed Ferdinand--well, he tried, as VUX don't kiss--with the expectation that ZEX's body would revolt in disgust. Instead, he really, really liked it, and that terrified him.
If Ferdinand got to him physically, Taiki got to him emotionally. Taiki was patient, ever-present, and quietly mourning ZEX's pain, not just his own. He made it clear that ZEX is more than a sexual object to him; he loves ZEX. That is so boggling and unprecedented that ZEX was entirely at a loss, there. That someone would care for him--ZEX the person, not Captain ZEX, not the all-important War Hero--made ZEX feel... everything at once, as he said. Happy, confused, sad, frustrated, and not a little bit insane.
In conclusion, bt the end of Captain ZEX's time in Camp, he wanted to kill mindlessly, masturbate furiously, and have some introspective conversation with DAX.
Also: I cannot watch this without thinking of ZEX. This is pretty much Admiral ZEX in a nut casing.