Throw on Your Brake Lights, We're In the City of Wonder
It's been quite awhile since I updated, at least for most everyone to see. lol. Anyways.
First year of grad school.... interesting. All four of my classes are online, which is giving me quite the challenge. So far I'm doing okay. I'm really proud of myself, even though I'm a bit behind on some readings. I'll probably go do that in a bit, as I'm on duty tonight :( I've been trying to go up to campus to do work in the library so I at least feel part of the student body. lol. I'm an RM **resident mentor** in Cliff Apartments. It's going alright so far. I sort of feel a bit useless as an RM because all my "residents" are grad students, and so I don't really have much to do with them. They seem rather well adjusted and pretty much keep to themselves, no matter how friendly I try to be. Oh well. It's still fairly early in the year. I also work in the family/graduate housing office, which is literally right down the hall from my room. I work there about 14 hours a week. It's not awful, but it does make me miss the simplicity of the desk sometimes. lol.
There is something about this year that is different. I'm not sure if it's a good different or a bad different just yet though. I don't know that it really could be a bad different, but it is different. Our little SFGNC is all spread out, which is sad. We tend to hang out in pairs rather than in a group, like last year, but I think we are all really making the effort to not fall apart as friends. Having Avalon and Hanne over in Europe is tough as well, maybe more so for me, as Avalon and I are really close. And I finally heard from Hanne yesterday, so at least I know she's alive. lol. Avalon and I keep in touch in so many ways, it's rather ridiculous, but it's how we roll. One thing I do like about this year so far is that we go out a lot more. I've become a huge fan of PT's Cabaret, though Brad and I were basically victims of a hate crime there. Stupid, ignorant people. I'm enjoying 5 Points more and more and as more of my friends come of age, I foresee lots of fun nights there :)
The guy situation.... I don't know. I'm terrible at this. lol. Sometimes, I feel really confident about it, and then others, I'm like, no confidence at all and feel like a failure. Luke made it way too easy for me for so long, as far as being upfront about his feelings, so I missed out on vital years of learning to read guys. lol. I also refuse to be one of those girls that plays games, so I'm pretty sure my intentions have been made, as I've done just about everything but flat out say it. We'll see. I guess I'll keep everyone updated. lol. And who knows, I might meet some other guy. lol. Not that I will if I never get up to campus. Stupid online classes. haha.
Speaking of Luke, let's talk about karma. Yes, karma. It comes around, and considering everything that happened, someone is getting their karma right about now. And sure, there's that tiny, selfish part of me that is enjoying that immensely, but really, overall, I feel sorry for that someone. Of course, what they are feeling is minute compared to everything that happened with me, but it's still a feeling I wouldn't really wish on anyone, no matter what they did to me. And of course, the other person has recovered it seems, and is at least being honest with himself. That's a plus, and dare I say it, a little bit of growth on his part. lol. He texted me last night, and then proceeded to call me, which caught me off guard at first, only because I was in the middle of a text, but then it went very well. It was very reminiscent of sophomore year of high school - two friends talking about anything and everything. That's what I've missed, and it was nice to have it back for thirty minutes. Of course, I'm leaving the ball in his court. I know I can be a good friend, but I want to be good friends with people who are willing to put forth an effort to be a friend to me. I've put forth the effort before, so now it's his turn. Plus, I have a life without him that is absolutely fantastic, so really, anything from him is sort of like an added life bonus in a video game when you don't really need one - it's just nice to have.
I started tutoring again... always a joy. I work with this really great guy on the basketball team. I think we'll get along really well. They've really come a long way with this whole tutoring thing and I like where it's going. The athletes are the focus now, rather than just trying to get the program in motion. And of course, it's ten bucks an hour for me, so that plus my hours in the office and my RM salary.... I'll hopefully be getting to save some money.
And the reason for needing to save money? So many. lol. White Christmas is going to be doing a limited engagement in NYC November 23 to January 4... and I'm dying to go. Not just because it's White Christmas and one of my all time favorite musicals, but because I need to be back in the city. **more on that in a bit** Then, I think I'm leaning towards going back to New York for spring break. There's just so much I didn't do when I was there, and Brad and Holly want to go too. Katie has family in NJ, so we could stay there, take a cheap/sketchy bus and have a grand old time. And again... I need the city. And again, then.... I want to try and go to Europe to see Avalon, and that takes a bajillion and one dollars.... no clue how I'm going to figure that one out. Hopefully soon enough. lol. I'm also supposed to go with Kyle back to Orlando to see Allegra at Disney World while she still works there. She's working on getting us a half off night in the Grand Floridian, which is like a dream come true. lol. We'll see what happens. So much I want to do, and not enough money for me to do it. Good thing being a librarian pays so well....
Okay... two more topics and then I'll get off my soapbox. Here goes. I need the city. Emphasis on "need". I realized it when Brad and I went to Charlotte this weekend.... the city is the place for me, and specifically, New York City. Everything and anything I could ever want is there. I think subconsciously I've made the decision to live there for quite a bit, but I haven't been able to figure out how to tell my mom this. I know she won't like it, but it's what I want. I've got to start going after what I want, but I want to do it in a way that doesn't make me seem completely selfish. I am supposed to come back to SC and teach for four years, or work in a library, to pay off Teaching Fellows. That's the smart thing to do, and really, the best option. Once I pay off the four years, I am home free and can be in NYC for however long I feel like it. Of course, ideally, I'd love to go there to get my PhD and then just stay.... forever. We'll see. I just know, there is something about that city that does something to me. The feeling I get being there... I don't get that anywhere else, and that's saying something, considering my feelings towards Disney. lol. Ugh. I hate big decisions. lol. Why can't I just be an island?? Oh John Donne and the O.
Finally, probably the sweetest thing ever. My uncle had this Erte painting - an original, signed and with 24K gold around it. It was of Aladdin and his bride and it was one of his prized possessions. It was always the first thing up in his new apartments/houses and one of my favorite things growing up. I would stare at it for hours when we would visit him. After he died, I was curious as to who would get the painting, and where it would go. Well, somehow, my aunt ended up with it, and she doesn't really know what it is. She knows it's fairly expensive, but was just being selfish in keeping it. It doesn't match her decor, and she knew that my grandmother or my family would have loved to have it. She just keeps it stored away somewhere random. So anyways.... Mom was talking to me tonight, about whether or not we should go see White Christmas because she had this great graduation gift in mind for me that was incredibly sentimental, but had to be bought by spring. I was of course confused, but didn't want her to tell me, for the element of surprise and whatnot. Well, she finally decided to tell me. Basically, we had been talking about that painting a couple weeks ago, and I mentioned how important to me it was. I didn't like that Carol was just keeping it to herself and was probably going to sell it. It's not hers to sell at all **I don't really feel like anything of my uncle's is hers to decide to sell or not** Mom said that she had called Carol and offered to buy the painting from her, because Carol was talking about selling it soon. Carol told Mom that if she bought her a horse, we could have the painting. When Mom told me this, I just about broke down. That painting is so incredibly important to me, and so sentimental. And what Mom was doing was very similar to what Uncle Charles used to do... you'd mention something once and he'd remember and then surprise you with an amazing gift for your birthday or Christmas... I'm really just speechless about the whole thing **though it doesn't appear from this lengthy paragraph** lol. I really do think I would forfeit White Christmas for this painting. It's that important. I'm so excited, and I really do hope Mom finds a horse for Carol.
Okay. Random ramblings and then I'm off to do a round. I'm stuck on duty until Monday morning.... No idea how that happened, but I'm not looking forward to it at all. I'm stuck in this building too much already. My soulmate is coming to visit on Friday, so that's exciting. Hanne might come to visit in early 2009, so that rocks my socks. I've been flipping channels - John and Kate +8 = worst show ever. Kate is a bitch and treats John like he's an idiot. I saw the episode where they were doing various moments in the show - and he brought up the ice cream thing and she sat there and railed on him and was just a complete bitch. I don't know how people call that show cute. Bleck. lol. Granted, I'm sure I like certain shows that people would say the same thing, but still. I tried to see what everyone else saw, and just can't. My diet is going really well... I look pretty darn amazing. lol. **at least I've been told** and I'm trying to keep it up for a bit longer. I need to get to the gym... which reminds me to call Holly and see if she wants to go in the am. One Tree Hill started and I was so excited Lucas called Peyton. It's stuff like that that just makes me smile at romance. lol. What else.... Heroes and The Office start soon. I can't wait! Katie leaves for Ireland in like 8 days, which is sad. I shall miss her greatly. Football season is shaping up to be an amazing one. That's it for now I think.... my elbows hurt from typing for so long.
First year of grad school.... interesting. All four of my classes are online, which is giving me quite the challenge. So far I'm doing okay. I'm really proud of myself, even though I'm a bit behind on some readings. I'll probably go do that in a bit, as I'm on duty tonight :( I've been trying to go up to campus to do work in the library so I at least feel part of the student body. lol. I'm an RM **resident mentor** in Cliff Apartments. It's going alright so far. I sort of feel a bit useless as an RM because all my "residents" are grad students, and so I don't really have much to do with them. They seem rather well adjusted and pretty much keep to themselves, no matter how friendly I try to be. Oh well. It's still fairly early in the year. I also work in the family/graduate housing office, which is literally right down the hall from my room. I work there about 14 hours a week. It's not awful, but it does make me miss the simplicity of the desk sometimes. lol.
There is something about this year that is different. I'm not sure if it's a good different or a bad different just yet though. I don't know that it really could be a bad different, but it is different. Our little SFGNC is all spread out, which is sad. We tend to hang out in pairs rather than in a group, like last year, but I think we are all really making the effort to not fall apart as friends. Having Avalon and Hanne over in Europe is tough as well, maybe more so for me, as Avalon and I are really close. And I finally heard from Hanne yesterday, so at least I know she's alive. lol. Avalon and I keep in touch in so many ways, it's rather ridiculous, but it's how we roll. One thing I do like about this year so far is that we go out a lot more. I've become a huge fan of PT's Cabaret, though Brad and I were basically victims of a hate crime there. Stupid, ignorant people. I'm enjoying 5 Points more and more and as more of my friends come of age, I foresee lots of fun nights there :)
The guy situation.... I don't know. I'm terrible at this. lol. Sometimes, I feel really confident about it, and then others, I'm like, no confidence at all and feel like a failure. Luke made it way too easy for me for so long, as far as being upfront about his feelings, so I missed out on vital years of learning to read guys. lol. I also refuse to be one of those girls that plays games, so I'm pretty sure my intentions have been made, as I've done just about everything but flat out say it. We'll see. I guess I'll keep everyone updated. lol. And who knows, I might meet some other guy. lol. Not that I will if I never get up to campus. Stupid online classes. haha.
Speaking of Luke, let's talk about karma. Yes, karma. It comes around, and considering everything that happened, someone is getting their karma right about now. And sure, there's that tiny, selfish part of me that is enjoying that immensely, but really, overall, I feel sorry for that someone. Of course, what they are feeling is minute compared to everything that happened with me, but it's still a feeling I wouldn't really wish on anyone, no matter what they did to me. And of course, the other person has recovered it seems, and is at least being honest with himself. That's a plus, and dare I say it, a little bit of growth on his part. lol. He texted me last night, and then proceeded to call me, which caught me off guard at first, only because I was in the middle of a text, but then it went very well. It was very reminiscent of sophomore year of high school - two friends talking about anything and everything. That's what I've missed, and it was nice to have it back for thirty minutes. Of course, I'm leaving the ball in his court. I know I can be a good friend, but I want to be good friends with people who are willing to put forth an effort to be a friend to me. I've put forth the effort before, so now it's his turn. Plus, I have a life without him that is absolutely fantastic, so really, anything from him is sort of like an added life bonus in a video game when you don't really need one - it's just nice to have.
I started tutoring again... always a joy. I work with this really great guy on the basketball team. I think we'll get along really well. They've really come a long way with this whole tutoring thing and I like where it's going. The athletes are the focus now, rather than just trying to get the program in motion. And of course, it's ten bucks an hour for me, so that plus my hours in the office and my RM salary.... I'll hopefully be getting to save some money.
And the reason for needing to save money? So many. lol. White Christmas is going to be doing a limited engagement in NYC November 23 to January 4... and I'm dying to go. Not just because it's White Christmas and one of my all time favorite musicals, but because I need to be back in the city. **more on that in a bit** Then, I think I'm leaning towards going back to New York for spring break. There's just so much I didn't do when I was there, and Brad and Holly want to go too. Katie has family in NJ, so we could stay there, take a cheap/sketchy bus and have a grand old time. And again... I need the city. And again, then.... I want to try and go to Europe to see Avalon, and that takes a bajillion and one dollars.... no clue how I'm going to figure that one out. Hopefully soon enough. lol. I'm also supposed to go with Kyle back to Orlando to see Allegra at Disney World while she still works there. She's working on getting us a half off night in the Grand Floridian, which is like a dream come true. lol. We'll see what happens. So much I want to do, and not enough money for me to do it. Good thing being a librarian pays so well....
Okay... two more topics and then I'll get off my soapbox. Here goes. I need the city. Emphasis on "need". I realized it when Brad and I went to Charlotte this weekend.... the city is the place for me, and specifically, New York City. Everything and anything I could ever want is there. I think subconsciously I've made the decision to live there for quite a bit, but I haven't been able to figure out how to tell my mom this. I know she won't like it, but it's what I want. I've got to start going after what I want, but I want to do it in a way that doesn't make me seem completely selfish. I am supposed to come back to SC and teach for four years, or work in a library, to pay off Teaching Fellows. That's the smart thing to do, and really, the best option. Once I pay off the four years, I am home free and can be in NYC for however long I feel like it. Of course, ideally, I'd love to go there to get my PhD and then just stay.... forever. We'll see. I just know, there is something about that city that does something to me. The feeling I get being there... I don't get that anywhere else, and that's saying something, considering my feelings towards Disney. lol. Ugh. I hate big decisions. lol. Why can't I just be an island?? Oh John Donne and the O.
Finally, probably the sweetest thing ever. My uncle had this Erte painting - an original, signed and with 24K gold around it. It was of Aladdin and his bride and it was one of his prized possessions. It was always the first thing up in his new apartments/houses and one of my favorite things growing up. I would stare at it for hours when we would visit him. After he died, I was curious as to who would get the painting, and where it would go. Well, somehow, my aunt ended up with it, and she doesn't really know what it is. She knows it's fairly expensive, but was just being selfish in keeping it. It doesn't match her decor, and she knew that my grandmother or my family would have loved to have it. She just keeps it stored away somewhere random. So anyways.... Mom was talking to me tonight, about whether or not we should go see White Christmas because she had this great graduation gift in mind for me that was incredibly sentimental, but had to be bought by spring. I was of course confused, but didn't want her to tell me, for the element of surprise and whatnot. Well, she finally decided to tell me. Basically, we had been talking about that painting a couple weeks ago, and I mentioned how important to me it was. I didn't like that Carol was just keeping it to herself and was probably going to sell it. It's not hers to sell at all **I don't really feel like anything of my uncle's is hers to decide to sell or not** Mom said that she had called Carol and offered to buy the painting from her, because Carol was talking about selling it soon. Carol told Mom that if she bought her a horse, we could have the painting. When Mom told me this, I just about broke down. That painting is so incredibly important to me, and so sentimental. And what Mom was doing was very similar to what Uncle Charles used to do... you'd mention something once and he'd remember and then surprise you with an amazing gift for your birthday or Christmas... I'm really just speechless about the whole thing **though it doesn't appear from this lengthy paragraph** lol. I really do think I would forfeit White Christmas for this painting. It's that important. I'm so excited, and I really do hope Mom finds a horse for Carol.
Okay. Random ramblings and then I'm off to do a round. I'm stuck on duty until Monday morning.... No idea how that happened, but I'm not looking forward to it at all. I'm stuck in this building too much already. My soulmate is coming to visit on Friday, so that's exciting. Hanne might come to visit in early 2009, so that rocks my socks. I've been flipping channels - John and Kate +8 = worst show ever. Kate is a bitch and treats John like he's an idiot. I saw the episode where they were doing various moments in the show - and he brought up the ice cream thing and she sat there and railed on him and was just a complete bitch. I don't know how people call that show cute. Bleck. lol. Granted, I'm sure I like certain shows that people would say the same thing, but still. I tried to see what everyone else saw, and just can't. My diet is going really well... I look pretty darn amazing. lol. **at least I've been told** and I'm trying to keep it up for a bit longer. I need to get to the gym... which reminds me to call Holly and see if she wants to go in the am. One Tree Hill started and I was so excited Lucas called Peyton. It's stuff like that that just makes me smile at romance. lol. What else.... Heroes and The Office start soon. I can't wait! Katie leaves for Ireland in like 8 days, which is sad. I shall miss her greatly. Football season is shaping up to be an amazing one. That's it for now I think.... my elbows hurt from typing for so long.