[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Part 79, 80, 81, 82 / 82
Series: Inevitable
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28328
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
Side Notes: THIS IS IT. :D This is the end of Inevitable.
"Please..." the word drops from quivering lips in scarcely a whimper, and it takes Hyde a moment to realise what Gackt's begging for. He stands trapped for an instant more as a fine tremor goes through Gackt's fragile body, and when the younger man whispers it again, the word so clearly desperate, Hyde just shuts down, giving into base instinct and taking one last look at Gackt before he flees.
Charging out of the hospital room he nearly knocks down two nurses in his flight, blowing past Dr. Tanaka and You before racing to the stairwell. He can't wait for the elevator. He's choking for air as he was hours ago, his heart somehow burning in his chest, and all he can think of is the need Gackt had shown towards him when he had woken up the first time, and now the fear that is all Gackt has left to hold onto.
He doesn't have a place left in Gackt's life anymore. All he can do is hope that by backing away he will allow Gackt to heal and live normally, to live as a human would.
Without a monster by his side. That's all Hyde knows he is, a monster, and as he makes it through the hospital doors and onto the street, he can't even stomach the thought of going back to his wife and child, and all he knows is that he wants to get away, needs to get away. It's not his style to simply disappear but this time he needs to, and like everything else in these past few hellish days it's selfish, entirely selfish, but it's necessary.
His mind is still racing as he begins walking, going somewhere that is in the general direction of home because something in him knows that if he's going to go anywhere, there are things he will need and they're all there.
No one is home when he arrives. It seems he just missed Megumi leaving with their son for the weekly visit to her parents. Part of him - his human half - cries for the loss chance of comfort but Hyde brutally shoves that thought away as soon as it enters his mind. He can't call himself a human, he never was. It was all some desperate attempt, some feeble lie so he could pretend that he was normal, that he could live without the beast possessing his every move.
But it's always been there, he thinks bitterly, blinking through his tears as he heads into his bedroom and yanks out a duffle bag. He has never been normal, never been human when that monster existed. That's who he is and if he doesn't accept that now, who else will he hurt? Who else will he punish? Numbly, he stuffs a few shirts and pants, ignoring every item he has worked hard in this life to possess. Monsters don't live that kind of lifestyle. What was he thinking?
With numbness the only thing propelling him forward, he moves quickly just to escape the stifling mockery of this place, of what he thought he earned and deserved after so many years...he grabs keys, his wallet, even a bottle of vodka - whatever else that happens to attract his panicked mind and he leaves without even looking back. He doesn't know when he'll come back, if he'll come back...his heart shudders off its numb shield just to wail in protest but then he has to crush that thought, to kill it, otherwise everything will be undone. And what then?
He steps out and makes a beeline for his car, his unnatural speed helping him find his sweet escape. He doesn't know where he'll end up but he might have a start.
He doesn't let himself think of Megumi, of his son, of L'Arc, of Kaz. He doesn't let himself think of Gackt. He can't.
Turning the key in the ignition, he hears the engine come to life, a low purr that fills his ears as he lets familiar numbness slowly settle over his heart, his mind. There's no thought involved as he turns out onto the street, going to wherever isn't here. He doesn't know where he'll go but it has to be away, far away enough that he won't come back until he absolutely has to. He doesn't think about the consequences, and for once he's grateful for the reminder of his inhumanity as it whispers things meant to make him want to flee, the animal instinct of fight or flight kicking in.
There's no fight involved though; he goes willingly. Turning onto the highway, Hyde bites his lower lip, taking the western route - it doesn't matter where he ends up, just that he's not where he can hurt anyone anymore.
That's more than enough.
Hours later, he leaves the car next to the edge of some forest - that's as far as it can carry him. After sifting through the duffle bag, he decides to leave it behind and only grabs an extra pair of clothes, even though he knows there's probably no point. Who knows what the forest brings, the life he's meant to live...he can't quite remember how he survived when he was cursed (damned for eternity) but if there's only thing he has absolute faith in, it's that the monster knows how to survive. It's entrenched so deeply, it's the simplest knowledge that thing can have.
Monster. Thing. He is treating them as if they are separate entities from himself when they are one and the same. He will have to work on that; it shouldn't be hard.
He makes sure to lock his things in the trunk and then he is off, entering a place that will let him be. That will harm no one. Already, the monster...he, he is stirring, tingling with the knowledge that he will be free of society's chains, free of the spectacular illusion he built for himself, free of complex emotions that bound him to his life. What he is has no society and there are no illusions or emotional turmoil because there is no need for lies.
It's simple. It's primal. It's natural.
His feet stop at the base of a tall, grand tree, magnificent in its twisted bark and elegant branches. He follows its solid form up, up, up to where he glimpses a peek of blue sky, where that world is. He can't say what will happen or how long he will be here, lost in his true identity. So he drowns himself in everything that's happened. For a second, the guilt roars, the pain burns, the agony rages. That so-called life he has established for himself rears its sophisticated, complicated, ugly head as it smothers him while screaming for his death and eternal suffering for what he has done.
Then the wind blows, the blue sky hidden as the leaves sway with the wind's beat. The last connection to that life breaks into pieces, leaving the opportunity for repair open. But for now, he will ignore it. He bows his head, bends his knees, and then he's off, a snarl pouring out from his lips as he dives head first into nature.
This is where he's meant to be.
And that's the end~
Thoughts?
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28328
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
Side Notes: THIS IS IT. :D This is the end of Inevitable.
"Please..." the word drops from quivering lips in scarcely a whimper, and it takes Hyde a moment to realise what Gackt's begging for. He stands trapped for an instant more as a fine tremor goes through Gackt's fragile body, and when the younger man whispers it again, the word so clearly desperate, Hyde just shuts down, giving into base instinct and taking one last look at Gackt before he flees.
Charging out of the hospital room he nearly knocks down two nurses in his flight, blowing past Dr. Tanaka and You before racing to the stairwell. He can't wait for the elevator. He's choking for air as he was hours ago, his heart somehow burning in his chest, and all he can think of is the need Gackt had shown towards him when he had woken up the first time, and now the fear that is all Gackt has left to hold onto.
He doesn't have a place left in Gackt's life anymore. All he can do is hope that by backing away he will allow Gackt to heal and live normally, to live as a human would.
Without a monster by his side. That's all Hyde knows he is, a monster, and as he makes it through the hospital doors and onto the street, he can't even stomach the thought of going back to his wife and child, and all he knows is that he wants to get away, needs to get away. It's not his style to simply disappear but this time he needs to, and like everything else in these past few hellish days it's selfish, entirely selfish, but it's necessary.
His mind is still racing as he begins walking, going somewhere that is in the general direction of home because something in him knows that if he's going to go anywhere, there are things he will need and they're all there.
No one is home when he arrives. It seems he just missed Megumi leaving with their son for the weekly visit to her parents. Part of him - his human half - cries for the loss chance of comfort but Hyde brutally shoves that thought away as soon as it enters his mind. He can't call himself a human, he never was. It was all some desperate attempt, some feeble lie so he could pretend that he was normal, that he could live without the beast possessing his every move.
But it's always been there, he thinks bitterly, blinking through his tears as he heads into his bedroom and yanks out a duffle bag. He has never been normal, never been human when that monster existed. That's who he is and if he doesn't accept that now, who else will he hurt? Who else will he punish? Numbly, he stuffs a few shirts and pants, ignoring every item he has worked hard in this life to possess. Monsters don't live that kind of lifestyle. What was he thinking?
With numbness the only thing propelling him forward, he moves quickly just to escape the stifling mockery of this place, of what he thought he earned and deserved after so many years...he grabs keys, his wallet, even a bottle of vodka - whatever else that happens to attract his panicked mind and he leaves without even looking back. He doesn't know when he'll come back, if he'll come back...his heart shudders off its numb shield just to wail in protest but then he has to crush that thought, to kill it, otherwise everything will be undone. And what then?
He steps out and makes a beeline for his car, his unnatural speed helping him find his sweet escape. He doesn't know where he'll end up but he might have a start.
He doesn't let himself think of Megumi, of his son, of L'Arc, of Kaz. He doesn't let himself think of Gackt. He can't.
Turning the key in the ignition, he hears the engine come to life, a low purr that fills his ears as he lets familiar numbness slowly settle over his heart, his mind. There's no thought involved as he turns out onto the street, going to wherever isn't here. He doesn't know where he'll go but it has to be away, far away enough that he won't come back until he absolutely has to. He doesn't think about the consequences, and for once he's grateful for the reminder of his inhumanity as it whispers things meant to make him want to flee, the animal instinct of fight or flight kicking in.
There's no fight involved though; he goes willingly. Turning onto the highway, Hyde bites his lower lip, taking the western route - it doesn't matter where he ends up, just that he's not where he can hurt anyone anymore.
That's more than enough.
Hours later, he leaves the car next to the edge of some forest - that's as far as it can carry him. After sifting through the duffle bag, he decides to leave it behind and only grabs an extra pair of clothes, even though he knows there's probably no point. Who knows what the forest brings, the life he's meant to live...he can't quite remember how he survived when he was cursed (damned for eternity) but if there's only thing he has absolute faith in, it's that the monster knows how to survive. It's entrenched so deeply, it's the simplest knowledge that thing can have.
Monster. Thing. He is treating them as if they are separate entities from himself when they are one and the same. He will have to work on that; it shouldn't be hard.
He makes sure to lock his things in the trunk and then he is off, entering a place that will let him be. That will harm no one. Already, the monster...he, he is stirring, tingling with the knowledge that he will be free of society's chains, free of the spectacular illusion he built for himself, free of complex emotions that bound him to his life. What he is has no society and there are no illusions or emotional turmoil because there is no need for lies.
It's simple. It's primal. It's natural.
His feet stop at the base of a tall, grand tree, magnificent in its twisted bark and elegant branches. He follows its solid form up, up, up to where he glimpses a peek of blue sky, where that world is. He can't say what will happen or how long he will be here, lost in his true identity. So he drowns himself in everything that's happened. For a second, the guilt roars, the pain burns, the agony rages. That so-called life he has established for himself rears its sophisticated, complicated, ugly head as it smothers him while screaming for his death and eternal suffering for what he has done.
Then the wind blows, the blue sky hidden as the leaves sway with the wind's beat. The last connection to that life breaks into pieces, leaving the opportunity for repair open. But for now, he will ignore it. He bows his head, bends his knees, and then he's off, a snarl pouring out from his lips as he dives head first into nature.
This is where he's meant to be.
And that's the end~
Thoughts?