[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Part 68, 69, 70 / 82
Series: Inevitable
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28324
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
"Please," he whispers, one more time. He's afraid to raise his voice, afraid that it might crack and then everything would be over, utterly destroying the fracturing control he still has. "There's still a chance..."
You doesn't say anything at all, his eyes lingering on the floor. Hyde can sense the utter defeat in You's heart as the violinist shuffles back to the wall, leaning on it as though it's the only thing between him and collapse. He raises a hand to his face, covering it for a moment as if by blocking out the sight in front of him, he can make it so it never happened.
"Please, You..."
Hyde hears You's heartbeat hasten as the taller man breathes deeply, not listening to words but to what his own heart tells him, smells the acrid scent of bitter tears as the violinist slowly resigns himself to what he thinks is right. Hyde knows You blames himself for this, blames himself for Gackt's decline but he can't reassure the violinist, can't tell him that everything might be alright because that means admitting that he has already tainted Gackt with his own blood, has caused his lover's condition to begin with...
"He's dying, Hideto," You says suddenly, breaking into Hyde's thoughts. His voice is strained and he keeps his face half-covered, hiding himself from the world and blocking out everything else. "He's only... suffering more this way." His tone sounds constricted, as constricted as Hyde's throat suddenly feels and then his body seems to go numb, his mind blanking out as cold, painful reality washes over him and he knows what You will decide, what You will tell the doctors next time one of them enters...
He can't breathe.
He can't seem to take in air, not to speak in Gackt's defence, not to speak to beg his lover's best friend for just a little longer, just a little more time...
Hyde's hands curl into fists and he can feel the monster rising dangerously close to the surface as he silently panics, body stock-still as his eyes widen, fingernails grinding into his palms hard enough to draw blood as he fights for control. A tiny gasp escapes him and sweet air flows into his lungs, but it just reminds him of death and how it's hanging over them, holding Gackt in a tighter and tighter grip as time goes on...
I can't let go I can't let go I can't let him go
"Please," he tries one more time, his voice almost completely gone as he tries to think faster than his mind can process, tries to think about how to get Gackt out of this because in the end it's his fault and if Gackt dies he doesn't know what he'll do...
You lowers his hands. Tears have already fallen, making their way down his cheeks but his gaze doesn't move from Hyde's face. Amongst the guilt, the pain, the loss, there is an unwavering apology. A death sentence.
"I'm going to find the doctor," he states softly, "I'm so sorry." He gives Hyde the loneliest look of despair before he leaves the room.
Completely rooted to the ground, the world around Hyde fades into a blinding, white light. The earlier numbness swells suddenly before it bursts and he is drowning in a stormy rush of panicangergriefrage. Both human and monster are swept up in this tide, kicking and screaming. This can't be the end, this can't be it, he cannot let Gackt die and he cries out in a piercing, anguished gasp/sob when his nails suddenly slice through his palm, burrowing deeply in his skin. Choking on his misery, he stares at the small streams of blood coming from the small, neat slices but it's already healing.
The monster is healing.
The victim is dying.
What kind of justice is this? Slowly, he looks to Gackt, seeing his chest move up and down, the machines beeping in harmony, signalling life; beautiful, sweet life.
You wants to take that away, his voice hisses, poisonous. Traitor. Hyde shakes his head as he grasps that last fledging line for control. He can't lose that, it's all he has left to survive -
He's dying. You's voice echoes in his head.
No, he's not. I'm right, I have to be right, I have to be. He stumbles towards Gackt, grabbing his cool hand as soon as it's in his reach. He brings it to his lips and closes his eyes, focusing on the pulse he can hear and ignoring the presence of death looming closer and closer. That pulse is real, it is right there and Hyde will do anything to make sure it stays there.
"Wake up, wake up, please, Gackt... Gacchan. Please," he begs into Gackt's skin, not even bothering to blink hot tears. He doesn't care about looking desperate, begging a tortured soul to hang on for just a little longer. He just needs to see Gackt move, to meet his eyes as they look at him, to see him live.
His mind races with possibilities but it all amounts to more blood or turning Gackt. The last choice, he doesn't even consider so he raises his wrist to his mouth, keeping his other hand wound around Gackt's because he won't let him go.
The consequences don't matter anymore. He's facing cold, heartless death in one hand, life on the other. There's no thought involved as he feels his fangs push downward. There's no time to think.
Hyde winces as his fangs pierce his wrist, breaking through the vein as blood spills into his mouth. Swallowing quickly, he presses his bloodied wrist to Gackt's lips, praying that he'll drink, praying that he'll wake up in time... He has only moments before You returns, and he doesn't know what he'll resort to if the doctor agrees - and he knows he will.
Squeezing Gackt's hand, he shifts his wrist against cracked, dry lips until they part, and he can hear the wet splash of blood against his lover's tongue, sickening and delicious as he listens. For a moment, the smell of death recedes, covered by blood, but as he forces himself to breathe evenly, his hand still tightly grasping Gackt's, he knows that if this doesn't work, it's only a matter of time.
Only a matter of minutes.
Footsteps sound down the hallway and Hyde tenses, hoping beyond hope that it isn't You, that something right will happen to balance out everything that's gone wrong, but he scarcely dares to let himself relax, especially when he hears the doctor - Doctor Tanaka, wasn't it? - speaking from the same direction.
"God, please," he chokes, tears still dripping down his face as he flexes his fingers above Gackt, forcing blood to fall faster from his wrist. It smears along his lover's lips and even his cheek, but he knows that most of it is going where it needs to, despite the shaking that suddenly overtakes his body. You know you could fix this, his monster whispers in the back of his mind, and Hyde's almost afraid of how close he is to listening because Gackt's not waking up, he's not improving, and even if he does, it won't be in time -
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28324
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
"Please," he whispers, one more time. He's afraid to raise his voice, afraid that it might crack and then everything would be over, utterly destroying the fracturing control he still has. "There's still a chance..."
You doesn't say anything at all, his eyes lingering on the floor. Hyde can sense the utter defeat in You's heart as the violinist shuffles back to the wall, leaning on it as though it's the only thing between him and collapse. He raises a hand to his face, covering it for a moment as if by blocking out the sight in front of him, he can make it so it never happened.
"Please, You..."
Hyde hears You's heartbeat hasten as the taller man breathes deeply, not listening to words but to what his own heart tells him, smells the acrid scent of bitter tears as the violinist slowly resigns himself to what he thinks is right. Hyde knows You blames himself for this, blames himself for Gackt's decline but he can't reassure the violinist, can't tell him that everything might be alright because that means admitting that he has already tainted Gackt with his own blood, has caused his lover's condition to begin with...
"He's dying, Hideto," You says suddenly, breaking into Hyde's thoughts. His voice is strained and he keeps his face half-covered, hiding himself from the world and blocking out everything else. "He's only... suffering more this way." His tone sounds constricted, as constricted as Hyde's throat suddenly feels and then his body seems to go numb, his mind blanking out as cold, painful reality washes over him and he knows what You will decide, what You will tell the doctors next time one of them enters...
He can't breathe.
He can't seem to take in air, not to speak in Gackt's defence, not to speak to beg his lover's best friend for just a little longer, just a little more time...
Hyde's hands curl into fists and he can feel the monster rising dangerously close to the surface as he silently panics, body stock-still as his eyes widen, fingernails grinding into his palms hard enough to draw blood as he fights for control. A tiny gasp escapes him and sweet air flows into his lungs, but it just reminds him of death and how it's hanging over them, holding Gackt in a tighter and tighter grip as time goes on...
I can't let go I can't let go I can't let him go
"Please," he tries one more time, his voice almost completely gone as he tries to think faster than his mind can process, tries to think about how to get Gackt out of this because in the end it's his fault and if Gackt dies he doesn't know what he'll do...
You lowers his hands. Tears have already fallen, making their way down his cheeks but his gaze doesn't move from Hyde's face. Amongst the guilt, the pain, the loss, there is an unwavering apology. A death sentence.
"I'm going to find the doctor," he states softly, "I'm so sorry." He gives Hyde the loneliest look of despair before he leaves the room.
Completely rooted to the ground, the world around Hyde fades into a blinding, white light. The earlier numbness swells suddenly before it bursts and he is drowning in a stormy rush of panicangergriefrage. Both human and monster are swept up in this tide, kicking and screaming. This can't be the end, this can't be it, he cannot let Gackt die and he cries out in a piercing, anguished gasp/sob when his nails suddenly slice through his palm, burrowing deeply in his skin. Choking on his misery, he stares at the small streams of blood coming from the small, neat slices but it's already healing.
The monster is healing.
The victim is dying.
What kind of justice is this? Slowly, he looks to Gackt, seeing his chest move up and down, the machines beeping in harmony, signalling life; beautiful, sweet life.
You wants to take that away, his voice hisses, poisonous. Traitor. Hyde shakes his head as he grasps that last fledging line for control. He can't lose that, it's all he has left to survive -
He's dying. You's voice echoes in his head.
No, he's not. I'm right, I have to be right, I have to be. He stumbles towards Gackt, grabbing his cool hand as soon as it's in his reach. He brings it to his lips and closes his eyes, focusing on the pulse he can hear and ignoring the presence of death looming closer and closer. That pulse is real, it is right there and Hyde will do anything to make sure it stays there.
"Wake up, wake up, please, Gackt... Gacchan. Please," he begs into Gackt's skin, not even bothering to blink hot tears. He doesn't care about looking desperate, begging a tortured soul to hang on for just a little longer. He just needs to see Gackt move, to meet his eyes as they look at him, to see him live.
His mind races with possibilities but it all amounts to more blood or turning Gackt. The last choice, he doesn't even consider so he raises his wrist to his mouth, keeping his other hand wound around Gackt's because he won't let him go.
The consequences don't matter anymore. He's facing cold, heartless death in one hand, life on the other. There's no thought involved as he feels his fangs push downward. There's no time to think.
Hyde winces as his fangs pierce his wrist, breaking through the vein as blood spills into his mouth. Swallowing quickly, he presses his bloodied wrist to Gackt's lips, praying that he'll drink, praying that he'll wake up in time... He has only moments before You returns, and he doesn't know what he'll resort to if the doctor agrees - and he knows he will.
Squeezing Gackt's hand, he shifts his wrist against cracked, dry lips until they part, and he can hear the wet splash of blood against his lover's tongue, sickening and delicious as he listens. For a moment, the smell of death recedes, covered by blood, but as he forces himself to breathe evenly, his hand still tightly grasping Gackt's, he knows that if this doesn't work, it's only a matter of time.
Only a matter of minutes.
Footsteps sound down the hallway and Hyde tenses, hoping beyond hope that it isn't You, that something right will happen to balance out everything that's gone wrong, but he scarcely dares to let himself relax, especially when he hears the doctor - Doctor Tanaka, wasn't it? - speaking from the same direction.
"God, please," he chokes, tears still dripping down his face as he flexes his fingers above Gackt, forcing blood to fall faster from his wrist. It smears along his lover's lips and even his cheek, but he knows that most of it is going where it needs to, despite the shaking that suddenly overtakes his body. You know you could fix this, his monster whispers in the back of his mind, and Hyde's almost afraid of how close he is to listening because Gackt's not waking up, he's not improving, and even if he does, it won't be in time -