[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Chapter 2 [Monster]
Series: Inevitable [2/?]
Title: Monster
Author: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count: 3768
Fandom: J-Rock
Character/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is being revealed one part at a time because, as an oddly-written RP [rather than each writer choosing a character we wrote it as a traditional story], that was how it was written and I thought it would be better posted in that format. This is the sum of the parts that make up the second chapter [8-20].
"Hyde!" Gackt's first cry shatters his heart as he hears the man running over to him, feels the ground shaking beneath him with the frantic footfalls. He's not even breathing - it's not necessary, but it's something he's never quite been able to stop doing and he lets his eyes fall closed as he feels warm hands on his arms, turning him over but he refuses to look, can't think, can't let himself open his eyes even a fraction of a millimetre because to do so might expose this ill-conceived ruse of his and he can't let that happen...
"No." Gackt's voice cuts into his thought process and Hyde swears his dead, unbeating heart is bleeding when he hears the way his lover's voice just cracks and how he continues to whisper it before he regains his voice. "No... no, no, no, no, you're not dead, you can't be dead, Hideto..." His voice is pleading now, full of fear and insecurity and so many other things Hyde can't let himself think about, because if he does it's all over, and he won't be able to stop himself from going after the draw of death and gore and blood, all the things the part of Hyde that is not Hyde wants. He feels his fangs against his lips, and he stays concentrated on that as Gackt breaks down above him, his body slowly sinking forward as his choked sobs cut through the still, cool air.
There are hands on his chest and shoulder an instant later, ripping at the neck of his shirt and seeking out the bullet wound, and all Hyde can think is oh, fuck as agile fingers touch the healing injury.
He can't help the tiny gasp that escapes his control - it's not enough for Gackt to notice, but it's enough for him to smell that Gackt had perhaps dropped a glass in his rush to get water, because the scent of fresh blood is in the air and he can barely hold himself still as his mind clouds over with red.
---
It's just a ticking bomb. His human side is counting down to the explosion even though he's screaming at himself to keep control, pleading for Gackt's sake but the red's too powerful and the blood too sweet to ignore. His monster is digging his claws into his brain, demanding he surrender because he's a predator and in the end, that's all they do. That's all they're meant to do.
3 Some fucking plan, Takarai...
2 Runpleasepleasegogonow
1 I'm sor -
His human side screams in vain as it's thrown into the corner and his eyes fly open, staring straight into his victim's shocked blue irises. A snarl rips from his throat and he shoves his prey away, forcing him to the ground and then he's on top of him, pinning his arms to the ground and sitting on his stomach. A part of him delights in the way his victim gasps, the wind knocked out of him and he can smell fear and shocked coiled as one dangling in the air. It smells sweet but not as sweet as that hinted scent of blood swirling around him.
He hears his prey wheeze out his name but it just sounds like a whimper of defeat and he smirks, leaning down and down until his nose brushes his pulse, a cruel chuckle escaping his lips as he catches that beloved smell. God, it's been so long and his victim's blood is bound to be so sweet. Strong, fully masculine... he's going dizzy just thinking about it.
But first... he pulls back reluctantly as he searches out the small blood hanging in the air. His eyes sweep his body until he catches a thin cut on his finger. The red beckons him coyly and Hyde dips down to taste. As soon as the taste touches his lips, he's intoxicated and he grabs his victim's wrist and just squeezes tightly. There's a soft cry, though it falls on uncaring ears. The cut is minor, not much to get from but it's a taste of things to come and a moan escapes Hyde's lips as he thinks about what is waiting for him.
He's back to his victim's neck in a heartbeat, inhaling the scent he's so addicted to, the scent he craves. He opens his mouth and lets a fang nick a spot just above his pulse. Underneath him, his prey tries to shift but Hyde is too quick, growling for him to stay still. Blood touches his lips once again and he can no longer wait for this, he's absolutely dying -
Then he hears it: wailing, less than a mile away and approaching quickly. It's shrill, way too loud for his sensitive ears and he winces, pulling back and looking up for the perpetrator. Wailing, not human, more mechanical -
I'm calling for an ambulance...
His prey's voice drifts in his head...
No, not his prey. Not his victim.
Hyde!
Gackt. It's Gackt beneath him, Gackt who he's three seconds from killing. Preypreyprey, GacktGacktGackt -
The siren is drawing closer and suddenly he's back to being torn in two again, human versus vampire and he knows what'll happen but he's got a few seconds, just a few will be enough because Gackt won't need to be told twice to run away from him - not after what happened. His heart cracks just thinking about it until his vampire side takes control but only for a second before it's back to human and he moans, hands curling in hair as he tries to scramble off Gackt but he just stumbles onto Gackt's legs.
"Leave me alone," he whimpers, both to himself and to Gackt.
---
He curls into himself as soon as the soft vocalisation passes his lips, body quivering as he's right back at the point he started at, struggling not to kill. The scent of blood is thick in the air and even thicker on his tongue, sending him reeling as he hears Gackt gasp raggedly for air behind him. A sharp cough fills his sensitive hearing and for a second, Hyde can believe that there are no sirens but then he hears them ever-clearer in his ears, warnings of others fast approaching.
Gackt begins to move then, dragging himself away as he coughs again, trying to regain his breath. It seems like he finally grasps the urgency of the situation in that moment, and the oncoming ambulance is ignored as he staggers to his feet, backing away from Hyde's shuddering form slowly, as though he's unsteady.
"Go!" Hyde begs, his voice no higher than a whisper and he knows Gackt can't hear him, but he can only try as the scent of blood fills his senses when he inhales, and the hunter rises up as the ambulance nears, but there's nothing he can do again, nothing he can do at all...
---
If he strains, he can hear the sounds of three, maybe four heartbeats and they're coming, expecting a person who's been shot and not to be attacked by a monster. Hurriedly, he pulls up his injured wrist and bites down again, sucking in any blood left there possible. He avoids the urge to gag and wretch and he feels his monster mourn for the loss of sweet blood. It almost makes the hunter take control but he growls and just bites down harder, hitting bone.
The ambulance is pulling up into the driveway now, blue and red lights spiralling and flashing. Hyde looks up, teeth still sunk in his wrist and he forces himself to drink faster. Then he catches sight of Gackt, standing a good six feet away from him now but he's not running and Hyde stares up at him, torn between love, concern, and anger. He rips his mouth away.
"Get away!" he hisses, coughing as it comes out half choked but he gestures towards Gackt's house with his injured hand. It should be enough to get the message across. "Fucking get out of here!"
---
Gackt looks shocked first, then torn, and then Hyde can scarcely tell because he's not looking at his lover's face but at his body, waiting for him to move, waiting, waiting... Every muscle in his body screams for him to move as cold blood begins to circulate through his system, and he eyes the ambulance carefully as Gackt's form shifts slightly, leaning to the left as he seems to consider Hyde's words.
As the first man steps out of the ambulance Gackt makes his choice and sprints for the door to his house, finally listening to Hyde and putting his trust there, regardless of what he has seen, what he has heard. Hyde can hear his heart pumping fast as the first paramedic is joined by another, and as they spot his downed form, he growls softly in the back of his throat, lying in wait like the predator he is.
When they are joined by the third and last person in the vehicle, he finally gives in, drowning in the need to feed, to injure, to kill... He is consumed by the need to destroy as he finally lets go, setting the monster free.
---
It isn't pretty. The first one crumples under Hyde's weight before he even realizes what's going on and Hyde's fangs plunge into his neck, growling when the first wave of blood washes over him. It's not as sweet as Gackt's but it's blood and right now, it gives Hyde a high that he's denied for himself for the past few weeks. He's swirling in a wave of pleasure, delight, and ecstasy, he doesn't care that this person is an innocent - a human being who's only trying to save others.
The other two medics are shrieking a him to stop and one of them is tugging at Hyde's shoulders to pull him off. It's his death sentence. Hyde whirls around and pounces smoothly, grabbing his throat and squeezing. The man gasps and struggles for air and it's almost arousing how he lashes out and pleads for him to stop. It only takes a minute before Hyde's fingers have punctured the man's windpipe and he unceremoniously drops him, lapping at the fresh blood decorating his hand.
The final man has darted for the ambulance, running as fast as he can but Hyde's got a decent amount of blood, enough for him to tackle the medic before he can touch the vehicle. Hyde slams him into the side and sinks in for the kill, straight at the jugular. The man is screaming, terrible and heartbreaking but it only thrills Hyde and he just keeps on drinking until the man stops screaming and then stops moving altogether.
---
The new blood courses through him as he straightens up, stalking back over to the other corpses with nothing but instinctual intent clear in his mind. Each footstep is quick, his breath absent as he exists purely on his true nature, the one he hides so well - but now it is out in the open, and as he drags the second corpse up to him with no more effort than it would take to lift a rag doll, it is clear that whatever he appears to be on the outside, he is not. His fangs plunge into the still-warm flesh and he sucks harshly at the punctures, eyes fluttering closed as Gackt steps towards a window from the safety of the indoors, watching in morbid fascination as blood paints Hyde's lips, runs down his throat, stains his skin.
Hyde doesn't notice though, and a minute later he carelessly drops the drained body to the side, returning to his first victim here and doing much the same, lapping needily at the punctures he had left there. There is blood, so much blood, enough to bathe in or drown in, and Hyde lets himself fall entirely into ecstasy as the bloodlust consumes him, as he approaches the point at which he is sated, blood coursing thickly through his veins and settling in his stomach as he finally drops the last body, moaning softly in contentment as the haze of the beast begins to fade, leaving the taint of its presence but nothing more as he slowly comes back to reality.
---
It doesn't quite hit him at first, what he's looking at. It's like he can't see it for what it really is, a corpse that he brutally killed for food. But something is on his lips and he swipes at it with his tongue only to taste blood.
And then it's furious slap to the face and he's staring at his handiwork, blood everywhere, staining him, painting him in his sin. Never has it been this bad before - this is pure slaughter, cold, ruthless slaughter all because of his bloodlust. He scrambles back and covers his mouth, gagging and so close to throwing up. Tears burn in his eyes as he stares at the dead man, his face contorted into an endless scream for eternity. Hyde did this to someone, a person who probably had a family, a child, who just wanted to help and look at his reward.
And there are three of them.
Hyde's head jerks up to study the other bodies and then slowly, to glance at the house. His heart lurches in his chest as he realizes that Gackt couldn't have not heard those terrified screams, the last words of dying men. And he knows everything now, knows what Hyde was desperate to keep from him but it's too late, god, it's too late...
---
His hands slide jerkily up to fist in his hair and he falls to his knees, his agony no longer physical but mental as he tries to contemplate what will happen and fails - the only thing he can see is the disgust, the utter disgust and then the complete rejection. He knows that he has passed the point of no return with this and he is willing to accept it, but at the same time, he's kicking and screaming on the inside, cursing himself for being what he is, or worse, for existing.
His body hunches over as his form is wracked with sobs, his tears running hot down his face and he watches them fall into the grass, tiny swirls of crimson in each pristine droplet as his tears wash the blood away, each droplet a confession of sin as he cries wordlessly into the leaves and grass scattered across the earth. He knows he can't stay here, but for a moment, he can't make himself move even though he must flee.
---
So he lays there, gasping and choking on sobs at the same time, his face burning, every part of him burning while that nasty, terrible beast within him curls in on itself, smugly satisfied. It knows it's won, won a war Hyde's been fighting for centuries, one Hyde thought he was winning but it's never about the battles, just the war. And he's lost everything, everything that he holds close to his heart because of that fucking part of him is still alive and kicking.
He screams. He screams into the ground, voice shattered with pure self-deprecation, with remorse, with every single terrible emotion that has risen from this. He can't go back in time and change it all. This, this he'll have to live with forever, alone. There's not one person he can be around anymore.
It's the only punishment where salvation is only a drop of forgiveness. A drop is a drop but it's more than he deserves.
Slowly, he crawls to his feet, defeated, pathetic. His tears are gone but they've left their scars and the burning sensation on his face is one he'll feel for quite some time. Standing up, he feels shaky and he knows he'll barely be able to stand on his own. He tries to breathe but it's like there's something stuck in his throat - he's trying to breathe when three others lost that ability, never to inhale sweet air again. It's tattooed within him now. He'll never forget.
He turns towards the house, taking in its features. So many memories here; tonight was about another memory he could have made. Now, his memory is hell, he has tainted something so wonderful here. It never should have happened - he should have been able to stop it. Shows how wrong he really is.
He thinks he sees a figure at the window. He wants to see the person staring at him, wants to curl up under his favourite sheets and pretend this was all a nightmare. But any chance of that is gone - only the truth stands between them and it's a chasm Hyde's so afraid he'll never cross again.
Like he would be able to anyway.
He closes his eyes, bows his head. He almost screams the one thing that has never changed but he has no right - he doesn't deserve it. Instead, he drinks it all in one last time, commits it to memory one last, commits him to memory one last time. For Gackt, there's nothing more he can do.
---
All he can do is accept that it is his fault, and he stands there, his eyes closed as the scent of carnage fills his nostrils. It's a wonderful, tempting odour, comparable to how humans take in the scent of their favourite food, but now, it is sickening. The need to vomit rises up in the pit of his stomach but at the same time his body refuses to relinquish its meal, and he is stuck, tears silently rolling down cold cheeks as his still form shakes, a fine vibration running through his bones.
He isn't used to such utter emptiness, and when the emotions gripping firmly onto his heart are swept away by a wave of numbness, Hyde's eyes slowly slide open and his gaze slides across the ground to the corpse of his second victim. His eyes are drawn to the gaping holes in the man's windpipe and he cannot do anything but stare both in disgust and in horror. He wants to recoil and disappear, but he can't because he has no right to, not after this, not when Gackt knows and three humans are dead.
---
He's well and truly fucked. If he stays, there's no way this story would not reach the public's ears and it would ruin the lives of every single person close to him - Gackt, Tetsu, Ken, Yuki, Megumi, his son. Everyone in his life. He'll be labelled a monster, however wrong the explanations are.
But if he abandons the scene now, the suspicion rests on Gackt anyways - he called the ambulance for a person who was shot but there will be no person shot, just three dead bodies while Gackt is perfectly fine. It would go beyond destroying Gackt's entire life - it would kill him. There would be nothing left of him. His chest tightens just thinking about it and even though it's useless, he just tries to breathe so he can relax and maybe think of a plan that will actually work this time. Something where he disappears and Gackt can't be blamed for his sins and lack of self-control.
If the cops see an uninjured Gackt, he's a suspect. But if Gackt becomes another victim of the attack, the only lucky survivor, maybe...
---
His body's working faster than his mind and he curses as he realises what he has to do to protect Gackt, but by then he's halfway to the door and there's no time to think as he processes the things he'll have to do to make this work, to make things look like he wants them to. More than that, he wants Gackt to hate him, because as he takes the steps up to the door two at a time, he hates himself.
He's going to have to bite Gackt, too.
The door still hangs slightly ajar and he pushes it open easily, his fangs beginning to ache at the prospect of yet another meal even though he's sated. The darkness of Gackt's home doesn't affect him as he is now and he waves through the halls silently, body tense as he reaches the room he can swear he saw Gackt's silhouette in only a moment ago, and as he slips into the room unnoticed Gackt isn't even looking towards him, but out the window instead, a trail of tears marking his cheek as he fazes out, expression impassive.
I can't do this I can't do this I can't I can't --
He breaks himself out of his mental tirade and steps forward anyway, loathing himself even as he thinks about what would happen if he doesn't do this. It doesn't take much thought to envision the lack of life behind Gackt's eyes if he were to be imprisoned, nor does it take much imagination to think of Gackt going to measures as desperate as suicide to escape the confines of a cell. His lover isn't a person that can be caged, either by people or by walls, and that resolute thought is what drives him to finally step forward, his hand closing around Gackt's arm as he turns the taller man to face him. He promises himself that he won't say anything, will act as though he's not himself, but he makes the mistake of looking up at his lover's eyes and the charade is over.
Gackt is still crying, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he keeps himself expressionless, as though he's expected it to come to this, but Hyde knows him well enough to know that Gackt's sadness isn't for himself.
I'm sorry, he wants to say as he watches Gackt try to shift in the iron grip Hyde has on his arm, and he's about to raise his other hand to pull Gackt down to his level when the man raises his other arm, turning it upward so that his wrist is exposed to Hyde's sight, and then it is offered to him freely.
For a moment, Hyde is mesmerised by the almost invisible pulse of blood through the vein closest to the surface, but then he is confused; there isn't any sane reason for why Gackt's doing this, and he almost doesn't want to think of one when Gackt's voice finally breaks the silence, cracked and almost sounding worn-out.
"This is what you wanted, wasn't it?"
Title: Monster
Author: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count: 3768
Fandom: J-Rock
Character/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is being revealed one part at a time because, as an oddly-written RP [rather than each writer choosing a character we wrote it as a traditional story], that was how it was written and I thought it would be better posted in that format. This is the sum of the parts that make up the second chapter [8-20].
"Hyde!" Gackt's first cry shatters his heart as he hears the man running over to him, feels the ground shaking beneath him with the frantic footfalls. He's not even breathing - it's not necessary, but it's something he's never quite been able to stop doing and he lets his eyes fall closed as he feels warm hands on his arms, turning him over but he refuses to look, can't think, can't let himself open his eyes even a fraction of a millimetre because to do so might expose this ill-conceived ruse of his and he can't let that happen...
"No." Gackt's voice cuts into his thought process and Hyde swears his dead, unbeating heart is bleeding when he hears the way his lover's voice just cracks and how he continues to whisper it before he regains his voice. "No... no, no, no, no, you're not dead, you can't be dead, Hideto..." His voice is pleading now, full of fear and insecurity and so many other things Hyde can't let himself think about, because if he does it's all over, and he won't be able to stop himself from going after the draw of death and gore and blood, all the things the part of Hyde that is not Hyde wants. He feels his fangs against his lips, and he stays concentrated on that as Gackt breaks down above him, his body slowly sinking forward as his choked sobs cut through the still, cool air.
There are hands on his chest and shoulder an instant later, ripping at the neck of his shirt and seeking out the bullet wound, and all Hyde can think is oh, fuck as agile fingers touch the healing injury.
He can't help the tiny gasp that escapes his control - it's not enough for Gackt to notice, but it's enough for him to smell that Gackt had perhaps dropped a glass in his rush to get water, because the scent of fresh blood is in the air and he can barely hold himself still as his mind clouds over with red.
---
It's just a ticking bomb. His human side is counting down to the explosion even though he's screaming at himself to keep control, pleading for Gackt's sake but the red's too powerful and the blood too sweet to ignore. His monster is digging his claws into his brain, demanding he surrender because he's a predator and in the end, that's all they do. That's all they're meant to do.
3 Some fucking plan, Takarai...
2 Runpleasepleasegogonow
1 I'm sor -
His human side screams in vain as it's thrown into the corner and his eyes fly open, staring straight into his victim's shocked blue irises. A snarl rips from his throat and he shoves his prey away, forcing him to the ground and then he's on top of him, pinning his arms to the ground and sitting on his stomach. A part of him delights in the way his victim gasps, the wind knocked out of him and he can smell fear and shocked coiled as one dangling in the air. It smells sweet but not as sweet as that hinted scent of blood swirling around him.
He hears his prey wheeze out his name but it just sounds like a whimper of defeat and he smirks, leaning down and down until his nose brushes his pulse, a cruel chuckle escaping his lips as he catches that beloved smell. God, it's been so long and his victim's blood is bound to be so sweet. Strong, fully masculine... he's going dizzy just thinking about it.
But first... he pulls back reluctantly as he searches out the small blood hanging in the air. His eyes sweep his body until he catches a thin cut on his finger. The red beckons him coyly and Hyde dips down to taste. As soon as the taste touches his lips, he's intoxicated and he grabs his victim's wrist and just squeezes tightly. There's a soft cry, though it falls on uncaring ears. The cut is minor, not much to get from but it's a taste of things to come and a moan escapes Hyde's lips as he thinks about what is waiting for him.
He's back to his victim's neck in a heartbeat, inhaling the scent he's so addicted to, the scent he craves. He opens his mouth and lets a fang nick a spot just above his pulse. Underneath him, his prey tries to shift but Hyde is too quick, growling for him to stay still. Blood touches his lips once again and he can no longer wait for this, he's absolutely dying -
Then he hears it: wailing, less than a mile away and approaching quickly. It's shrill, way too loud for his sensitive ears and he winces, pulling back and looking up for the perpetrator. Wailing, not human, more mechanical -
I'm calling for an ambulance...
His prey's voice drifts in his head...
No, not his prey. Not his victim.
Hyde!
Gackt. It's Gackt beneath him, Gackt who he's three seconds from killing. Preypreyprey, GacktGacktGackt -
The siren is drawing closer and suddenly he's back to being torn in two again, human versus vampire and he knows what'll happen but he's got a few seconds, just a few will be enough because Gackt won't need to be told twice to run away from him - not after what happened. His heart cracks just thinking about it until his vampire side takes control but only for a second before it's back to human and he moans, hands curling in hair as he tries to scramble off Gackt but he just stumbles onto Gackt's legs.
"Leave me alone," he whimpers, both to himself and to Gackt.
---
He curls into himself as soon as the soft vocalisation passes his lips, body quivering as he's right back at the point he started at, struggling not to kill. The scent of blood is thick in the air and even thicker on his tongue, sending him reeling as he hears Gackt gasp raggedly for air behind him. A sharp cough fills his sensitive hearing and for a second, Hyde can believe that there are no sirens but then he hears them ever-clearer in his ears, warnings of others fast approaching.
Gackt begins to move then, dragging himself away as he coughs again, trying to regain his breath. It seems like he finally grasps the urgency of the situation in that moment, and the oncoming ambulance is ignored as he staggers to his feet, backing away from Hyde's shuddering form slowly, as though he's unsteady.
"Go!" Hyde begs, his voice no higher than a whisper and he knows Gackt can't hear him, but he can only try as the scent of blood fills his senses when he inhales, and the hunter rises up as the ambulance nears, but there's nothing he can do again, nothing he can do at all...
---
If he strains, he can hear the sounds of three, maybe four heartbeats and they're coming, expecting a person who's been shot and not to be attacked by a monster. Hurriedly, he pulls up his injured wrist and bites down again, sucking in any blood left there possible. He avoids the urge to gag and wretch and he feels his monster mourn for the loss of sweet blood. It almost makes the hunter take control but he growls and just bites down harder, hitting bone.
The ambulance is pulling up into the driveway now, blue and red lights spiralling and flashing. Hyde looks up, teeth still sunk in his wrist and he forces himself to drink faster. Then he catches sight of Gackt, standing a good six feet away from him now but he's not running and Hyde stares up at him, torn between love, concern, and anger. He rips his mouth away.
"Get away!" he hisses, coughing as it comes out half choked but he gestures towards Gackt's house with his injured hand. It should be enough to get the message across. "Fucking get out of here!"
---
Gackt looks shocked first, then torn, and then Hyde can scarcely tell because he's not looking at his lover's face but at his body, waiting for him to move, waiting, waiting... Every muscle in his body screams for him to move as cold blood begins to circulate through his system, and he eyes the ambulance carefully as Gackt's form shifts slightly, leaning to the left as he seems to consider Hyde's words.
As the first man steps out of the ambulance Gackt makes his choice and sprints for the door to his house, finally listening to Hyde and putting his trust there, regardless of what he has seen, what he has heard. Hyde can hear his heart pumping fast as the first paramedic is joined by another, and as they spot his downed form, he growls softly in the back of his throat, lying in wait like the predator he is.
When they are joined by the third and last person in the vehicle, he finally gives in, drowning in the need to feed, to injure, to kill... He is consumed by the need to destroy as he finally lets go, setting the monster free.
---
It isn't pretty. The first one crumples under Hyde's weight before he even realizes what's going on and Hyde's fangs plunge into his neck, growling when the first wave of blood washes over him. It's not as sweet as Gackt's but it's blood and right now, it gives Hyde a high that he's denied for himself for the past few weeks. He's swirling in a wave of pleasure, delight, and ecstasy, he doesn't care that this person is an innocent - a human being who's only trying to save others.
The other two medics are shrieking a him to stop and one of them is tugging at Hyde's shoulders to pull him off. It's his death sentence. Hyde whirls around and pounces smoothly, grabbing his throat and squeezing. The man gasps and struggles for air and it's almost arousing how he lashes out and pleads for him to stop. It only takes a minute before Hyde's fingers have punctured the man's windpipe and he unceremoniously drops him, lapping at the fresh blood decorating his hand.
The final man has darted for the ambulance, running as fast as he can but Hyde's got a decent amount of blood, enough for him to tackle the medic before he can touch the vehicle. Hyde slams him into the side and sinks in for the kill, straight at the jugular. The man is screaming, terrible and heartbreaking but it only thrills Hyde and he just keeps on drinking until the man stops screaming and then stops moving altogether.
---
The new blood courses through him as he straightens up, stalking back over to the other corpses with nothing but instinctual intent clear in his mind. Each footstep is quick, his breath absent as he exists purely on his true nature, the one he hides so well - but now it is out in the open, and as he drags the second corpse up to him with no more effort than it would take to lift a rag doll, it is clear that whatever he appears to be on the outside, he is not. His fangs plunge into the still-warm flesh and he sucks harshly at the punctures, eyes fluttering closed as Gackt steps towards a window from the safety of the indoors, watching in morbid fascination as blood paints Hyde's lips, runs down his throat, stains his skin.
Hyde doesn't notice though, and a minute later he carelessly drops the drained body to the side, returning to his first victim here and doing much the same, lapping needily at the punctures he had left there. There is blood, so much blood, enough to bathe in or drown in, and Hyde lets himself fall entirely into ecstasy as the bloodlust consumes him, as he approaches the point at which he is sated, blood coursing thickly through his veins and settling in his stomach as he finally drops the last body, moaning softly in contentment as the haze of the beast begins to fade, leaving the taint of its presence but nothing more as he slowly comes back to reality.
---
It doesn't quite hit him at first, what he's looking at. It's like he can't see it for what it really is, a corpse that he brutally killed for food. But something is on his lips and he swipes at it with his tongue only to taste blood.
And then it's furious slap to the face and he's staring at his handiwork, blood everywhere, staining him, painting him in his sin. Never has it been this bad before - this is pure slaughter, cold, ruthless slaughter all because of his bloodlust. He scrambles back and covers his mouth, gagging and so close to throwing up. Tears burn in his eyes as he stares at the dead man, his face contorted into an endless scream for eternity. Hyde did this to someone, a person who probably had a family, a child, who just wanted to help and look at his reward.
And there are three of them.
Hyde's head jerks up to study the other bodies and then slowly, to glance at the house. His heart lurches in his chest as he realizes that Gackt couldn't have not heard those terrified screams, the last words of dying men. And he knows everything now, knows what Hyde was desperate to keep from him but it's too late, god, it's too late...
---
His hands slide jerkily up to fist in his hair and he falls to his knees, his agony no longer physical but mental as he tries to contemplate what will happen and fails - the only thing he can see is the disgust, the utter disgust and then the complete rejection. He knows that he has passed the point of no return with this and he is willing to accept it, but at the same time, he's kicking and screaming on the inside, cursing himself for being what he is, or worse, for existing.
His body hunches over as his form is wracked with sobs, his tears running hot down his face and he watches them fall into the grass, tiny swirls of crimson in each pristine droplet as his tears wash the blood away, each droplet a confession of sin as he cries wordlessly into the leaves and grass scattered across the earth. He knows he can't stay here, but for a moment, he can't make himself move even though he must flee.
---
So he lays there, gasping and choking on sobs at the same time, his face burning, every part of him burning while that nasty, terrible beast within him curls in on itself, smugly satisfied. It knows it's won, won a war Hyde's been fighting for centuries, one Hyde thought he was winning but it's never about the battles, just the war. And he's lost everything, everything that he holds close to his heart because of that fucking part of him is still alive and kicking.
He screams. He screams into the ground, voice shattered with pure self-deprecation, with remorse, with every single terrible emotion that has risen from this. He can't go back in time and change it all. This, this he'll have to live with forever, alone. There's not one person he can be around anymore.
It's the only punishment where salvation is only a drop of forgiveness. A drop is a drop but it's more than he deserves.
Slowly, he crawls to his feet, defeated, pathetic. His tears are gone but they've left their scars and the burning sensation on his face is one he'll feel for quite some time. Standing up, he feels shaky and he knows he'll barely be able to stand on his own. He tries to breathe but it's like there's something stuck in his throat - he's trying to breathe when three others lost that ability, never to inhale sweet air again. It's tattooed within him now. He'll never forget.
He turns towards the house, taking in its features. So many memories here; tonight was about another memory he could have made. Now, his memory is hell, he has tainted something so wonderful here. It never should have happened - he should have been able to stop it. Shows how wrong he really is.
He thinks he sees a figure at the window. He wants to see the person staring at him, wants to curl up under his favourite sheets and pretend this was all a nightmare. But any chance of that is gone - only the truth stands between them and it's a chasm Hyde's so afraid he'll never cross again.
Like he would be able to anyway.
He closes his eyes, bows his head. He almost screams the one thing that has never changed but he has no right - he doesn't deserve it. Instead, he drinks it all in one last time, commits it to memory one last, commits him to memory one last time. For Gackt, there's nothing more he can do.
---
All he can do is accept that it is his fault, and he stands there, his eyes closed as the scent of carnage fills his nostrils. It's a wonderful, tempting odour, comparable to how humans take in the scent of their favourite food, but now, it is sickening. The need to vomit rises up in the pit of his stomach but at the same time his body refuses to relinquish its meal, and he is stuck, tears silently rolling down cold cheeks as his still form shakes, a fine vibration running through his bones.
He isn't used to such utter emptiness, and when the emotions gripping firmly onto his heart are swept away by a wave of numbness, Hyde's eyes slowly slide open and his gaze slides across the ground to the corpse of his second victim. His eyes are drawn to the gaping holes in the man's windpipe and he cannot do anything but stare both in disgust and in horror. He wants to recoil and disappear, but he can't because he has no right to, not after this, not when Gackt knows and three humans are dead.
---
He's well and truly fucked. If he stays, there's no way this story would not reach the public's ears and it would ruin the lives of every single person close to him - Gackt, Tetsu, Ken, Yuki, Megumi, his son. Everyone in his life. He'll be labelled a monster, however wrong the explanations are.
But if he abandons the scene now, the suspicion rests on Gackt anyways - he called the ambulance for a person who was shot but there will be no person shot, just three dead bodies while Gackt is perfectly fine. It would go beyond destroying Gackt's entire life - it would kill him. There would be nothing left of him. His chest tightens just thinking about it and even though it's useless, he just tries to breathe so he can relax and maybe think of a plan that will actually work this time. Something where he disappears and Gackt can't be blamed for his sins and lack of self-control.
If the cops see an uninjured Gackt, he's a suspect. But if Gackt becomes another victim of the attack, the only lucky survivor, maybe...
---
His body's working faster than his mind and he curses as he realises what he has to do to protect Gackt, but by then he's halfway to the door and there's no time to think as he processes the things he'll have to do to make this work, to make things look like he wants them to. More than that, he wants Gackt to hate him, because as he takes the steps up to the door two at a time, he hates himself.
He's going to have to bite Gackt, too.
The door still hangs slightly ajar and he pushes it open easily, his fangs beginning to ache at the prospect of yet another meal even though he's sated. The darkness of Gackt's home doesn't affect him as he is now and he waves through the halls silently, body tense as he reaches the room he can swear he saw Gackt's silhouette in only a moment ago, and as he slips into the room unnoticed Gackt isn't even looking towards him, but out the window instead, a trail of tears marking his cheek as he fazes out, expression impassive.
I can't do this I can't do this I can't I can't --
He breaks himself out of his mental tirade and steps forward anyway, loathing himself even as he thinks about what would happen if he doesn't do this. It doesn't take much thought to envision the lack of life behind Gackt's eyes if he were to be imprisoned, nor does it take much imagination to think of Gackt going to measures as desperate as suicide to escape the confines of a cell. His lover isn't a person that can be caged, either by people or by walls, and that resolute thought is what drives him to finally step forward, his hand closing around Gackt's arm as he turns the taller man to face him. He promises himself that he won't say anything, will act as though he's not himself, but he makes the mistake of looking up at his lover's eyes and the charade is over.
Gackt is still crying, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he keeps himself expressionless, as though he's expected it to come to this, but Hyde knows him well enough to know that Gackt's sadness isn't for himself.
I'm sorry, he wants to say as he watches Gackt try to shift in the iron grip Hyde has on his arm, and he's about to raise his other hand to pull Gackt down to his level when the man raises his other arm, turning it upward so that his wrist is exposed to Hyde's sight, and then it is offered to him freely.
For a moment, Hyde is mesmerised by the almost invisible pulse of blood through the vein closest to the surface, but then he is confused; there isn't any sane reason for why Gackt's doing this, and he almost doesn't want to think of one when Gackt's voice finally breaks the silence, cracked and almost sounding worn-out.
"This is what you wanted, wasn't it?"