Hopeless
what do you do when the things you've been hiding behind a smile, finally make you break down in tears? i cant handle it all its becoming to much for even me now.ha me the girl who always smiles and never cries, never lets the little things get her down, and is everyone elses support. I sit here and watch as the few things i want i cant have, the things i need keep going missing, and the people i care/cared about are all turning and looking the other way, now who can i depend on?
I've already learned to keep my mouth shut, i've already learned to hide everything inside, but i guess everyone has a breaking point? Even me. I'm not as strong of a girl as i try to be, but i refuse to ask for help because no one understands me.
I know this because i've tried. Everyone wants to give me advice or try to use there personal expierence to justify mine, but your not going through what i am exactly, your not me so please stop trying to help, it only makes things worse.
I dont like the holidays, thats something that i've come to accept since i was like 13 and christmas started to mean presents and then solitude, but im ok with that. I like being alone. I dont mind people in fact i love being around people, just not when I get to watch everyone else with there happy families celebrate the holidays and i am left with no one.
Yes i have a family and im sure they care about me somewhere deep inside them, but they've never known how to show it, so i dont expect it now. Please dont feel sorry for me i dont need pity, i appreciate you trying to help but i really just want to feel like i belong somewhere and trust me, i've almost embraced the fact that i dont.
My whole world is liteally crashing around me as everyone is decorating there dumb trees and making there stupid cookies, well thats just not for me. I do wish i had a christmas and a family to celebrate with, but i dont so therefore i am ok with being alone.
I woke up from a really bad/good dream crying and screaming and i have no idea why. So back to bed i go, or maybe i'll just go run some more.
Yea running sounds like the best thing to do now.
I've already learned to keep my mouth shut, i've already learned to hide everything inside, but i guess everyone has a breaking point? Even me. I'm not as strong of a girl as i try to be, but i refuse to ask for help because no one understands me.
I know this because i've tried. Everyone wants to give me advice or try to use there personal expierence to justify mine, but your not going through what i am exactly, your not me so please stop trying to help, it only makes things worse.
I dont like the holidays, thats something that i've come to accept since i was like 13 and christmas started to mean presents and then solitude, but im ok with that. I like being alone. I dont mind people in fact i love being around people, just not when I get to watch everyone else with there happy families celebrate the holidays and i am left with no one.
Yes i have a family and im sure they care about me somewhere deep inside them, but they've never known how to show it, so i dont expect it now. Please dont feel sorry for me i dont need pity, i appreciate you trying to help but i really just want to feel like i belong somewhere and trust me, i've almost embraced the fact that i dont.
My whole world is liteally crashing around me as everyone is decorating there dumb trees and making there stupid cookies, well thats just not for me. I do wish i had a christmas and a family to celebrate with, but i dont so therefore i am ok with being alone.
I woke up from a really bad/good dream crying and screaming and i have no idea why. So back to bed i go, or maybe i'll just go run some more.
Yea running sounds like the best thing to do now.