(no subject)
So it has been brought to my attention recently that I haven't updated in a while.
Or REALLY updated for that matter.
Phillip and I were together September 29 to November 22. Short lived to say the least. But the story really starts back in the begining of August when I got drunkkkkk with Mary at Kenny's house. Phillip is Kenny's bff. That was the first night I met phillip too. We went on a beer run and as soon as we got back I started drinking. Haha, multiple shots and smirnoff ices (never again. they've only lead to bad decisions hahah). I got rocked and next thing I know Phillip and I are up close and one of us kissed the other (no recollection of who) and he asked to go to the guest room so (assumingly) we went. I remember kinda laying there talking with him for what felt like forever then we started having sex (it wasn't that awkward... well we were both drunk so i dont know hahah) But about a month later I got his number from Mary and we started talking and him and kenny came up to greensboro and phillip stayed with me and kenny stayed with mary. (obviously) anyway. I really feel like i've explained this all already. oh well. anyway. mary and i went to havelock (where they live) to visit them and I stayed at his apartment with him and we really started to fall for each other. That was the first time I had sex that was the closest to making love. It was... so intense. I really had it bad for him. and so he basically was asking me out but he was going to Arkansas for a week and i knew he might change his mind so i told him to wait til he got back. but of course not. a few days before he left he was like "so, are we together?" or something of the like and he was like "do you want to be my girlfriend" and i said yeah. well. about a month later... he was drunk driving and flipped his car and his family forced him to go to rehab for a month. He started to not call and when he did it was odd. and So LONG STORY SHORT. he came out of rehab and didn't want me. He just wants to be 'friends.' which is ridiculous. I totally have it bad for him. and cannot seem to get over him. Yipee. Another heartbreak.
So one of the guys I work with, Jose, apparently is really into me. And in the begining I couldn't tell if it was just he wanted to fuck me or if he really liked me. Now, I know he's older than me. And he told me 29, and someone else said 31. Which..... is tough to do. I cannot imagine being like "hey mom. yeah. your 19 year old daughter is dating a 31 year old man!" It wouldn't go over well. Not to mention, he has an 11 year old child. Uhm.... no thanks. But the problem is, that even after I kinda told him yes then told him I can't do it. He's giving me my space and wanting to be friends and calling every other night. And it's nice. But tonight he starts telling me "you looked really beautiful tonight" and made mention of liking me. And it's just... HOW did I get into this position again???? I said JUST FRIENDS. and I don't want to hurt him. I'm at a loss. It sucks too because I do really like him. and if I had a choice, he'd be it. but.. the age... and alleged child... I can't. I CAN'T. ughhhh!!!! He's so sweet to me. And even my best friend LOVES him. But... UGH.
Then. this newer guy at work is totally adorable and only 21 and just... amazing personality. And apparently his girlfriend just left him and one of the girls we work with told him he should go after me. haha. I just have to laugh because I dont think i even have a chance. haha. I just don't know what to do with myself.
My very first choice is phillip but mother fucker only wants to be friends. Bastard. I just miss him so much. He had so much about him that I really loved. and his family took me in like I was one of their own. None of my boyfriends familys have done that before. I had so much fun with him and he was so smart and... everything. AND THE SEX!! HOLY SHIT. I've never had such great sex in my life. It was the number one best sex of my life. Amazing.
So that's my update. I have more I can talk about but I have a viral throat and sinus infection so I'm going to take more nyquil or however that's spelled and get in bed to sleep.
Advice is always nice :)