(no subject)
*sigh* So.... yesterday I realized that I'm not proud of what I'm doing. I'm going to graduate next year from this crappy school in this crappy town, that I probably won't want to tell people about in a few years. My parents don't understand why I decided not to go into performance... and it's sorta making me doubt myself.
I don't know what I want to accomplish in this life --- I want to have fun, I want to travel, I want to eat good food, I want to have cool things. But.. I don't want them to just be handed to me, which I think is kind of happening right now. I have a house and a car because of my parents... Costy buys me any kind of food or thing that I want (it's fun, and it was okay at first because I helped him with money the first year, but he has more than paid me back, and is in fact spoiling me). I don't pay for anything, I don't have a job -- I had a few lucky gigs that paid well so that I can afford gas and medicine, which is about all I pay for. I'm going on an amazing trip this summer (although there is still a part of me that sees the possibility of it being a complete disaster).
I don't care about school anymore, which is probably a bad thing. I just do what I have to to get decent grades, and I don't really stress about it. And you know what? I haven't really learned anything all semester.
I don't know what I want to accomplish in this life --- I want to have fun, I want to travel, I want to eat good food, I want to have cool things. But.. I don't want them to just be handed to me, which I think is kind of happening right now. I have a house and a car because of my parents... Costy buys me any kind of food or thing that I want (it's fun, and it was okay at first because I helped him with money the first year, but he has more than paid me back, and is in fact spoiling me). I don't pay for anything, I don't have a job -- I had a few lucky gigs that paid well so that I can afford gas and medicine, which is about all I pay for. I'm going on an amazing trip this summer (although there is still a part of me that sees the possibility of it being a complete disaster).
I don't care about school anymore, which is probably a bad thing. I just do what I have to to get decent grades, and I don't really stress about it. And you know what? I haven't really learned anything all semester.