It's hard to be the better man when you forget you're trying.
So I got the job. I feel excited but scared at the same time mainly because this is a potential salvation to so many situations that I've gotten myself into over the past several months. I'm a little glad it's only part-time, for the moment, because I really do worry that I would get myself back into the groove of making good money and wasting it on idle things. I've always been good at saving money which is why I've still been living comfortably though conservatively for the past few weeks with no job. The whole year I was moved out was basically a nonstop party and it got tiresome after awhile. I know that wouldn't be the case this time around moving in with my new potential roommate because we're both insanely responsible. Him more so than me but still I'd have a positive influence instead of something more submissive. I don't regret a single one of those days even though there were some awful times mixed in with all the good ones but I do believe it opened my eyes to a lot especially things I didn't know about myself. Once I get used to the schedule I have I need to straighten school out. I want to change my major and do something in the medical field. I'll figure it out soon enough, I've got time.
I've been bad at communication with people that actually matter lately. My best friend for one has been somewhat of a ghost lately and I understand he's hanging out with a new girlie but that's never really stopped us before. I feel like we're both incredibly lazy with staying in touch and there's no reason for it. It's kind of a pattern for me to get comfortable with a set of friends and spend the majority of my time with them then it seems as if that gets jaded somehow and I switch it up without really realizing it. He's always been the exception though. A lot has changed and I'm not sure what to do about it. I just wish a lot of things could go back to how they used to be and I didn't have to separate certain friends to prevent confrontation. I just have to accept the fact that that friendship will never be for a very long time if it ever gets back to good again. I feel like I've been a substitute for a lot of situations that they should of been there for each other. I don't regret it because I've enjoyed every second of it but it still makes me feel guilty in a way, like I'm taking something that wasn't mine.
Love? Not this time.
I've been bad at communication with people that actually matter lately. My best friend for one has been somewhat of a ghost lately and I understand he's hanging out with a new girlie but that's never really stopped us before. I feel like we're both incredibly lazy with staying in touch and there's no reason for it. It's kind of a pattern for me to get comfortable with a set of friends and spend the majority of my time with them then it seems as if that gets jaded somehow and I switch it up without really realizing it. He's always been the exception though. A lot has changed and I'm not sure what to do about it. I just wish a lot of things could go back to how they used to be and I didn't have to separate certain friends to prevent confrontation. I just have to accept the fact that that friendship will never be for a very long time if it ever gets back to good again. I feel like I've been a substitute for a lot of situations that they should of been there for each other. I don't regret it because I've enjoyed every second of it but it still makes me feel guilty in a way, like I'm taking something that wasn't mine.
Love? Not this time.