let's get physical...
okay, so i was FINALLY able to go to the pool today with erin and adrienne... even though we talked more than swam... haha, oh, well, i still had fun and now i'm tired in a really good way. and it was really funny because we were talking and i was just like offhand "yeah, i want to lose like 10 or 15 pounds" and i come home to find my parents setting up a home gym in our basement. and i totally helped put it together... well, parts of it... we have to put in the pulleys tomorrow, which i definitely don't want to be there for because i looked at the diagrams, and they look complicated and not fun at all. and i don't want to be around my dad when he gets frustrated with mom and me about not understanding how to do something. actually, he and i were working on putting the thing together after my mom went to bed, and it really wasn't bad at all. he's really good at explaining things when he's patient enough to go through it, and i think that between him knowing what the hell he's doing and my wonderful locating things by comparing the parts to the pictures in the diagram skills, we make a pretty good team. and i am totally excited because i want to be like JACKED in my arms... not really, but i want them to be toned... and my stomach, too because i think that six packs on girls are totally hot, and i really wish that i had one. and i've been trying the whole not snacking/ not eating past eight thing again... which i'm breaking right now. but i didn't have dinner before clarinet choir. and it's yogurt, so whatever. ooh, and tomorrow i am going shopping with lizzy so that she can find a swim suit and i can tell her that she looks INCREDIBLE in every single one of them... haha, you attractive, you. and then we can have polka dot bathing suits together, and that would just be glorious. mmmm... i smell like chlorine, which may sound gross, but i love that smell. hahaha, so random, but when becca and i were making the pies for pi day, i decided that one of my favorite sounds in the world is the sound of peeling apples. seriously. becca thought about it for a second and then she agreed. i kind of think she was just humoring me, but i don't really care. oh, man, i am in such a better mood than i have been in the last couple of days... sorry to all you guys at the lunch table on wednesday. god, that was almost as embarrassing as that time in english class when i fucking cried in front of that sub... poor woman. all i can say is that i'm really grateful for this three day weekend... i definitely need some time to just sleep and read and relax about things. oh, and roni's coming home tomorrow, which is going to be nice since i haven't seen her in awhile. i don't know if she's bringing jon or not... i hope so, but i tend to think not because otherwise i think his mom's going to be alone on easter, so i think that he should be with her. and my grandma's coming down on saturday with my aunt barb. i'm kind of worried about our "easter" dinner on saturday because it's the first like family thing since my grandfather died, and i kind of don't want to see how gram's going to deal with it. it makes me so upset to see her sad because she tries so hard to make it seem like nothing's wrong, and that she's just fine. i wish that she didn't always feel like she has to be the strong one in the family. since she's started losing her memory, she's been getting more protective of holding on to the little independent things in her life. the whole license thing... don't even get me started on that. i wish that she would just realize that she's 87 years old, and it's okay for people to take care of her in some ways at this point. it's not like anybody in my family looks down on her or anything (although my aunt barb sort of pisses me off when she acts patronizing towards her sometimes) and we all totally respect her. the thing she hates most in the world is feeling helpless, i think, and i realize that it's got to be really hard for her to understand that she can't do everything that she used to be able to do. erg... i just want to think about something happy now. haha, i think i'll continue with the shining... ironically, horror books always get me in a better mood. night.