"wake me up when september ends"
today was... interesting. so i fell asleep way too early last night and had to do my psych during all my classes today... pressure. i didn't approve. but today was ELEVEN MONTHS that a certain ms. dargie and i have been unionized, and i got a sundae as an anniversary gift, and it made me very happy. i can't wait until tomorrow to see all the bands, and hopefully we do better than we did at the football game tonight. lizzy said that it wasn't all that bad, but the clarinets had like four near-collisions, and it makes me really worried. that and kelli's comment from sectionals. i'm getting really frustrated and sad about the section this year... there's a couple people that are really trying, but for the most part, it seems that they don't really give a crap about anything. i just want to tell them to get out and stop complaining about something that they voluntarily signed up for. i would rather work without them than have them spreading their bad attitudes to the rest of us. i mean, it's REALLY hard to make me mad... i mean, i get annoyed easily, yeah, but pissed off? no, that's not me... and the fact that i was getting to the point where i wasn't talking (after swearing at him...) made me really sad. it's just a matter of respect, and i feel that if i give people respect, i deserve it in return. allison said that she wants to talk to mr. f about it because SHE'S getting annoyed... like 6 people away... and that says something to me. i'm giving it one more rehearsal before i talk to him about it. i'm reaching my breaking point, and honestly, blowing up isn't going to help me, like kev thinks that it will. i can't just yell at people and be okay with it. it just makes me feel... deflated... afterwards. ugh. i really don't want to deal with it sometimes because it's really just a matter of getting them motivated, and i don't know how much longer i can keep up the peppy, cheerful, fun-loving thing. i also hate getting blamed for us sucking... allison and i are trying to help and offer our help and we have sectionals... kelli telling us to get a move on, i think, was what really upset me. i'm not saying that she didn't have the right to say it, because she totally did, and i know that it is our responsibility to make the section presentable, but it's just to the point where we can't practice for them... they have to do it themselves. now i'm all sad because i wanted my senior year to be outstanding, and i don't know if i'm going to feel satisfied by the end of this season. i don't want to end it feeling the way that i do now. it just wouldn't be fulfilling. but... i'm rambling. anyway, it's only september, and i have no idea what the season will bring. i just don't want to hear any whining tomorrow because, quite frankly, i'm sick of it (and i realize that it's hypocritical to complain about complaining). it's just that it's always the same people... person... and it's really getting to me. whatever. tomorrow will be great. i can't wait to see what all the other schools have come up with, and i love meeting people at band competitions because they're so friendly. i'm going to be a role model tomorrow, and be open and willing to do everything. little or no complaints. positive attitude. that always makes the day go by faster. oh, and lizzy, ONE DAY!!!!!! we're having a sleepover, and the complete square will be together!! we need a picture of the four of us = cutest polygon in existence!! wow, now that i've written a novel... i think i'm just going to chill out and shower and sleep so i'm ready for tomorrow. we have SO much work that we need to get done... i hope that tonight at least made people want to improve. oh, well. happy anniversary, lizzy love!!! love you all.