Eh..
I'm planning on dying.
Anyone wanna go down with me?
And never again, and never again,
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all, dead, now.
Morbid, yes, but that's how I feel right now. I'm sick of the same thing every day, day after day. So much has been given to me and I feel like I can do so much, but not when I have no motivation to do any of it.
More than once I've wished I could die, just to see who would care. I know I'm taking things for granted yet again but you know what? Fuck taking things for granted. Fuck trying to make people okay. Fuck pretending to be happy. I've got my own shit to deal with. And for once, I need help. The ONE time I need help, I have no one.
I was thinking about what Matt said, about how I always look pissed off in the halls. Then I remember a few people saying things like, "Jill? Mad? Jill's always happy, she's never mad." And I believed it. But after thinking, I realized that I'm never HAPPY. It's just that I've gotten so good at pretending, I don't even know how I feel anymore.
It's sort of funny..
I never go off like this.
Oh well, there's a time for everything I guess.
Reading time.
Love.
Anyone wanna go down with me?
And never again, and never again,
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all, dead, now.
Morbid, yes, but that's how I feel right now. I'm sick of the same thing every day, day after day. So much has been given to me and I feel like I can do so much, but not when I have no motivation to do any of it.
More than once I've wished I could die, just to see who would care. I know I'm taking things for granted yet again but you know what? Fuck taking things for granted. Fuck trying to make people okay. Fuck pretending to be happy. I've got my own shit to deal with. And for once, I need help. The ONE time I need help, I have no one.
I was thinking about what Matt said, about how I always look pissed off in the halls. Then I remember a few people saying things like, "Jill? Mad? Jill's always happy, she's never mad." And I believed it. But after thinking, I realized that I'm never HAPPY. It's just that I've gotten so good at pretending, I don't even know how I feel anymore.
It's sort of funny..
I never go off like this.
Oh well, there's a time for everything I guess.
Reading time.
Love.