B/K: Progress 3/4
Title: Progress 3/4
Fandom: 24
Characters: Bill/Karen
Prompt: #31- Save Me
Word Count: 1,580
Rating: 14A
Summary: Neither of them was used to talking about how they were feeling or what they were thinking. For nearly thirty years it wasn’t about what they felt, it was about what they knew.
Author's Notes: Once I started writing this it really just flowed. I hope you enjoy this! I'd love to hear any comments/question you might have. ENJOY!
Sitting in the counsellor’s office, Bill took the opportunity to study the room as Karen and their counsellor, Charlotte, made small talk.
He liked the room. It was painted in dark neutral colours and the furniture was modern and sleek. It was clean and organized but filled with stuff; black and white photography, words of inspiration on the walls, books on every topic imaginable.
She had insisted they call her by her first name. She wasn’t a doctor she told them, but a social worker, and that she believed in equality. They, the three of them, were all there to help each other. He knew Karen had been sceptical of her at first. She had always been drawn to powerful people and Charlotte exuded anything but power. She was intelligent, however, with a Masters in Social Work and numerous other diplomas which hung on the wall.
“I’m not a show off,” she said to Bill the first time she caught him staring at the frames. “I hang them because they make my clients feel better knowing that I am qualified to do what I do.” She smiled warmly at him and he instantly felt like he could trust her with something as precious and valuable as his marriage.
He also knew that Karen had been secretly hoping that they would get there, sit down, be told what to do and that would be the end of it. But thus far it had proven to be more work than either had been anticipating. Neither of them was used to talking about how they were feeling or what they were thinking. For nearly thirty years it wasn’t about what they felt, it was about what they knew.
Things were progressing nicely, or so he thought. They were seeing Charlotte twice a week for nearly three months and he could see results. But despite the fact that they were talking more, were spending more time together, and were having sex again, it still seemed so habitual. And while there was no doubt, none, that he loved his wife and was fully committed to her, he still couldn’t help but feel that she was holding back on him.
The old Karen was headstrong and while not argumentative, she definitely had opinions which she always voiced with clear determination; she was strong and confidant. From the first day he’d met her he knew that. He also knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, loving her, in spite of his lifelong disbelief in marriage. He knew all this despite the fact that she had him in handcuffs and in a holding room. Then again, maybe that was part of her charm.
But this Karen was nothing like that woman. She was cautious and indecisive; and if he thought back since moving to Vermont, he had made all of the major decisions and most of the small ones. She moved about the house quietly, carefully and always planned her day around his schedule, as if not to ‘disturb’ him. At first he thought he could get use to this new woman. That it would be nice to have for once a normal marriage with no negotiations.
That had lasted all of a week. He hated being the one in control, it made him feel like a bully-always being the one to have the final word because she refused to. He’d never been a control freak that had always been Karen, or at least it used to be. And he realized that negotiations were a part of normal marriages, and that made him want his old Karen even more.
“Bill,” came Charlotte’s voice interrupting his thoughts. “Karen was just telling me of her thoughts on our progress so far. What do you think?”
This was his chance. He needed to put an end to this charade. It was a gamble, he knew, but he also knew that Karen would only respond if he backed her into a corner-just like when he talked her into coming to counselling in the first place. He just wanted to get this over with so they could start productive counselling and he could stop feeling like such a jerk.
Clearing his throat he gathered all his nerve. “I think that this has been nice, but quite frankly a waste of time.”
Charlotte didn’t say anything but nodded her head and arched her brow. Karen, however, snapped her head so fast it was a surprise she didn’t give herself whiplash.
Sensing that Karen was stunned, Charlotte spoke before she could say anything to undo the progress that had been made.
“Why do you feel that way, Bill?”
Bill, trying his best to act nonchalantly despite the fact that he really wanted to cry, replied. “I think that we’ve made all the progress we can make. And yes, while things are better I feel that Karen is still not sharing everything with me, with us,” he corrected himself. “And unless my wife starts being honest then I don’t see what else we can accomplish.”
“You feel that Karen is keeping things from you?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Trust me, I know my wife. She’s confidant, she’s strong-”
“I think Karen’s shown an incredible amount of strength,” Charlotte resolved. “You both have. Counselling is never easy.”
“That’s not what I mean. Is it Karen?” He asked, turning the tables on her. He needed to get her going.
“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Karen said defensively, though her eyes were beginning to tear.
“Karen, remember this is a safe place to express your feelings. You might be surprised that to say your fears out loud, they don’t sound as irrational as they might in your head,” Charlotte encouraged, her voice warm but firm.
Karen nervously glanced between Charlotte and Bill; she folded her hands in her lap in an attempt to keep them from trembling.
“I’m worried,” she started shakily. “That if I say what I am thinking that I am going to cause more damage to the relationship and that our marriage will be over for good.”
“Well, if you don’t say anything at all that will be a sure thing.” It pained him to say it but he needed to shake her, even though he knew that he would never have the impudence to leave her. It would kill him sooner than her.
“Bill,” Charlotte’s voice served as grounding. “Remember this is a non- threatening place. Karen, I sense we have the opportunity for some growth. I would strongly urge you to communicate anything you are feeling right now. Though, I’m sure Bill would understand if you needed to take some time to think this through more.”
Karen shook her head, lips pursed together. She was on the verge of breaking, so he leaned over and took her hand in his. That was all it took and she cracked.
Letting out a sob, she clamped her other hand over her mouth. She took a deep breath and shifted to face him more.
“I’m scared, no-terrified,” she sighed, taking another deep breath. “I’m terrified that Washington changed me; the people, the politics, being away from you.” Tears were pouring down her red cheeks and her body convulsed with emotion, as her voice got louder.
“I’m scared that after months of not being on the same level, that I’ve changed! And that you won’t like-love-who I am now.”
Bill sat stunned and the room suddenly went quiet. He moved closer to her, placing his hands on her arms looking her straight in the eye.
“Karen,” his voice honest, he felt for the first time in weeks. “I love you. I. Love. You. I always have and I always will. Washington may have changed you, but it certainly didn’t change my adoration for you.”
She sniffled. “No? Then what was all this counselling nonsense? No offense-” She added in Charlotte’s direction, who simply waved her hand.
“Karen, I understand that months of being away, you might have changed. So have I-but I think both of us did for the better. Washington taught us things. It taught us how important we are to each other and we’ve learned that maybe we did things wrong, handled the separation badly.”
“I didn’t want counselling because I didn’t love you-that was never the case. But after three months of being away from each other, especially so soon after getting married, I think we lost our rhythm, our pattern, you know our groove to which we lived life. Counselling was just supposed to help us get back on track, to help us find a new groove. Honey, I swear up and down-it wasn’t because I didn’t love you.”
“Your resistance to this whole thing-” he added hesitantly. “I thought it was because you didn’t want to work on us.”
Karen shook her head fervently. “No,” she breathed. “I just didn’t want you to discover that maybe marrying me was a mistake. I could never stand to lose you-I love you.”
“I love you,” he said, pulling her into him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She clung to him and he kissed her forehead. They stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled back and grinned at her. His first genuine smile in months and it made her heart soar.
Together, they turned to Charlotte.
“What do you think,” Bill asked.
“Yeah, can you save us?” Karen teased.
Charlotte could only smile and nod.
Fandom: 24
Characters: Bill/Karen
Prompt: #31- Save Me
Word Count: 1,580
Rating: 14A
Summary: Neither of them was used to talking about how they were feeling or what they were thinking. For nearly thirty years it wasn’t about what they felt, it was about what they knew.
Author's Notes: Once I started writing this it really just flowed. I hope you enjoy this! I'd love to hear any comments/question you might have. ENJOY!
Sitting in the counsellor’s office, Bill took the opportunity to study the room as Karen and their counsellor, Charlotte, made small talk.
He liked the room. It was painted in dark neutral colours and the furniture was modern and sleek. It was clean and organized but filled with stuff; black and white photography, words of inspiration on the walls, books on every topic imaginable.
She had insisted they call her by her first name. She wasn’t a doctor she told them, but a social worker, and that she believed in equality. They, the three of them, were all there to help each other. He knew Karen had been sceptical of her at first. She had always been drawn to powerful people and Charlotte exuded anything but power. She was intelligent, however, with a Masters in Social Work and numerous other diplomas which hung on the wall.
“I’m not a show off,” she said to Bill the first time she caught him staring at the frames. “I hang them because they make my clients feel better knowing that I am qualified to do what I do.” She smiled warmly at him and he instantly felt like he could trust her with something as precious and valuable as his marriage.
He also knew that Karen had been secretly hoping that they would get there, sit down, be told what to do and that would be the end of it. But thus far it had proven to be more work than either had been anticipating. Neither of them was used to talking about how they were feeling or what they were thinking. For nearly thirty years it wasn’t about what they felt, it was about what they knew.
Things were progressing nicely, or so he thought. They were seeing Charlotte twice a week for nearly three months and he could see results. But despite the fact that they were talking more, were spending more time together, and were having sex again, it still seemed so habitual. And while there was no doubt, none, that he loved his wife and was fully committed to her, he still couldn’t help but feel that she was holding back on him.
The old Karen was headstrong and while not argumentative, she definitely had opinions which she always voiced with clear determination; she was strong and confidant. From the first day he’d met her he knew that. He also knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, loving her, in spite of his lifelong disbelief in marriage. He knew all this despite the fact that she had him in handcuffs and in a holding room. Then again, maybe that was part of her charm.
But this Karen was nothing like that woman. She was cautious and indecisive; and if he thought back since moving to Vermont, he had made all of the major decisions and most of the small ones. She moved about the house quietly, carefully and always planned her day around his schedule, as if not to ‘disturb’ him. At first he thought he could get use to this new woman. That it would be nice to have for once a normal marriage with no negotiations.
That had lasted all of a week. He hated being the one in control, it made him feel like a bully-always being the one to have the final word because she refused to. He’d never been a control freak that had always been Karen, or at least it used to be. And he realized that negotiations were a part of normal marriages, and that made him want his old Karen even more.
“Bill,” came Charlotte’s voice interrupting his thoughts. “Karen was just telling me of her thoughts on our progress so far. What do you think?”
This was his chance. He needed to put an end to this charade. It was a gamble, he knew, but he also knew that Karen would only respond if he backed her into a corner-just like when he talked her into coming to counselling in the first place. He just wanted to get this over with so they could start productive counselling and he could stop feeling like such a jerk.
Clearing his throat he gathered all his nerve. “I think that this has been nice, but quite frankly a waste of time.”
Charlotte didn’t say anything but nodded her head and arched her brow. Karen, however, snapped her head so fast it was a surprise she didn’t give herself whiplash.
Sensing that Karen was stunned, Charlotte spoke before she could say anything to undo the progress that had been made.
“Why do you feel that way, Bill?”
Bill, trying his best to act nonchalantly despite the fact that he really wanted to cry, replied. “I think that we’ve made all the progress we can make. And yes, while things are better I feel that Karen is still not sharing everything with me, with us,” he corrected himself. “And unless my wife starts being honest then I don’t see what else we can accomplish.”
“You feel that Karen is keeping things from you?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Trust me, I know my wife. She’s confidant, she’s strong-”
“I think Karen’s shown an incredible amount of strength,” Charlotte resolved. “You both have. Counselling is never easy.”
“That’s not what I mean. Is it Karen?” He asked, turning the tables on her. He needed to get her going.
“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Karen said defensively, though her eyes were beginning to tear.
“Karen, remember this is a safe place to express your feelings. You might be surprised that to say your fears out loud, they don’t sound as irrational as they might in your head,” Charlotte encouraged, her voice warm but firm.
Karen nervously glanced between Charlotte and Bill; she folded her hands in her lap in an attempt to keep them from trembling.
“I’m worried,” she started shakily. “That if I say what I am thinking that I am going to cause more damage to the relationship and that our marriage will be over for good.”
“Well, if you don’t say anything at all that will be a sure thing.” It pained him to say it but he needed to shake her, even though he knew that he would never have the impudence to leave her. It would kill him sooner than her.
“Bill,” Charlotte’s voice served as grounding. “Remember this is a non- threatening place. Karen, I sense we have the opportunity for some growth. I would strongly urge you to communicate anything you are feeling right now. Though, I’m sure Bill would understand if you needed to take some time to think this through more.”
Karen shook her head, lips pursed together. She was on the verge of breaking, so he leaned over and took her hand in his. That was all it took and she cracked.
Letting out a sob, she clamped her other hand over her mouth. She took a deep breath and shifted to face him more.
“I’m scared, no-terrified,” she sighed, taking another deep breath. “I’m terrified that Washington changed me; the people, the politics, being away from you.” Tears were pouring down her red cheeks and her body convulsed with emotion, as her voice got louder.
“I’m scared that after months of not being on the same level, that I’ve changed! And that you won’t like-love-who I am now.”
Bill sat stunned and the room suddenly went quiet. He moved closer to her, placing his hands on her arms looking her straight in the eye.
“Karen,” his voice honest, he felt for the first time in weeks. “I love you. I. Love. You. I always have and I always will. Washington may have changed you, but it certainly didn’t change my adoration for you.”
She sniffled. “No? Then what was all this counselling nonsense? No offense-” She added in Charlotte’s direction, who simply waved her hand.
“Karen, I understand that months of being away, you might have changed. So have I-but I think both of us did for the better. Washington taught us things. It taught us how important we are to each other and we’ve learned that maybe we did things wrong, handled the separation badly.”
“I didn’t want counselling because I didn’t love you-that was never the case. But after three months of being away from each other, especially so soon after getting married, I think we lost our rhythm, our pattern, you know our groove to which we lived life. Counselling was just supposed to help us get back on track, to help us find a new groove. Honey, I swear up and down-it wasn’t because I didn’t love you.”
“Your resistance to this whole thing-” he added hesitantly. “I thought it was because you didn’t want to work on us.”
Karen shook her head fervently. “No,” she breathed. “I just didn’t want you to discover that maybe marrying me was a mistake. I could never stand to lose you-I love you.”
“I love you,” he said, pulling her into him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She clung to him and he kissed her forehead. They stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled back and grinned at her. His first genuine smile in months and it made her heart soar.
Together, they turned to Charlotte.
“What do you think,” Bill asked.
“Yeah, can you save us?” Karen teased.
Charlotte could only smile and nod.