Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in

[takamine898]

Well I guess I officially feel like a fringe person. I can't believe I had no clue that Mike was getting his ears sewn up! That's such a huge thing! I feel like it's something you would tell your good friends. Am I even a good friend anymore? I feel like a fringe friend. Someone who just comes around every once in a while with no real connections. I'm friends with people because I've always been friends with them. There's no growth. This sucks. I guess I can't really be surprised and I guess deep down I'm not. I've always known that it's an "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" mentality. I don't know why I decided to go hyphen crazy there. I guess this wouldn't suck so much if someone, anyone, actually called me to hang out. I feel like I annoy people because I'm always like "hey what's up?" like a little gopher popping up and irritating everyone. Is it so much to want to be missed a little? I guess the answer is yes. It's always been yes. I just keep hoping, like an idiot, that I'm the exception.

Maybe one day I'll finally figure it out, that I'm not. In fact, I'm following every pattern of everyone else. The cycle continues and it's eerily similar. Same situations, same types of people, same locations, same drama just on repeat. It's really fascinating if you stop to think about it. How can so many different people from so many different backgrounds do the same thing year after year? and when new people come in, they never change the cycle, they just fit right in.

So I ask myself, why on earth do I still wanna jump back in?