Past Regrets
Maybe it's the five glasses of wine I've had tonight or maybe the fact I'm just lonely, but I just...I feel so freakin' depressed right now...
I mean, right now, I'm on the border of tears.
Earlier tonight, Clyde's side of the family got together for dinner. It was the first time I remember everyone together since Grandpa and Grandma's 50th anniversary party. It was nice to see everyone talking and laughing to one another for a change instead of at each other's throats. Of course, the hardest part tonight came from the fact Grandpa nearly fell twice (only saved by Clyde and me) and watching him walk back into that nursing home.
Right now, I just really wish Mom or Jacob were here to hold me while I just cried. Somehow, I just...I just feel like deep down, this is one of the last times I'm going to see Grandpa, and yet, even though I know that, I can't bring myself to tell him everything I've wanted to tell him for years--how I love him, how he's inspired me, what a great man he is, etc.
What the hell is wrong with me? This is one of the times I wished I had a closer relationship with Clyde so I could talk to him about this.
Maybe there's a reason I don't drink very much... Oh well. I think I'm going to have a couple of more glasses of wine, plop in My Cousin Vinny, and wait up for Clyde until I fall asleep. I have a very busy day tomorrow. Hope everyone is well. Miss you all. Ja ne.
I mean, right now, I'm on the border of tears.
Earlier tonight, Clyde's side of the family got together for dinner. It was the first time I remember everyone together since Grandpa and Grandma's 50th anniversary party. It was nice to see everyone talking and laughing to one another for a change instead of at each other's throats. Of course, the hardest part tonight came from the fact Grandpa nearly fell twice (only saved by Clyde and me) and watching him walk back into that nursing home.
Right now, I just really wish Mom or Jacob were here to hold me while I just cried. Somehow, I just...I just feel like deep down, this is one of the last times I'm going to see Grandpa, and yet, even though I know that, I can't bring myself to tell him everything I've wanted to tell him for years--how I love him, how he's inspired me, what a great man he is, etc.
What the hell is wrong with me? This is one of the times I wished I had a closer relationship with Clyde so I could talk to him about this.
Maybe there's a reason I don't drink very much... Oh well. I think I'm going to have a couple of more glasses of wine, plop in My Cousin Vinny, and wait up for Clyde until I fall asleep. I have a very busy day tomorrow. Hope everyone is well. Miss you all. Ja ne.