I was born an introvert
Recently, I've been wondering why I pour most of my time in fangirlng, fandoms, and idols. I also notice that i might be the only Japanese pop culture fan that do not socialize with others, in the case in my country. I am from the Philippines and apparently there are a lot of jpop or JE fangirls around. Special mention to Hey say jump fangirls :) I have not interacted with any of them from the past 9 years. Yes. I have been a fan of Hey say jump for 9 years, 10 years for jdrama/actors, and 3 years for NEWS. Sadly, I just thought being alone is not enough and satisfying at the same time.
As an introvert, I am having a hard time on communicating, making decent conversations, and....talking, in general. The introvert stereotype of quiet type but seriously good at writing does not work for me. I am nothing. I am like a blank sheet f paper. I am not good in anything. Not even fangirling. I really can't express myself clearly. Not in actions...nor words. I hate this feeling. Do I even have something that am good at? Do I jut self-acclaim that I am an introvert? Will I continue living fangirling without any actual achievements? I don't plan on quitting fangirling. I just want something new. For the past 9 years I am alone but for the pat 9 years I have enjoyed being alone. It's the same feeling but two different effects in me. How contradicting.
This entry does not make sense. It's too random. What a good way to start an active lj? I hope I will have a good entry to look back.