Sweetening...
For cienna's birthday yesterday, and to cheer us both up, I wrote absurd Master and Commander AU crack fic.
Title: Not as Hyginus Wrote
Rating: PG?
Word count: 1,477
Summary: Jack/Stephen. Hyginus wrote that Scylla loved Glaucus, and Glaucus loved Scylla. This is not that story. This story has sharks.
.Not as Hyginus Wrote.
Once upon a time there was a merman called Jack.
He loved his home, the sea, and he loved swimming, and he spent many happy days traversing the cool waters he knew so well.
One day, Jack decided he wanted to see the world, so he left his comfortable calm waters and his familiar shipwrecks and swam out into the open sea. He saw many things as he travelled further and further and deeper and deeper into the unknown, from huge whales with mouths as big as ships, to brightly coloured jellyfish with trailing tendrils, to dark shadows on the ocean's surface. Creatures moved around, leaning and looking down and Jack hid from them, but watched as they cast lines into the water, threw nets behind them, and Jack wondered what the world above the water was like.
Jack travelled for a long time, seeing wondrous sights, meeting new fish and new creatures, until one day Jack realised how lonely he was. He loved travelling, and even at home he had never really been close to anyone, but Jack longed for someone in his life who might stay with him; someone else who sought travel and adventure and who didn't mind his snoring.
There was nothing Jack could do though, because whilst he met many perfectly kind and generous fish (and some very generous mermaids) who he would drink with and talk with, Jack never really felt they were his friends. They were acquaintances, temporary company. They had their own lives and soon enough Jack always left them behind.
Jack travelled and saw the world and sad that it was all a little less amazing without someone to share it with.
It happened that some time not long after this realisation Jack came across a shiver of sharks. Or rather, the sharks came upon Jack. There was no doubt that Jack liked to fight as much as the next merman, but he was one and they were many, and when the sharks saw his powerful, meaty tail, and that he was alone, they wanted nothing more than to eat him.
They came at Jack seemingly out of nowhere, fast and eyes bright with hunger and determination, and Jack was tired from swimming all day. It was, Jack thought, shameful how easily they surrounded him, buffeting him with their large noses, snapping their jaws.
Jack dodged, hit out as hard as he could with his fists and with his tail, but they were picking at him, wearing his out, and there was nowhere to escape. It seemed to Jack as though this was the end. Then, the largest of the sharks bit deep into Jack's tail and he cried out in agony as sharp teeth ripped along his sensitive scales. He watched in some sort of numb detachment as blood poured from the wound, warping and spreading out into the clear water, and at the smell of it the sharks redoubled their vicious attack, tearing and biting- even at each other- and Jack tried to keep fighting. He was a merman and he would not go down without a fight, but Jack was so tired and so weakened and his tail burned, the sharks never letting up. Jack knew if he stopped struggling for just a second he would be dead, but he tried and tried and knew his defences were growing less and less effective. It was only a matter of time, his life and his hope slipping away with his blood. And then, Jack heard a strange yelling and saw a flash of green. Someone- something- was fighting back the sharks. But now it was difficult to make things out; he couldn't see clearly, his vision fading, but at the last moment before he could hold into consciousness no more, Jack saw piercing eyes, a flash of a smile, and a beautiful green face. And Jack, despite everything, smiled back.
***
When Jack awoke it was to pain.
Pain and hunger and a head that felt full of coral and heavy, his ears ringing. It was hard to even remember what had happened, or where he was- because he didn't recognise anything in the cave he found himself in. Nor did he know why he was lying on a bed of soft seaweed, and it was the most comfortable bed he had ever laid on. Looking around the room there were strange objects lying everywhere, lining the cave walls and spread over the floor around him.
Jack tried to sit up, to get a better look at his strange surroundings, but found it agony to try. He quickly lay still, just breathing, and it was then, with wounds pulling and aching, that Jack remembered; sharks, and that smile.
He thought he'd been dead, and to wake up here, in this mess of a cave, low and dark and crammed full of things Jack had never seen before, seemed like an ignominious end to his battle with sharks. Not that he was ungrateful; his tail was tightly bandaged with kelp, skilfully, if Jack's opinion was of any worth.
In his disorientation, Jack wondered if he'd imagined that kind face, but then there was a sound from the direction of the cave's entrance, cursing, and then Jack saw him again.
"Ah," he greeted, almost absently. "You're awake. I'm glad for it."
The stranger moved quickly, gracefully, long green tentacles reaching out for Jack, gliding across the bandages around his tail, tugging at the kelp around his arms, sliding over his forehead, pressing cold suckers against his neck and wrists.
"You'll do well, I find," he said, tipping his whole body forward in what Jack took for a nod.
Jack so wished he'd smile again.
"You saved me," was what he said, finding his manners. Jack was somewhat in awe of this creature; that could battle sharks and mend him, and he looked like such a humble being. "I thank you, sir, with all my heart."
"I would leave no creature to be torn apart by those brutes," the tentacled stranger said dismissively, as though it meant nothing at all.
"Still, I thank you for it," Jack insisted, and was very glad for it. "My name is Jack," he said. "Jack Aubrey." And he wished he could sit up and greet his saviour properly, but every movement caused great pain in his back, down to the tip of his fins.
"Stephen Maturin," the creature said, and Jack liked the sound of the name very much. "How do you feel?"
He looked with bright, grey eyes to Jack's tail, looking troubled. "I am only sorry I could not have arrived sooner, to save you the pain."
"As to that," Jack assured him, holding himself very still, "It is nothing." And with this Stephen Maturin so close it was not such a falsity.
"Your tail," Stephen Maturin protested. "It must be cause you not inconsiderable discomfort. I did my best. Such magnificent scales..."
Jack found himself blushing at Stephen Maturin's directness as he had not done since he was little more than spawn. The tentacled creature did not seem in the least concerned.
"I... I thank you," was all Jack could think to say.
Without even noticing the awkwardness, Stephen Maturin went on, "Well then, I must ask you to rest, and let us see if we cannot heal you. I like to think I am not a terrible physician, and I will do all I can to preserve the movement."
It was something Jack had not allowed himself to contemplate- that he might never swim again; that he would languish forever, quite useless- bait- rotting away in some old merman's home, and still alone. So Jack nodded heartily at seeing Stephen's confidence. A creature who could repel the attack of five or more sharks could surely accomplish anything.
"I am sure you are mightily skilled," Jack said earnestly, and despite the pain he knew it to be true; considering the large bite the shark had taken out of him Jack should surely have lost at least a fin. But he was complete, all his tail attached, if swathed in thick kelp.
"We shall see," Stephen Maturin said kindly, and Jack was glad then to see his smile again. This time softer, something warmer. Jack would like to have spoken more to Stephen Maturin; asked him so many things, but despite his enthusiasm Jack found himself weary. He had never known such lethargy. But with Stephen Maturin's presence, and the gentle touch of his tentacles against his hair and along his sides, gently tightening the bandages around his fins, Jack found his eyes grown heavy, falling into sleep. Here, he felt safe and secure and cared for in a way he had never felt before, and Jack felt himself smiling back even as he fell asleep.
***
.END(ish).
This is the danger, it seems, when you put a sea-based canon in front of me. You don't want to see the MSPaint speshul art I drew that inspired this little piece of insanity...
Whilst we're on the subject of tentacles, I direct you all to tentacle_fest, which has now opened prompts for this year!
More seriously, but relevant to our reading/writing interests, this article about the absense of genre writing from the mainstream media as opposed to "literary fiction" is interesting and so very, very true.
Title: Not as Hyginus Wrote
Rating: PG?
Word count: 1,477
Summary: Jack/Stephen. Hyginus wrote that Scylla loved Glaucus, and Glaucus loved Scylla. This is not that story. This story has sharks.
.Not as Hyginus Wrote.
Once upon a time there was a merman called Jack.
He loved his home, the sea, and he loved swimming, and he spent many happy days traversing the cool waters he knew so well.
One day, Jack decided he wanted to see the world, so he left his comfortable calm waters and his familiar shipwrecks and swam out into the open sea. He saw many things as he travelled further and further and deeper and deeper into the unknown, from huge whales with mouths as big as ships, to brightly coloured jellyfish with trailing tendrils, to dark shadows on the ocean's surface. Creatures moved around, leaning and looking down and Jack hid from them, but watched as they cast lines into the water, threw nets behind them, and Jack wondered what the world above the water was like.
Jack travelled for a long time, seeing wondrous sights, meeting new fish and new creatures, until one day Jack realised how lonely he was. He loved travelling, and even at home he had never really been close to anyone, but Jack longed for someone in his life who might stay with him; someone else who sought travel and adventure and who didn't mind his snoring.
There was nothing Jack could do though, because whilst he met many perfectly kind and generous fish (and some very generous mermaids) who he would drink with and talk with, Jack never really felt they were his friends. They were acquaintances, temporary company. They had their own lives and soon enough Jack always left them behind.
Jack travelled and saw the world and sad that it was all a little less amazing without someone to share it with.
It happened that some time not long after this realisation Jack came across a shiver of sharks. Or rather, the sharks came upon Jack. There was no doubt that Jack liked to fight as much as the next merman, but he was one and they were many, and when the sharks saw his powerful, meaty tail, and that he was alone, they wanted nothing more than to eat him.
They came at Jack seemingly out of nowhere, fast and eyes bright with hunger and determination, and Jack was tired from swimming all day. It was, Jack thought, shameful how easily they surrounded him, buffeting him with their large noses, snapping their jaws.
Jack dodged, hit out as hard as he could with his fists and with his tail, but they were picking at him, wearing his out, and there was nowhere to escape. It seemed to Jack as though this was the end. Then, the largest of the sharks bit deep into Jack's tail and he cried out in agony as sharp teeth ripped along his sensitive scales. He watched in some sort of numb detachment as blood poured from the wound, warping and spreading out into the clear water, and at the smell of it the sharks redoubled their vicious attack, tearing and biting- even at each other- and Jack tried to keep fighting. He was a merman and he would not go down without a fight, but Jack was so tired and so weakened and his tail burned, the sharks never letting up. Jack knew if he stopped struggling for just a second he would be dead, but he tried and tried and knew his defences were growing less and less effective. It was only a matter of time, his life and his hope slipping away with his blood. And then, Jack heard a strange yelling and saw a flash of green. Someone- something- was fighting back the sharks. But now it was difficult to make things out; he couldn't see clearly, his vision fading, but at the last moment before he could hold into consciousness no more, Jack saw piercing eyes, a flash of a smile, and a beautiful green face. And Jack, despite everything, smiled back.
***
When Jack awoke it was to pain.
Pain and hunger and a head that felt full of coral and heavy, his ears ringing. It was hard to even remember what had happened, or where he was- because he didn't recognise anything in the cave he found himself in. Nor did he know why he was lying on a bed of soft seaweed, and it was the most comfortable bed he had ever laid on. Looking around the room there were strange objects lying everywhere, lining the cave walls and spread over the floor around him.
Jack tried to sit up, to get a better look at his strange surroundings, but found it agony to try. He quickly lay still, just breathing, and it was then, with wounds pulling and aching, that Jack remembered; sharks, and that smile.
He thought he'd been dead, and to wake up here, in this mess of a cave, low and dark and crammed full of things Jack had never seen before, seemed like an ignominious end to his battle with sharks. Not that he was ungrateful; his tail was tightly bandaged with kelp, skilfully, if Jack's opinion was of any worth.
In his disorientation, Jack wondered if he'd imagined that kind face, but then there was a sound from the direction of the cave's entrance, cursing, and then Jack saw him again.
"Ah," he greeted, almost absently. "You're awake. I'm glad for it."
The stranger moved quickly, gracefully, long green tentacles reaching out for Jack, gliding across the bandages around his tail, tugging at the kelp around his arms, sliding over his forehead, pressing cold suckers against his neck and wrists.
"You'll do well, I find," he said, tipping his whole body forward in what Jack took for a nod.
Jack so wished he'd smile again.
"You saved me," was what he said, finding his manners. Jack was somewhat in awe of this creature; that could battle sharks and mend him, and he looked like such a humble being. "I thank you, sir, with all my heart."
"I would leave no creature to be torn apart by those brutes," the tentacled stranger said dismissively, as though it meant nothing at all.
"Still, I thank you for it," Jack insisted, and was very glad for it. "My name is Jack," he said. "Jack Aubrey." And he wished he could sit up and greet his saviour properly, but every movement caused great pain in his back, down to the tip of his fins.
"Stephen Maturin," the creature said, and Jack liked the sound of the name very much. "How do you feel?"
He looked with bright, grey eyes to Jack's tail, looking troubled. "I am only sorry I could not have arrived sooner, to save you the pain."
"As to that," Jack assured him, holding himself very still, "It is nothing." And with this Stephen Maturin so close it was not such a falsity.
"Your tail," Stephen Maturin protested. "It must be cause you not inconsiderable discomfort. I did my best. Such magnificent scales..."
Jack found himself blushing at Stephen Maturin's directness as he had not done since he was little more than spawn. The tentacled creature did not seem in the least concerned.
"I... I thank you," was all Jack could think to say.
Without even noticing the awkwardness, Stephen Maturin went on, "Well then, I must ask you to rest, and let us see if we cannot heal you. I like to think I am not a terrible physician, and I will do all I can to preserve the movement."
It was something Jack had not allowed himself to contemplate- that he might never swim again; that he would languish forever, quite useless- bait- rotting away in some old merman's home, and still alone. So Jack nodded heartily at seeing Stephen's confidence. A creature who could repel the attack of five or more sharks could surely accomplish anything.
"I am sure you are mightily skilled," Jack said earnestly, and despite the pain he knew it to be true; considering the large bite the shark had taken out of him Jack should surely have lost at least a fin. But he was complete, all his tail attached, if swathed in thick kelp.
"We shall see," Stephen Maturin said kindly, and Jack was glad then to see his smile again. This time softer, something warmer. Jack would like to have spoken more to Stephen Maturin; asked him so many things, but despite his enthusiasm Jack found himself weary. He had never known such lethargy. But with Stephen Maturin's presence, and the gentle touch of his tentacles against his hair and along his sides, gently tightening the bandages around his fins, Jack found his eyes grown heavy, falling into sleep. Here, he felt safe and secure and cared for in a way he had never felt before, and Jack felt himself smiling back even as he fell asleep.
***
.END(ish).
This is the danger, it seems, when you put a sea-based canon in front of me. You don't want to see the MSPaint speshul art I drew that inspired this little piece of insanity...
Whilst we're on the subject of tentacles, I direct you all to tentacle_fest, which has now opened prompts for this year!
More seriously, but relevant to our reading/writing interests, this article about the absense of genre writing from the mainstream media as opposed to "literary fiction" is interesting and so very, very true.