(no subject)
It's weird. I know no one reads this but yet I still write from time to time.
Today was one month since Brad died. I don't understand why it's so hard on me. We never met, just talked. I really looked up to him, I still do. He had the most amazing outlook on life, even when he knew he hardly had a chance to survive his cancer. I just always wonder, what if they didn't pull the plug, would he have made it? I just read his myspace with all the comments people leave him, he was such a loved person. He changed so many peoples lives, even ones that never got a chance to talk to him. Everyone knew how he looked at life, and it just changes you. I don't think anyone can say they hate their life over a lost friendship, or a lost boyfriend or girflriend. Look at everything Brad went through, did he ever hate his life, no he loved it. It's taken me years to finally think of life this way, but I'm finally learning to. I want to be just like my mom. Her and Brad had similiar stories, just different illnesses. My mom made it and he didn't. Life is weird like that. I just really love how Brad saw everything. Even his about me on myspace said like "I will be touring the world again soon, when im healthy, but if for some reason i don't make it through the next surgery I'd like to see how many people show up at my funeral from myspace". He didn't seem scared, of course he was, but he put on his brave face and tried to beat this cancer. In my eyes, he won this battle. He maybe have lost his life, but he beat cancer. He played a show a few days after brain surgery, and a few days before he died. That takes so much strength that his body definitly didn't have, but he did it anyway. I hope to get to Kentucky one day to visit him. It's just his grave but I'd still ike to visit. Close to Home might play Starland, it will be weird without Brad but I'd be very happy to see them.
Life scares me. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. You never know who or where or when. It's a scary thought but its reality and something eveyrone has to face. I'm sick of hearing people complain because people are moving away, or someone doesn't talk to them anymore, or the girl or guy they like doesn't like them back. Just get over it, it's going to happy, you meet new people. Be happy you have a life, it may suck at times but at least you have the chance to live it. Everyone leaves you at some point in your life. It's going to hurt, you're going to get upset but just be happy you got the chance to meet them.
Seriously though, just take the time to sit and think about life, and how good you probably have it. Having a life to live is good enough. Of course things could be better, but just make the best of what you have. I'm done with hearing people talk about how their life sucks because of friendships and relationships. It's stupid and I don't want to hear it. There's so much more to life them all that. You can deal with losing a friend or two sometimes. At least you know they still exist, that's good enough for me. Death and drifting away are completely opposite and just be lucky the person's still around.
Today was one month since Brad died. I don't understand why it's so hard on me. We never met, just talked. I really looked up to him, I still do. He had the most amazing outlook on life, even when he knew he hardly had a chance to survive his cancer. I just always wonder, what if they didn't pull the plug, would he have made it? I just read his myspace with all the comments people leave him, he was such a loved person. He changed so many peoples lives, even ones that never got a chance to talk to him. Everyone knew how he looked at life, and it just changes you. I don't think anyone can say they hate their life over a lost friendship, or a lost boyfriend or girflriend. Look at everything Brad went through, did he ever hate his life, no he loved it. It's taken me years to finally think of life this way, but I'm finally learning to. I want to be just like my mom. Her and Brad had similiar stories, just different illnesses. My mom made it and he didn't. Life is weird like that. I just really love how Brad saw everything. Even his about me on myspace said like "I will be touring the world again soon, when im healthy, but if for some reason i don't make it through the next surgery I'd like to see how many people show up at my funeral from myspace". He didn't seem scared, of course he was, but he put on his brave face and tried to beat this cancer. In my eyes, he won this battle. He maybe have lost his life, but he beat cancer. He played a show a few days after brain surgery, and a few days before he died. That takes so much strength that his body definitly didn't have, but he did it anyway. I hope to get to Kentucky one day to visit him. It's just his grave but I'd still ike to visit. Close to Home might play Starland, it will be weird without Brad but I'd be very happy to see them.
Life scares me. Anything can happen to anyone at any time. You never know who or where or when. It's a scary thought but its reality and something eveyrone has to face. I'm sick of hearing people complain because people are moving away, or someone doesn't talk to them anymore, or the girl or guy they like doesn't like them back. Just get over it, it's going to happy, you meet new people. Be happy you have a life, it may suck at times but at least you have the chance to live it. Everyone leaves you at some point in your life. It's going to hurt, you're going to get upset but just be happy you got the chance to meet them.
Seriously though, just take the time to sit and think about life, and how good you probably have it. Having a life to live is good enough. Of course things could be better, but just make the best of what you have. I'm done with hearing people talk about how their life sucks because of friendships and relationships. It's stupid and I don't want to hear it. There's so much more to life them all that. You can deal with losing a friend or two sometimes. At least you know they still exist, that's good enough for me. Death and drifting away are completely opposite and just be lucky the person's still around.