(no subject)
I've been released from the Tenth level of hell.
Only special people go there. It's kind of like having a VIP pass.
(also when you have this pass you can venture into the other levels)
I beat Lucifer, John Paul II, and Judas at poker enough times that I earned their respect.
So I'm back on Earth.
Friends of mine thought I was dead. In a way I was. But I'm back.
Hell is the equvilent of high school while Earth is the equvilent of college.
I laugh at God, for the child that he is.
The human race is flawed, and careless. Our time is coming children. Our time is coming....
The doors that I have opened, I quickly closed again. I was foolish.
The timeline is fucked up.
I know the things that are about to come up in my life. I'm in denial. But I see it. I understand it. I just don't want to believe it.
I've been hit with the logic and oppertunity train all at once.
I built this persona that nothing hurts me. That I laugh at painful situations. That I am always strong.
But guess what. I do cry. Just in my own privacy. But even then it's once in a blue moon.
People look up to me for guidiance and protection. Which I have fullfilled on many occassions. People come to me specifically when they need something done, and quickly. Which I do fullfill.
I laugh at my genetic disorder, for it has tried to kill me more times than I can keep track of. I laugh at my environment, for it has tried to kill me more times than I can keep track of too.
I laugh at the Grim Reaper who has taken up permeant residence on my right shoulder for the past three years. A reminder that I beat him everyday and every night.
I've stepped up to smoking Marlboro 27s. I scared people enough when I smoked Reds. Now I turn more heads. Cancer does not scare me. I scare cancer. Because I know cancer isn't going to kill me. I already know how I'm going out. I wouldn't want it to change either.
People beg me to stop, but I don't wish to. I usually laugh and tell them it's my choice. But I appreciate their concern for me
All the strange things that are reported by people. Most of it is true. Believe it. It happens and they do exist.
For the people that fill me with doubt. I no longer wish to know you. Please stay away from me. This is a warning. If you continue I will do something about it. Something you probably won't like.
One thing I have learned recently. It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
I go wherever my medications reside.
The war that I am fighting has grown larger. I am fighting on three fronts now. But I am winning. I am taking back my territory and expanding to new frontiers.
I know I have friends out there that love and care about me. Sometimes I forget and need to be reminded of this. I am terribly sorry. Please forgive me.
Right now I need my friends' support. Please keep kicking me in the ass. I appreciate what you all are doing for me. But please be patient with me. I do listen. I do take into account to what you tell me. I do take action. I have changed drastically because of you all already. Understand that I am here for you guys as well. I may not always be available right now because I am making changes in my life for the better. As I've said I am listening to you.
For those of you I yelled at. I am sorry. I am not yelling at you, I'm just screaming out because I am frustrated with myself. I am frustrated about where I am right now. I feel trapped. In a few weeks I will be better. Right now I am shell shocked.
Yes I know I am an asshole.
Only special people go there. It's kind of like having a VIP pass.
(also when you have this pass you can venture into the other levels)
I beat Lucifer, John Paul II, and Judas at poker enough times that I earned their respect.
So I'm back on Earth.
Friends of mine thought I was dead. In a way I was. But I'm back.
Hell is the equvilent of high school while Earth is the equvilent of college.
I laugh at God, for the child that he is.
The human race is flawed, and careless. Our time is coming children. Our time is coming....
The doors that I have opened, I quickly closed again. I was foolish.
The timeline is fucked up.
I know the things that are about to come up in my life. I'm in denial. But I see it. I understand it. I just don't want to believe it.
I've been hit with the logic and oppertunity train all at once.
I built this persona that nothing hurts me. That I laugh at painful situations. That I am always strong.
But guess what. I do cry. Just in my own privacy. But even then it's once in a blue moon.
People look up to me for guidiance and protection. Which I have fullfilled on many occassions. People come to me specifically when they need something done, and quickly. Which I do fullfill.
I laugh at my genetic disorder, for it has tried to kill me more times than I can keep track of. I laugh at my environment, for it has tried to kill me more times than I can keep track of too.
I laugh at the Grim Reaper who has taken up permeant residence on my right shoulder for the past three years. A reminder that I beat him everyday and every night.
I've stepped up to smoking Marlboro 27s. I scared people enough when I smoked Reds. Now I turn more heads. Cancer does not scare me. I scare cancer. Because I know cancer isn't going to kill me. I already know how I'm going out. I wouldn't want it to change either.
People beg me to stop, but I don't wish to. I usually laugh and tell them it's my choice. But I appreciate their concern for me
All the strange things that are reported by people. Most of it is true. Believe it. It happens and they do exist.
For the people that fill me with doubt. I no longer wish to know you. Please stay away from me. This is a warning. If you continue I will do something about it. Something you probably won't like.
One thing I have learned recently. It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
I go wherever my medications reside.
The war that I am fighting has grown larger. I am fighting on three fronts now. But I am winning. I am taking back my territory and expanding to new frontiers.
I know I have friends out there that love and care about me. Sometimes I forget and need to be reminded of this. I am terribly sorry. Please forgive me.
Right now I need my friends' support. Please keep kicking me in the ass. I appreciate what you all are doing for me. But please be patient with me. I do listen. I do take into account to what you tell me. I do take action. I have changed drastically because of you all already. Understand that I am here for you guys as well. I may not always be available right now because I am making changes in my life for the better. As I've said I am listening to you.
For those of you I yelled at. I am sorry. I am not yelling at you, I'm just screaming out because I am frustrated with myself. I am frustrated about where I am right now. I feel trapped. In a few weeks I will be better. Right now I am shell shocked.
Yes I know I am an asshole.