Holding Hands
Please keep in mind these entries are not supposed to be whining or attempts to finagle pity from my friends; they are simply ramblings that writing down makes me feel a sort of calm and introspection. I was riding in a car last night. I am usually a driver, no particular distain for riding but it would be a lie if I didn't say I prefer driving. As I looked out of the window at the passing scenery of lights and dark shadowed buildings from the deep black night’s sky I felt the touch of the wind on my hand, which I had been holding out side of the car. I stopped my mundane thinking and slipped into a sort of sensory awareness, I was focused on the caress of the invisible force gliding over my skin and pushing into my palm, I would turn my hand one way… the winds grip would tighten on my side now. Turn my hand up and the wind would push and lift my entire arm into the sky. I closed my fingers as if to grab some of the air back and exchange the briefest of sentiment to the inconstant element.
It was here were I realized other then children who needed a guardian, my mother who needed a son or friend who needed a lift. I have never held the hand of another. The Intimate way, the "I have you and I don’t want to let you go" sort of way. I haven’t been seated next to someone and then without real knowledge as to why, your hands and fingers slide together intertwine and you connect and fuel each other’s heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I have never held a girls hand and known that I could kiss her, or that she could kiss me anytime we wanted and it would be welcome, I haven’t held a hand and been reminded of our shared loves from before, or inspired of loves to come.
Its like the beetles said “I wanna hold your hand”
It was here were I realized other then children who needed a guardian, my mother who needed a son or friend who needed a lift. I have never held the hand of another. The Intimate way, the "I have you and I don’t want to let you go" sort of way. I haven’t been seated next to someone and then without real knowledge as to why, your hands and fingers slide together intertwine and you connect and fuel each other’s heart. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I have never held a girls hand and known that I could kiss her, or that she could kiss me anytime we wanted and it would be welcome, I haven’t held a hand and been reminded of our shared loves from before, or inspired of loves to come.
Its like the beetles said “I wanna hold your hand”