oh joy how i love panic attacks
well now. lets see. how have I been lately and what have i been up to? Memorial Day weekend (the 27th of May) I was down in Martinsburg, West Virginia helpin my buddy out by workin security at the rave he and his friends were hosting. It was all right. I was higher than hell the whole time and it was great. Im not too big on jungle but what can ya do? whatever you can get yourself hooked up in as far as the music business goes. So now I've got connects in the production side of things and Im hoping that by next year at this time, I can have some decks, some vinyl and be able to spin a set on open decks a couple places. My goal is to try and revive/give birth to a trance scene in pittsburgh. Hopefully if that happens, I can keep on the DL with my mixing and just go to the big shows. Truly, I don't wanna be famous. I just wanna whore myself out to local clubs (probably Sanctuary with it's boat loads of little goth girls and boys would be most likely to utilize me) and to some of the larger private parties. I just wanna party for free and mix trance.
After the rave, I was on my way back to Pittsburgh. Once there, I took off to Murrysville with barely any rest whatsoever to see Kristin. Once there, I hung out with her for a couple hours and went back home. The next day I find out from her that she can't be my girlfriend because she doesn't feel that way. At that instant, I felt something I hadn't felt for a long time, and that was heartbreak. Yea it sucks but you know what? To hell with her. This just proves to me that I am supposed to be with Jodi and that I should steer clear of the young, naieve, immature types because they don't honestly know what's good for them and they have to make their mistakes in life in order to realize, that I am greater than all else out there. Yep, heartbreak ain't killin this ego ANYTIME soon.
School is shitty. Shittier than usual. I got up today for my 8am and had a panic attack which lead to dry heaves. I freaked, took some tylenol and went to sleep. Needless to say, I feel better but at the same time, I think I'm failing school. I really hate AiP. I really really do hate AiP with every fiber of my being. It wouldn't be so bad if the work was spaced out some, but they give it to you ALL AT ONCE and expect it done ALL AT ONCE and they want greatness out of every piece. Well I'm fucking sorry that I work and have a life and need to sleep and eat and bathe. There aren't enough hours in a day or even days in a week to get their shit done and I'm breaking down because I am trying to meet their demands. Fuck them. I need to change schools.
Jess, if you read this, I really want you to email me please. ^_^ I miss you and I've been thinking about you lately.
After the rave, I was on my way back to Pittsburgh. Once there, I took off to Murrysville with barely any rest whatsoever to see Kristin. Once there, I hung out with her for a couple hours and went back home. The next day I find out from her that she can't be my girlfriend because she doesn't feel that way. At that instant, I felt something I hadn't felt for a long time, and that was heartbreak. Yea it sucks but you know what? To hell with her. This just proves to me that I am supposed to be with Jodi and that I should steer clear of the young, naieve, immature types because they don't honestly know what's good for them and they have to make their mistakes in life in order to realize, that I am greater than all else out there. Yep, heartbreak ain't killin this ego ANYTIME soon.
School is shitty. Shittier than usual. I got up today for my 8am and had a panic attack which lead to dry heaves. I freaked, took some tylenol and went to sleep. Needless to say, I feel better but at the same time, I think I'm failing school. I really hate AiP. I really really do hate AiP with every fiber of my being. It wouldn't be so bad if the work was spaced out some, but they give it to you ALL AT ONCE and expect it done ALL AT ONCE and they want greatness out of every piece. Well I'm fucking sorry that I work and have a life and need to sleep and eat and bathe. There aren't enough hours in a day or even days in a week to get their shit done and I'm breaking down because I am trying to meet their demands. Fuck them. I need to change schools.
Jess, if you read this, I really want you to email me please. ^_^ I miss you and I've been thinking about you lately.