I feel like I should say something...
Part of me feels like I should mark this occasion, simply because I don't really have many anniversaries left to celebrate. I mean I have my birthday (that still hasn't been taken away yet), Katie and I's, I suppose my parents fall in there, but that's about it. A day or so from now, I will have lived in St. Paul for a full year.
Looking back at the entries from last may and april really bring back a flood of memories (especially the comments section) as I was so unsure of so many things. Whether or not Katie and I would survive, if I would make it, if I would make friends, if I would have a job soon, and whether or not the J-po and Connor shit would in fact usher in a new age for twin cities. What's amazing to me is the thing I was so damned sure about turned out to be the one thing that didn't make it.
I'm trying to figure out exactly what's happened over the past year because it's gone by so freaking fast. I moved without a job and spent a ridiculous amount of time on the phone with Katie, trying to let her know things were going to be okay even when I was completely unsure. I hit the jobsearch and spent way too much time watching television while waiting for phone calls. I pawned damn near everything I owned to pay for food, booze, and gas. I got the job at TCF and got a facial-tick from stress (or rather, realized that I have one that my father has as well). I rediscovered how much I liked and missed the friends from Forks that moved down here (and how their drinking issues really dwarf mine, ahh reconnecting). I fought with Connor over what now seems like the most ridiculous things (who freaks out to the point of blasting music and yelling over putting a box in the trash instead of the recycling? honestly?). Had a couple of interesting trips back to ND and Valley/Jamestown. Had an amazing birthday with Dave and the contingent, even if I was being picked up by the MC of the drag show. Realized that the only times Connor and I weren't being passive-aggressive with each other or avoiding each other is when alcohol was involved. And ended up drunk and nearly getting into a fight for some reason at what was later hailed by the City Pages to be the best local show of the year.
And then I left and got a place with Katie. Ended up quitting work though I didn't want to stop working all together. I started school and struggled initially, though I'm now back to a level I'm happy with. New appliances, Katie getting a job, and having the quickest christmas that I can remember. And then Katie's father passed.
Most of my second quarter of school is a blur because of that. I just remember coming home as soon as I could, most nights, to help Katie and to be here. I'm still no good at funerals. Couple of notable visits from Sam, Cass, Katie's birthday back in December was quite fun. And now I'm spending a lot of time at the school in the studios taking on what will probably be my hardest quarter.
I haven't been to nearly as many live shows as I thought I would have. Initially it was because I didn't want to run into the wrong crowd, but now it's more about Katie's age and our financial situation (though I've been catching more shows at the Varsity now). I live 2 blocks away from the Turf and have only been there a handful of times even though my favorite acts go through there all the time. And I still miss not having the circle of friends I had back in Valley and Forks. I get out once and a while to Burnsville or going up north, but for the most part I don't drink unless it's a weekend. I even had beer in my fridge from February until about a week ago or so
There's more to my year, I'm sure, but I'm done rehashing or perhaps I've said too much already. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, splash some water on my face, head outside and try to take it all in. Is there I thought I'd be in a year? I wouldn't say so.
But man, what a year!
Looking back at the entries from last may and april really bring back a flood of memories (especially the comments section) as I was so unsure of so many things. Whether or not Katie and I would survive, if I would make it, if I would make friends, if I would have a job soon, and whether or not the J-po and Connor shit would in fact usher in a new age for twin cities. What's amazing to me is the thing I was so damned sure about turned out to be the one thing that didn't make it.
I'm trying to figure out exactly what's happened over the past year because it's gone by so freaking fast. I moved without a job and spent a ridiculous amount of time on the phone with Katie, trying to let her know things were going to be okay even when I was completely unsure. I hit the jobsearch and spent way too much time watching television while waiting for phone calls. I pawned damn near everything I owned to pay for food, booze, and gas. I got the job at TCF and got a facial-tick from stress (or rather, realized that I have one that my father has as well). I rediscovered how much I liked and missed the friends from Forks that moved down here (and how their drinking issues really dwarf mine, ahh reconnecting). I fought with Connor over what now seems like the most ridiculous things (who freaks out to the point of blasting music and yelling over putting a box in the trash instead of the recycling? honestly?). Had a couple of interesting trips back to ND and Valley/Jamestown. Had an amazing birthday with Dave and the contingent, even if I was being picked up by the MC of the drag show. Realized that the only times Connor and I weren't being passive-aggressive with each other or avoiding each other is when alcohol was involved. And ended up drunk and nearly getting into a fight for some reason at what was later hailed by the City Pages to be the best local show of the year.
And then I left and got a place with Katie. Ended up quitting work though I didn't want to stop working all together. I started school and struggled initially, though I'm now back to a level I'm happy with. New appliances, Katie getting a job, and having the quickest christmas that I can remember. And then Katie's father passed.
Most of my second quarter of school is a blur because of that. I just remember coming home as soon as I could, most nights, to help Katie and to be here. I'm still no good at funerals. Couple of notable visits from Sam, Cass, Katie's birthday back in December was quite fun. And now I'm spending a lot of time at the school in the studios taking on what will probably be my hardest quarter.
I haven't been to nearly as many live shows as I thought I would have. Initially it was because I didn't want to run into the wrong crowd, but now it's more about Katie's age and our financial situation (though I've been catching more shows at the Varsity now). I live 2 blocks away from the Turf and have only been there a handful of times even though my favorite acts go through there all the time. And I still miss not having the circle of friends I had back in Valley and Forks. I get out once and a while to Burnsville or going up north, but for the most part I don't drink unless it's a weekend. I even had beer in my fridge from February until about a week ago or so
There's more to my year, I'm sure, but I'm done rehashing or perhaps I've said too much already. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, splash some water on my face, head outside and try to take it all in. Is there I thought I'd be in a year? I wouldn't say so.
But man, what a year!