in which eeyore went to camp
Character: Eeyore
Series: Winnie the Pooh
Character Age: Donkey Counselor aged.
Job: Donkeys Against Dismemberment Representative
Canon: Welcome to the Hundred-Acre wood, a forest that's home of little talking animals that spend their time growing carrots, stealing honey, and teaching kids life lessons. Winnie the Pooh is a recount of the daily adventures of a little yellow bear and his friends.
One of his friends is the grey donkey, Eeyore. He's best described as a... constant downer. He spends the majority of his time being gloomy, passive and blunt. Having a party? He'll sigh about it. Made him a cake? He'll thank you, and then sigh about it. Most of his words are self-deprecating. Despite his rather cold front, he's an honestly friendly donkey. It's not that he doesn't like friends. He's just... very incapable of finding a ray of sunshine in anything. Pessimism is just one of this donkey's specialties. The other? Losing his detachable tail.
Sample Post:
Sigh. ‘llo and good afternoon, everyone. Except maybe not, because there’s a cloud there in the distance. Look at that cloud go. Drifting through the sky, blocking out the sun, making everyone’s day a little bit less sunny. It’s like the grey Eeyore of clouds. Probably not a very good introduction, and I’m sorry you have to go through that. There were probably better donkeys to choose from than me. Green donkeys, or purple Eeyores. Eeyores that would better fit into your farm. Eeyores that wouldn’t bring clouds into your sunny days.
And now I’m rambling. I’m sorry. There are probably better Eeyores out there, that wouldn’t ramble about other things. There’s a lot to cover, and here I am wasting everyone’s time. You probably have other people to listen to. I understand if you want to kick me out. I brought a cloud into your sky, and I’ll probably bring sugar in next. Breaking smiles, and now I’m breaking rules. Why do I bother.
Now that you know about how terrible I am, this probably won’t do anything. I’m Eeyore, and I’m here on behalf of Donkeys Against Dismemberment. I’m not sure what that means, but the paper they gave me said I should talk about losing your body parts. Suppose that means I should talk about losing your body parts. You probably hear about this all the time, and you’re probably all bored already. I shouldn’t be saying this, but I guess you can drop your ears. It’s okay, I won’t take it personally. Sigh. I know I’m no good. I would drop my ears too, but I can only drop my tail. That wouldn’t do anything. Just like me.
I should probably just get to the point. I can see your eyelids dropping. Literally, even. I’m sorry. I’m just here to say that you should value your limbs. Dropping them all over the place is no good. Not that I should be telling you that. They’re your arms. They’re your legs. And no one else can tell you how to use them. You’re not even Donkeys.
I didn’t even notice. And now I lost my tail. I didn’t even notice. I guess I’ll just wait for Tuesday. Maybe I’ll find it in the soup.
Maybe I’ll find a smile in there too.
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