035; [fanfic] Persona 4 -- His Swift Impetuous Male Yosukeness

Mar 10, 2009 00:23

Title: His Swift Impetuous Male Yosukeness
Fandom: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4
Characters: Yosuke with others
Wordcount: 1,853
Notes: Prompt from badbadbathhouse: "Japanese mythology with P4 characters playing the roles. Like Yosuke as Susano-oh vs. 8-headed-dragon?" I'm probably the only person on the meme nerdy enough to fill it.


Even by Yosuke's extremely skewed standards, this was really, really weird.

It had seemed like a usual Sunday at first, an altogether lovely day being that it was neither rainy nor foggy, and Yosuke had decided to head over to Souji's house for some impromptu studying (because they were certainly going to study and not do anything else, no of course not, that would be gay). He'd pulled up his bike and rested it against the wall that bordered the Dojimas' house, then gone up and rung the doorbell like he'd done so many times before.

That was when shit got weird.

Usually, when Yosuke went over to Souji's house unannounced, either Nanako or Souji himself would be the one to open the door and let him in. But this time it wasn't either one. Instead, Yosuke was met with the goofy puppy-dog face of Dojima's partner, Adachi. Except he looked decidedly less goofy and puppy-dog than usual. Was he... crying? What the hell?

"Uh, what the heck are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

Yosuke's words only seemed to make Adachi cry harder. Seriously, what the hell was going on here? Yosuke was about to shove past him when Dojima came to the door, his face also puffy and tear-stained. Glancing down, he saw that Nanako was there too, just as weepy as her father and his partner. "Oh, it's so terrible," Dojima said, his voice strained in a way Yosuke had never heard before. "You see, my partner and I used to have eight daughters together. But the eight-forked serpent has come every year to devour one. This child is the last one, and her time has nearly come." He dropped to his knees and embraced Nanako, and Adachi simply wailed in agony.

It took a few moment for Yosuke to collect his thoughts on the situation. "W- wait a minute, Dojima-san, you're saying that you had eight daughters with Adachi?!" Because that was pretty gay. Not that Yosuke would know anything about that. Uh, but that wasn't really the issue, was it? "And, er, that seven of them got eaten? By some snake thing?" After each of Yosuke's sentences, Adachi let out a grieved sob, each one louder and more obnoxious than the first.

"Yes, that is the truth of it," Dojima said, hugging Nanako tightly. "There is no way that we can save our daughter. She too will be devoured by the eight-forked serpent."

Seriously, what the hell? Yosuke frowned and tried to assess the situation, but all he could think was that this was definitely not what he had expected when he'd gotten up this morning. "Uh, well, there's gotta be a way we can save Nanako-chan. How about I go with her to see this snake thing?"

A pained look crossed Dojima's face, but he nodded. "If giving her to you can save our daughter, then I shall comply with your request."

"Uh, right." Since when did Dojima talk so funny? And seriously, what was Adachi's deal? So gay. Yosuke shook his head once quickly and reached down to take Nanako's hand. "C'mon, Nanako-chan, I'll protect you from the scary snake thing. Or whatever."

Both Adachi and Dojima lowered their heads in reverence as Yosuke turned to leave. This was so freaking weird. Well, okay, since it seemed like the universe was playing some elaborate prank on him, where could he go to find some weird eight-headed snake thing? The answer was obvious: in the same place that they found every other weird thing.

The electronics section of Junes was remarkably deserted, even by the usual standards, so it was easy to climb into the TV, pulling Nanako in after him. But now what? No one else was here, obviously, so there were very few choices as to where Yosuke could go. Finally he shrugged, took Nanako's hand, and started off in whatever direction felt natural, ignoring the fact that this was probably the worst plan ever.

He wasn't particularly surprised when he ended up at the twisted shopping district; it was where he'd faced his Shadow, where he'd awakened to his Persona, a place intrinsically connected to him. What he wasn't expecting was to see a familiar grey-haired figure standing in front of the Konishi liquor store. Further, he wasn't expecting Nanako to hide behind him and whisper in a terrified little-girl squeak, "That's him!"

Yosuke spluttered a bit before he could reply properly. "Souji's the eight-headed snake thing? But he's your big bro! You love him and stuff!"

Nanako stared up at Yosuke as if he'd suddenly grown seven extra heads himself. "He's scary! He ate my sisters! You gotta hide me!"

"H-hide you? But how? Where?" He kept a variety of additional questions unspoken: Why? Since when did you have sisters? What the heck is going on?!

The look she gave him was somehow scathing, or at least as scathing as a six-year-old girl could manage. "I thought you had a plan! Can't you turn me into a comb or something?"

"Uh, no, I can't turn you into a comb or something," Yosuke snapped back, not even thinking about the fact that this was Nanako he was talking to. Hell, maybe it wasn't Nanako. Bizarro-Nanako. Irritated, he glanced around the shopping district for something useful, until his eyes fell on a cardboard box with the Junes logo printed on the side. Only fleetingly thinking of what the hell a Junes box was doing in the shopping district, let alone the shopping district inside the TV, he picked it up, flipped it over, and threw it over Nanako's pigtailed head. "There, happy?"

A few muffled sounds of discontent came out of the box, but Yosuke just responded by pushing it down so that Nanako's legs were no longer visible. It wasn't a comb or whatever (seriously, who hid someone by turning them into a comb?), but it would have to do. And now that the bait was sufficiently hidden... wait, was that how this was supposed to work?

Setting all that aside for now, he had to figure out a way to defeat this eight-headed snake thing that just so happened to also be his best friend. Awkward. He took a few steps forward, but Souji was facing away and didn't notice him approach. They were standing two feet apart outside the Konishi liquor store, and Yosuke couldn't possibly feel more uncomfortable. "Uh, hey, partner..?"

Souji spun around at the sound, and Yosuke nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw that his friend's eyes were glowing yellow. Oh shit. "Well well, what have we here?" Souji said, his lips curling into a sinister smile. Just behind him, Yosuke could see the faint outline of something coming into being, something with green skin and a bunch of heads... oh. Oh. "Not the little girl I planned on devouring, but I suppose you'll do for now."

Thankful for his quick reflexes, Yosuke ducked out of the way as one of the serpent Persona's eight heads lunged forward to snap at him. He scrambled into the liquor store, Souji and Yamata-no-Orochi hot on his heels, and dashed to hide behind a stack of sake bottles. Neither the Persona nor Souji were deterred by this, however; two of the creature's great heads crashed back and forth through the display, shattering the bottles and splashing sake everywhere. "Did you really think I would fall for that?" Souji hissed, and Yosuke could almost swear that the Persona's heads were speaking along with him.

Yosuke didn't have time to think about what exactly the yellow-eyed Souji meant by that, because all of his mental processes were taken up by how exactly to get out of this mess. He reached under his jacket and pulled out his kunai, pulling himself up into a fighting stance and striking out towards one of the great heads, but neither Souji nor Yamata-no-Orochi seemed fazed, dodging easily out of the way of Yosuke's wild swings. Frustrated, Yosuke tossed one of the kunai into his left hand and reached out into the air with his right. "Go, Susano-o!"

The familiar brightly-colored being flashed into existence over Yosuke's head, and the Persona wasted no time in striking the serpent down with a mighty blast of wind. Yamata-no-Orochi visibly recoiled and broke into pieces before dissolving entirely, and Souji trembled before collapsing to the ground.

"Partner!" Yosuke shouted, rushing to Souji's side, his kunai clattering on the floor. He thought one of them might have broken, but it didn't particularly matter, not when his best friend was lying unconscious on the floor in the twisted liquor store and it was completely and totally his fault. Sure, Souji'd been all evil and stuff and apparently wanted to eat Nanako for some reason, but that all seemed irrelevant when he looked into that motionless face. It was then that he noticed the sword that Souji had been carrying, though he'd not used it in the fight; it was one that Yosuke had never seen before, beautiful and shining, and he reached out to take it from his friend's cold hand. It seemed like this was right, that the sword belonged to him somehow, and he felt a surge of power when holding it that contrasted strongly with the tears rolling down his face.

Somewhere far away, there was a voice. "Yosuke!" He ignored it at first, but it kept getting louder, more irritating. "Yosuke?! Helloooo, earth to Yosuke!"

And then Yosuke shot straight up, slamming against the hard back of his desk chair. Chie was leaning over him, hands on her hips, and Yukiko was hovering behind her, seconds away from bursting into laughter. "That was quite a nap you took, Yosuke-kun," Yukiko said, barely even getting the whole sentence out before giggling.

"Gosh, you were sleeping like the dead!" Chie said, frowning furiously. "Way to make an impression on Mr. Edogawa. You missed the whole lecture on the Kojiki!"

Oh, right. The school trip, with the boring nerdy teacher who wouldn't shut up about mythology. No wonder he didn't recognize the classroom. And also, well, all that weird shit had been a dream, so that was a relief. Still, he had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Where's Souji?"

Yukiko just giggled again, while Chie rolled her eyes and took a step to the side. Sure enough, Souji was standing right behind her, eyes not even the slightest bit yellow, an amused smirk on his face, and Yosuke was flooded with relief.

Even so, Yosuke couldn't help himself as they were walking out of the classroom. "Hey, partner?"

"Yeah?"

"You didn't get any weird new swords since the last time we went inside the TV, right?"

Souji blinked, clearly confused. "Not that I recall."

"And you don't want to devour Nanako?"

There was a longer pause this time. "No?"

"And Dojima never had eight kids with Adachi?"

This time Souji nearly choked with laughter. "I'm pretty sure my uncle hasn't had eight kids with Adachi, no."

"Just checking," Yosuke said with a nod.

badbadbathhouse, fanfiction, persona 4

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