I cracked
So yesterday after a long day of work I came home and did the usual. Went to the gym ran for a bit, did weights and then... I got a small panic attack thinking about all the things I needed to learn for this week. Then I started to freak out more than a little. So I get home, eat dinner and get ready to study. My brother comes in and says he needs help getting the ministers speech. Then my sister is like I need help with my vows. My back immediate starts to tense up. I go inside and start looking at the worms. I'm doing ok still. They look arlight. I'm getting annoyed as I hear this really loud laugh coming from my brothers home at the end of the house. I go to check and not only was there a huge group of people but the laughing was actually from the speakers they we blasting. Fine. I close all the doors from there to my room thinking it would be better. Then started the rumba music. The same fucking song. Over and over again. For like 30 minutes. I'm looking at the worms. I don't know a single one and they all seem the same. I start to freak out more. My eyes begin to water just from sheer exhaustion. So I try to study for another 15 minutes but minute by minute I become more panicked and even more aware of the music that's playing so very loudly in the background. Every other minute or so I hear someone screaming.
So I snapped.
I went outside and told everyone off for being so goddamn loud. Then I stormed back into my room packed my laptop and books, hospital badge and ran off. I started driving not knowing where to go and wishing that I put on work appropriate clothes. I went to the hospital and studied in the pathology library for a while and called my friends to tell them about my break down while I contemplated spending a night in my car.
When I finally calmed down this morning, I realized that I was just a big steaming scoop of crazy. Although I wasn't surprised when I had my blood drawn that it squirted like crazy. I have high blood pressure during the week.
So I snapped.
I went outside and told everyone off for being so goddamn loud. Then I stormed back into my room packed my laptop and books, hospital badge and ran off. I started driving not knowing where to go and wishing that I put on work appropriate clothes. I went to the hospital and studied in the pathology library for a while and called my friends to tell them about my break down while I contemplated spending a night in my car.
When I finally calmed down this morning, I realized that I was just a big steaming scoop of crazy. Although I wasn't surprised when I had my blood drawn that it squirted like crazy. I have high blood pressure during the week.