Bad Movies from Good Books
So several people fill up their journals with miscellaneous "Top Ten" lists. I scoff at such a practice. Instead, I give you my:
TOP ELEVEN BAD MOVIES FROM GOOD BOOKS
You know the kind I'm talking about. A book you love is going to be made as a movie, you're a little leery, but you give it a shot and find yourself asking "Did they even read the book?!" Or else you learn that a movie was based on a book and check it out only to find yourself wondering if you've picked up the wrong one as it seems to have nothing to do with the film you remember.
Now there's literally TONS of films to pick from, but I'm adding a few qualifiers. First, the movie needs to be a unique adaptation. It would be a waste to classify, for example, which versions of "A Christmas Carol" were good or bad. Second, the movie's badness has to stem from being different from the book; a bad movie based on a bad book doesn't count. (*cough*Twilight*cough*)
A will mention that I may bend these rules where it suits me. ^_^
Please note that the following will contain spoilers for both the books and movies.
So! Without further ado and in no particular order...
1) Logan's Run (1976)
I was shocked when I came across the original book by WF Nolan in the library years ago, and more shocked when I cracked it open. I guess I shouldn't be surprised: given that the book is all about underage sex, violence, and drug use - basically a sci-fi Lord of the Flies. If you've seen the movie, I'll just point out that, in the book, Lastday is on one's 21st birthday, not 30th; Box is a cybernetic serial killer, not an insane refrigerator, and the society is spread over the entire world, not just one domed city.
2) Wolfen (1981)
Witley Streiber's haunting novel of highly-evolved wolves being the origin of the werewolf myth gets dumbed down and turned into some kind of Native American eco-parable. Gone is the explanation of where the Wolfen come from, their past associations with humans, and their global reach. Instead, we get a sex scene with Albert Finney. *shudder*
3) Starship Troopers (1997)
I am forced to confess that when this movie first came out, I liked it. At the time, the idea of a co-ed military was thrillingly progressive and, of course, the visuals of giant killer bugs appealed to the sci-fi geek in me. Then I read Robert A. Heinlein's original. The thought-provoking look into this martial culture blew away the movie's lame attempt at gender-inclusion, and the descriptions of the "Bugs" as a technological society made the cartoonish monsters of the movie laughable.
4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Frankly the adaptation of this series to film has always been spotty. Really there's only so much you can do to fit a 300+ page book into two hours. But this one is simply where the wheels came off the wagon. The obvious hints at the identity of the villain aside, whole swaths of backstory were excised. I'll just point this out: since the movies have never established the presence of House Elves at Hogwarts or Hermione's founding of SPEW, how do the filmmakers intend to get to the big kiss scene in "Deathly Hallows?!" Not saying there's no way, just that it's going to be something far more blatant than JK Rowling had.
5) Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
Ooh! A movie, based on a book, about the elimination of books! What could possibly go wrong?! If ever a movie's existence made the point that it's plot couldn't it was this one. Let me share you one quote from Ray Bradbury's book: "The same infinite detail and awareness could be projected through the radios and televisors, but are not." Truer words...
6) Time Machine (2002)
Ok, breaking a rule here a little bit since there are at least two major versions of this (one from 1960), but this was SO bad I had to make a place for it. HG Wells' pioneering work in the genre of time travel and social allegory for the turn-of-the-century class war got turned into.... this. Some claptrap with fur-clad primitives and telepathic tunnel-dwellers.
7) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Yes, opening this category up to comic books presents a range of terrifying possibilities, but this is one beyond the pale. Alan Moore's highly literate fantasy with hundreds of details for the wary to spot was stripped for parts and turned into a sad, final note for Sean Connery's career.
8) Manhunter (1986)
Another bit of a cheat, since Thomas Harris's book was remade under it's own title, "Red Dragon," in 2002. Also, it's really not that bad a movie. But two things get it on this list. First, it shares with it's recently remade sibling a complete lack at the view inside the head of the killer which made the book so powerful. Second, it's psychological thriller aspect goes out the window for a major SWAT team shootout ending.
9) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Simply put: I dare you comprehend the ending without reading Arthur C. Clarke's book.
10) Congo (1995)
Really, a great number of Michael Crichton's books could go here, but I like to single this one out for special notice. You really have to hand it to the screenwriters who managed to find everything that made the novel interesting and excise it before putting it to film. Seriously, after you see Bruce Campbell get his head crushed in the first five minuets, there's nothing else worth staying around for.
11) Jumper (2008)
Having just seen the movie, I was absolutely shocked when I read Steven Gould's book. Beyond the title, name of the main character and the idea of teleportation, the book and film have NOTHING in common! In the movie, David realized he can teleport when he escapes drowning in a frozen river. In the book, it's when he escapes being gang-raped by a bunch of men at a truck stop. Slightly different character development. Most shocking was my dawning realization in reading the book that the "Paladins" the secret society in the movie that hunt Jumpers don't exist in the book! Here, David is the only one of his kind. And his mother, rather than being secretly his enemy, is killed in a terrorist attack at an airport and he spends the rest of the book trying to bring her killer to justice. Still, I highly recommend you try and find the original. And it's sequel "Reflex."
So that's all I've got! Any comments? Questions? Additions to the list?
TOP ELEVEN BAD MOVIES FROM GOOD BOOKS
You know the kind I'm talking about. A book you love is going to be made as a movie, you're a little leery, but you give it a shot and find yourself asking "Did they even read the book?!" Or else you learn that a movie was based on a book and check it out only to find yourself wondering if you've picked up the wrong one as it seems to have nothing to do with the film you remember.
Now there's literally TONS of films to pick from, but I'm adding a few qualifiers. First, the movie needs to be a unique adaptation. It would be a waste to classify, for example, which versions of "A Christmas Carol" were good or bad. Second, the movie's badness has to stem from being different from the book; a bad movie based on a bad book doesn't count. (*cough*Twilight*cough*)
A will mention that I may bend these rules where it suits me. ^_^
Please note that the following will contain spoilers for both the books and movies.
So! Without further ado and in no particular order...
1) Logan's Run (1976)
I was shocked when I came across the original book by WF Nolan in the library years ago, and more shocked when I cracked it open. I guess I shouldn't be surprised: given that the book is all about underage sex, violence, and drug use - basically a sci-fi Lord of the Flies. If you've seen the movie, I'll just point out that, in the book, Lastday is on one's 21st birthday, not 30th; Box is a cybernetic serial killer, not an insane refrigerator, and the society is spread over the entire world, not just one domed city.
2) Wolfen (1981)
Witley Streiber's haunting novel of highly-evolved wolves being the origin of the werewolf myth gets dumbed down and turned into some kind of Native American eco-parable. Gone is the explanation of where the Wolfen come from, their past associations with humans, and their global reach. Instead, we get a sex scene with Albert Finney. *shudder*
3) Starship Troopers (1997)
I am forced to confess that when this movie first came out, I liked it. At the time, the idea of a co-ed military was thrillingly progressive and, of course, the visuals of giant killer bugs appealed to the sci-fi geek in me. Then I read Robert A. Heinlein's original. The thought-provoking look into this martial culture blew away the movie's lame attempt at gender-inclusion, and the descriptions of the "Bugs" as a technological society made the cartoonish monsters of the movie laughable.
4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Frankly the adaptation of this series to film has always been spotty. Really there's only so much you can do to fit a 300+ page book into two hours. But this one is simply where the wheels came off the wagon. The obvious hints at the identity of the villain aside, whole swaths of backstory were excised. I'll just point this out: since the movies have never established the presence of House Elves at Hogwarts or Hermione's founding of SPEW, how do the filmmakers intend to get to the big kiss scene in "Deathly Hallows?!" Not saying there's no way, just that it's going to be something far more blatant than JK Rowling had.
5) Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
Ooh! A movie, based on a book, about the elimination of books! What could possibly go wrong?! If ever a movie's existence made the point that it's plot couldn't it was this one. Let me share you one quote from Ray Bradbury's book: "The same infinite detail and awareness could be projected through the radios and televisors, but are not." Truer words...
6) Time Machine (2002)
Ok, breaking a rule here a little bit since there are at least two major versions of this (one from 1960), but this was SO bad I had to make a place for it. HG Wells' pioneering work in the genre of time travel and social allegory for the turn-of-the-century class war got turned into.... this. Some claptrap with fur-clad primitives and telepathic tunnel-dwellers.
7) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Yes, opening this category up to comic books presents a range of terrifying possibilities, but this is one beyond the pale. Alan Moore's highly literate fantasy with hundreds of details for the wary to spot was stripped for parts and turned into a sad, final note for Sean Connery's career.
8) Manhunter (1986)
Another bit of a cheat, since Thomas Harris's book was remade under it's own title, "Red Dragon," in 2002. Also, it's really not that bad a movie. But two things get it on this list. First, it shares with it's recently remade sibling a complete lack at the view inside the head of the killer which made the book so powerful. Second, it's psychological thriller aspect goes out the window for a major SWAT team shootout ending.
9) 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Simply put: I dare you comprehend the ending without reading Arthur C. Clarke's book.
10) Congo (1995)
Really, a great number of Michael Crichton's books could go here, but I like to single this one out for special notice. You really have to hand it to the screenwriters who managed to find everything that made the novel interesting and excise it before putting it to film. Seriously, after you see Bruce Campbell get his head crushed in the first five minuets, there's nothing else worth staying around for.
11) Jumper (2008)
Having just seen the movie, I was absolutely shocked when I read Steven Gould's book. Beyond the title, name of the main character and the idea of teleportation, the book and film have NOTHING in common! In the movie, David realized he can teleport when he escapes drowning in a frozen river. In the book, it's when he escapes being gang-raped by a bunch of men at a truck stop. Slightly different character development. Most shocking was my dawning realization in reading the book that the "Paladins" the secret society in the movie that hunt Jumpers don't exist in the book! Here, David is the only one of his kind. And his mother, rather than being secretly his enemy, is killed in a terrorist attack at an airport and he spends the rest of the book trying to bring her killer to justice. Still, I highly recommend you try and find the original. And it's sequel "Reflex."
So that's all I've got! Any comments? Questions? Additions to the list?