(no subject)
- my knuckle isn't killing me anymore, but still hurts a little when it gets bumped.
- almost cut the tip of my finger off with a rotary cutter. which is pretty much a round razor blade. all i did was graze the tip of my middle finger (same middle finger with the hurt knuckle) and scrape off a few layers of skin. it bled a bit but DAYUM. like a paper cut over a larger area. so i went all Sabu on it and sealed it off with superglue. because there are only the teeny-tiny bandaids left, and they don't stick worth the shit. i should buy some but guess what? i'm broke!
- it's going to be a long week. there's no money. DSS supposedly has a check for me but i've yet to recieve it. i need food. i have five dollars and change in my bank account, i'll but milk with it later, after i see the shrink.
i'm going to get my phone cut off if i don't give them some money. i have to rip off my landlord... again... there's a saying, "Robbing Peter to pay Paul" and it totally applies to my life the last few months. i swear, once i get back on my feet, i will never bitch about being broke again.
- finally got an antenna to go along with my digital TV converter box. i set it all up last night and i get one and a half stations. apparently i need some super antenna to pick up any signals. i might fuck arounf with it later today. last night i was so mad at the whole thing that i could have broken something.
- i've been on edge and angry lately. i'm supposed to be happy that the kid is back but i'm more miserable than ever. i know things will get better but for the time being, it hurts to not eat to feed my kid, and he complains about being hungry all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. i don't understand how a bowl of cereal fills me up but not a six year old. he doens't understand the concept of "save some for later". i can only hope that he learns someday that he can't just stuff his face all the time because i can't just go run out and buy food.
we talk a lot about what we would get if we had a lot of money, or if everything was free. he thinks it's unfair we can't order pizza for delivery. he doesn't think it's fair that i had the last bowl of cereal because i need to eat too. these are shitty things to have to explain to a little kid.
at least i got him to do his homework last night.
and he's so adorable, and a sweetheart when he's not being a little jerk. i'm trying so hard to encourage the good and ignore the bad but it doesn't seem to work. it's going to take a long time for me to un-do the things that have been done to him in the last two years.
- almost cut the tip of my finger off with a rotary cutter. which is pretty much a round razor blade. all i did was graze the tip of my middle finger (same middle finger with the hurt knuckle) and scrape off a few layers of skin. it bled a bit but DAYUM. like a paper cut over a larger area. so i went all Sabu on it and sealed it off with superglue. because there are only the teeny-tiny bandaids left, and they don't stick worth the shit. i should buy some but guess what? i'm broke!
- it's going to be a long week. there's no money. DSS supposedly has a check for me but i've yet to recieve it. i need food. i have five dollars and change in my bank account, i'll but milk with it later, after i see the shrink.
i'm going to get my phone cut off if i don't give them some money. i have to rip off my landlord... again... there's a saying, "Robbing Peter to pay Paul" and it totally applies to my life the last few months. i swear, once i get back on my feet, i will never bitch about being broke again.
- finally got an antenna to go along with my digital TV converter box. i set it all up last night and i get one and a half stations. apparently i need some super antenna to pick up any signals. i might fuck arounf with it later today. last night i was so mad at the whole thing that i could have broken something.
- i've been on edge and angry lately. i'm supposed to be happy that the kid is back but i'm more miserable than ever. i know things will get better but for the time being, it hurts to not eat to feed my kid, and he complains about being hungry all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. i don't understand how a bowl of cereal fills me up but not a six year old. he doens't understand the concept of "save some for later". i can only hope that he learns someday that he can't just stuff his face all the time because i can't just go run out and buy food.
we talk a lot about what we would get if we had a lot of money, or if everything was free. he thinks it's unfair we can't order pizza for delivery. he doesn't think it's fair that i had the last bowl of cereal because i need to eat too. these are shitty things to have to explain to a little kid.
at least i got him to do his homework last night.
and he's so adorable, and a sweetheart when he's not being a little jerk. i'm trying so hard to encourage the good and ignore the bad but it doesn't seem to work. it's going to take a long time for me to un-do the things that have been done to him in the last two years.