(no subject)
serious update ahead: proceed at your own risk.
today there was a review type thing. the kids are in the process of having 'trauma evaluations', taking several appointments and questioning of doctors, psychologists, parents, and teachers. today was my questions.
i was convinced i was going in there to be cornered by these two women... cornered, berated with questions and accusations and be forced into admitting to things that never happened. this was not the case however. it was realitively painless. questions and answers. pretty straight forward. i didn't voulenteer information. i was extremely aware of the fact that everything said will appear in the eventual (and i imagine several hundred page) report to the court.
one question that really got me was about who supported me after having babies. me? you mean... people are supposed to care about the mother? i thought it was all about the baby? no, no one gave a shit that i was in labour six days. no one cared that i pushed for hours apon hours. no one cared that i was in the worst mental state of my life. i was shocked. no one cares about the mother. everyone was just so happy to see that i had done my humanly duty of providing offspring that i was swept asside, i guess. i thought being told to get over it was all that new mothers deserved?
not that i'm bitter.
aaaanyway, other shit?
- finished painting the bathroom finally. no pics, because it looks about the same. just white instead of that off-white. i'm not entirely happy with it, because i seem to still be able to see some of the yellowness coming through. i have not completely decided if i want to do fancy trim or not. also, there was not enough paint to paint the door, so it is still that yucky colour. i need more paint, not just for that door, but for the unpainted, still wood back door as well.
- i finally have bedroom doors. they're nice doors too. surprised, considering the back door is cheap as hell.
- my back has gotten to the point of rediculousness. i'm seriously looking into finding a specialist for it. someone that will actually care about the back, and not just give me pills and tell me to go on a diet. just... ugh. i'm way, way too young to be in this much pain. walking is hard sometimes. i can't make appointments first thing in the morning, because i can barely walk first thing in the morning. i'm honestly afraid of being crippled by the time i'm 40. that's only a decade away.
- my mother needs to stop telling me how my house shall be decorated as well. we did some shopping on Sat... yard sales and Building 19. in the store she went on and on and on and on and ON AND ON about how i need curtains. "a house isn't a home without curtains!" and no. i have blinds! i don't need ugly shit hanging also. that blocks out light. and collects dust. and is ugly. same thing with a bath rug. um hello? see this towel? that's it. rugs get wet and moldy and smell. RUGS DO NOT BELONG IN BATHROOMS. or kitchens, for that matter. oh and how i need a rug for the toilet. EW? christ. "so when i come over my feet don't get cold..." wait, whose house is this?
- i got a copy of Mick Foley's Halloween Hijinks for $2. also several pairs of amazingly obnoxious tights for a buck a piece. and several pairs of underwears. at the aformentioned Building 19. i love that place.
- oh, and i had my own psyche eval also. psychlogical evaluation. it was fun actually. drawing and blocks and pretty pictures and math. he discovered my problem with numbers, lol. not much to report with this. i'm afraid i'll be declared un-crazy, then i'll be fucked because i'll have to work 80 hours a week at minimum wage to make just rent.
- i changed the starting sound for Windows. instead of that horrible, overly loud, extremely bad and ear-killing "Microsoft Sound", i changed it. to the Star Spangled Banner. the first two lines. by Jimi Hendrix. which sounds amazing when i first get up in the AM. and it makes me rediculously, disproportionately happy.
today there was a review type thing. the kids are in the process of having 'trauma evaluations', taking several appointments and questioning of doctors, psychologists, parents, and teachers. today was my questions.
i was convinced i was going in there to be cornered by these two women... cornered, berated with questions and accusations and be forced into admitting to things that never happened. this was not the case however. it was realitively painless. questions and answers. pretty straight forward. i didn't voulenteer information. i was extremely aware of the fact that everything said will appear in the eventual (and i imagine several hundred page) report to the court.
one question that really got me was about who supported me after having babies. me? you mean... people are supposed to care about the mother? i thought it was all about the baby? no, no one gave a shit that i was in labour six days. no one cared that i pushed for hours apon hours. no one cared that i was in the worst mental state of my life. i was shocked. no one cares about the mother. everyone was just so happy to see that i had done my humanly duty of providing offspring that i was swept asside, i guess. i thought being told to get over it was all that new mothers deserved?
not that i'm bitter.
aaaanyway, other shit?
- finished painting the bathroom finally. no pics, because it looks about the same. just white instead of that off-white. i'm not entirely happy with it, because i seem to still be able to see some of the yellowness coming through. i have not completely decided if i want to do fancy trim or not. also, there was not enough paint to paint the door, so it is still that yucky colour. i need more paint, not just for that door, but for the unpainted, still wood back door as well.
- i finally have bedroom doors. they're nice doors too. surprised, considering the back door is cheap as hell.
- my back has gotten to the point of rediculousness. i'm seriously looking into finding a specialist for it. someone that will actually care about the back, and not just give me pills and tell me to go on a diet. just... ugh. i'm way, way too young to be in this much pain. walking is hard sometimes. i can't make appointments first thing in the morning, because i can barely walk first thing in the morning. i'm honestly afraid of being crippled by the time i'm 40. that's only a decade away.
- my mother needs to stop telling me how my house shall be decorated as well. we did some shopping on Sat... yard sales and Building 19. in the store she went on and on and on and on and ON AND ON about how i need curtains. "a house isn't a home without curtains!" and no. i have blinds! i don't need ugly shit hanging also. that blocks out light. and collects dust. and is ugly. same thing with a bath rug. um hello? see this towel? that's it. rugs get wet and moldy and smell. RUGS DO NOT BELONG IN BATHROOMS. or kitchens, for that matter. oh and how i need a rug for the toilet. EW? christ. "so when i come over my feet don't get cold..." wait, whose house is this?
- i got a copy of Mick Foley's Halloween Hijinks for $2. also several pairs of amazingly obnoxious tights for a buck a piece. and several pairs of underwears. at the aformentioned Building 19. i love that place.
- oh, and i had my own psyche eval also. psychlogical evaluation. it was fun actually. drawing and blocks and pretty pictures and math. he discovered my problem with numbers, lol. not much to report with this. i'm afraid i'll be declared un-crazy, then i'll be fucked because i'll have to work 80 hours a week at minimum wage to make just rent.
- i changed the starting sound for Windows. instead of that horrible, overly loud, extremely bad and ear-killing "Microsoft Sound", i changed it. to the Star Spangled Banner. the first two lines. by Jimi Hendrix. which sounds amazing when i first get up in the AM. and it makes me rediculously, disproportionately happy.