(no subject)
112 PICTURES
2600 WORDS
ONE SERIOUS FANGIRL
PLENTY OF INSANITY
hey yo. this is my crappy little report on the CHIKARA show i went to Friday night, May 23rd.
earlier that day, i saw a car wreck downtown. everyone's looking (including me) and i start a chant (to myself anyway) RUB-BER NECK-ING! *clap clap clapclapclap*
i chose an alternate route to get there, because it was rush hour, and the traffic on 128 would have been a parking lot. so i took 495 instead. the northbound direction was bumper to bumper, and i was laughing to myself, "hahaa, you're stuck in traffic!"
then it was my turn to get stuck in traffic. i was not so happy about it. the cars on the opposite side of the highway were also stopped. we were separated by a Jersey barrier and some chain link fencing. i waved at all them as we passed each other. no one waved back. LOSERS! the traffic only lasted fifteen or so minutes, then mysteriously let up again.
before i was stuck in traffic, it was raining. it was sunny out with ONE lonely angry black rain cloud... and it fucked POURED under that cloud. blinding rain. wind driven rain. scary part was when i couldn't get the wipers to work properly. in driving rain. going 70mph, in the fast lane. skurry but i figured it out and was okay after. just like the traffic, it was a random patch and cleared up as suddenly as it started.
directions i had written down, i lost the while in the car. i made it from the highway into Framingham without them. then i pulled into a supermarket and looked for them (they were in my purse the whole time). then i went in the store to use the facilities. and i puked while i was in there. i had to tell myself (again) to calm down. then i went back to the car, put on some makeup, ate a power bar, and drank some Gatorade.
then i went back on the road.. i ended up driving past the place a few times. the first time i ended up back on this divided surface road with no place to turn around in seven miles. but then i was back at the beginning so i retraced my steps.
i drove around the block several times, trying to find which building the show was in. it would have been nice if there was a little sign or something somewhere, "wrestling here"... but no such thing existed. however, i knew i had found the right place because Jorge Rivera was pacing the sidewalk outside the place, wearing his ring gear and talking on a cell.
i was a little late for the show, and missed most of 2.0 vs those Egyptians, Amasis the pharaoh and Ophidian the snake. i caught that 2.0 lost (there's a shock), and them telling each other that it was alright, "it was a moral victory~!" i also got there in time to hear Jagged tell Bryce to shut up.
Before that though, i bought a ticket. the jobber selling tickets? Mister Chikarison himself. i did say hi to him, just like that. "Hey, it's Mister Chikarison!" "fifteen dollars plz." "i'm late." "it's okay, this is still the first match, plenty of action yet to come."
i tried to find a seat that was relatively close to the commentary table, and not opposite from the hard cam. i was practically next to the table (and got some good shots of the peoples commentating). and i couldn't find the hard cam. "wtf?". then i looked up, saw a balcony, and there was the cam. even though there was a sign that said, "DO NOT USE BALCONY". silly SMV, and i'm glad it didn't collapse or anything.
i could only hear some of the commentary though. like Louden, who was... loud. and the occasional outburst. Quack was out there a few times and i barely heard him at all. something about soft-spoken. i heard Bryce loud and clear, making fun of the "pahk the cah in the gahhhden" accent.
commentary pics:
Bryce and Shayne Hawk. he was cute in his glasses. another pic, blurry but i like it.
Louden Noxious and Jimmy "The Other Olsen" Olsen. note the Dunkin Donuts' coffee beside Jimmy. "you should try some of this great dunkin donuts coffee!" "are you getting paid for that endorsement?" also, Jimmy was in bare feet and i could see his toes, which made me happy.
Louden and Bryce need to take to the chairs, to see eight spot monkeys on the floor on the opposite side of the ring.
Louden Noxious and Chuck Taylor.
Quack and Chikarison. did i mention Chikarison's hair doesn't look as fake in real life? astonishing.
Quack and Louden. poor ADD crack monkey barely kept still all night. though should i really expect people involved in a wrestling show to sit still?
second match was The Artist Formally Known as Equinox, Vin Gerard, verses Create-A-Wrestler. he'll be anything you want him to be. Vin asks "who do you think you are?!?" and he replies "Moscow...?" Vin gets "take a shower" chants. at least my pics got better though the night. kinda.
then we had Icarus vs Jimmy Olsen. He needs his twin brother Colin to come back. the wiseasses in the crowd asked Icarus when he will finish his tattoo. lolz. it was a decent match, nothing spectacular. and look, i have one more pic from the match. after Jimmy won, Mister Chikarison himself came out to congratulate him and tell him he was in the Young Lion's Cup this year.
next was Team FIST (Akuma and Chuck Taylor) versus Lince Dorado and Turbo (Turbo being the only one i've never heard of on the whole show). i couldn't seem to get a good picture of either it seems. but i got plenty of Chucky T. (one, two, three), because he was yelling at the kids in our section. i got some pics of Akuma also. this was a good match, classic good guys vs bad guys. Lince didn't break himself or anyone else. Akuma looks kinda funny when he's concentrating on a move. this move somehow actually came out good in pictures. oh, and here they are in one of them ghey moves in the corner.
then came intermission. i bought a DVD. i noticed that this year's Best of the Best tournament is out already (it was a few weeks ago). i asked if the ink was even dry on those yet, and the girl chuckled. i put the dvd in the car and as i was walking back i heard an announcement and thought to myself "shit, that is a BRIEF intermission." but when i returned they hadn't started up again. but Amasis was walking his pet snake (Ophidian) and greeting with the kids and making small talk with the crowd. Ophidian slithers under the ring and the Pharaoh (assisted by some kids) went looking for him for ten minutes. but they found him, silly snake.
next half started with the Kaiju Big Battel Space Pirates (which, if i could find out these creature's names, i'd tell you. but it seems they don't exist on the internet, even on their site), versus Hydra and Tim Donst. someone tell me why Donst is in the Neo Solar Temple, wearing Sting-esque makeup?
the half also introduced a different ring announcer... Louden Noxious! and i fell in love lust. he's so very rockstar, and he really got the crowd going. like any good obnoxious loud freak can. just the way he did the announcing though, he was very into it. what a set of pipes on this guy. and a personality that demanded attention.
this match was funny as hell. there was a test of strength (with a child's toy version of the strongman carnival gimmick, with the hammer and the bell)... and a game of chicken involving tricycles. this was right behind me. i got no pics because i was too busy laughing my head off and having a good time.
then after the space pirates lost... there was an appearance by the one.. the only... DOCTOR CUBE! which was my mark-out moment for the night. he yelled at his monsters for losing, and told one of them that he would take back the last ten IQ points he had given... then he proceeded on slapping them.
Mantis wasn't there. but that's okay. sorta :(
then there was the eight man clusterfuck tag match. the gimmick of this match was that four tag teams were split and placed on separate teams. so there was the 'working against your partner' dynamic. Team A was Quack, Cheech, Worker Ant, and Stupefied. Team B was Shane Storm, Cloudy, Solider Ant, and Player Uno. this match was insane, all flippety and spots and action and amazingness. Soilder Ant kept saluting Quack mid-move, and Quack got sick of it really quick, and tied him up in some wacky Lucha submission. but they shook hands, all in sportsmanship. this match had ants fighting ants. they made up after though. this insane corner move was awesome, even if they moved too fast to get a good shot. then Cloudy tries to do the Colony's finisher, but needs more practice according to Louden the commentator. Player Uno was not paused once during this match, however he did asked Stupefied in a strained voice, "what are you doing? i thought we were partners!" i freely admitting to taking this blatant picture of this ant's booty. this match was exciting and full of indy goodness.
random pics from before, during, and after this match... one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
next up was Jorge Rivera and El Pantera in a lucha tech clinic. i have this shot of Pantera's legs, because he did a handstand for an absurd length of time. I'm such a mark for this move. and even with the old men, they were too fast sometimes to get a good shot of. this match was intense and a great way to break the pace between two multiperson clusterfuck matches. here's a string of pictures. i managed to get some decent ones because wacky lucha submissions are easier to focus on than wacky lucha spot-monketry. one, two, three, four, five, six. there were several teased two and a half DOUBLE counts, and the match eventually ended in a double pin draw. the crowd booooed badly, surprising me because i think it was a good way to end that match, with no clear-cut better man, left to be decided another day, but for right now, we both kick ass , kind of ending. they said something about the rematch and the people cheered and it got a little quiet until Mister Noxious got back on the mic and put them over as loud as he could to make everyone cheer to shut him up.
main event time! Fabulous Two and Brodie Lee vs Incoherence and Claudio Castagnoli~! The fabulous two enter first, fabulous as usual. and boy were they. fabulous is as fabulous does. they did a great job at pissing off the crowd, and Mitch Ryder scared/yelled at the kids more than Chuck Taylor did. and nothing gets cheap heel heat like wearing a New York shirt in and around the Boston area.
then Brodie Lee came out, and no one really cared. not even Brodie himself. i kid, i kid.
then Incohearence came out. there was this spare, overly tall and muscular Delirious running around though. and running they did... jumping... chasing opponents and kids... the usual Delirious entrance. the two Deliriouseses did the mirror routine, not perfect but still funny. then the big Delirious takes off his mask to reveal... Claudio! and a great HEY~! was heard.
and let's not forget, how to get cheap face pops? wear a Boston jersey.
Brodie and Claudio were a good matchup and had some nice exchanges of strikes. serious wrestling, they can do it! i tried to get a good pic of Claudio's giant swing... which went on, and on, and on, and on... and on, and on... but teh blurz got me again! Shayne kept slapping Hallowicked, apologizing for it after, then slapping him again. Delirious ate Mitch's hand three times, one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner. here's some more mid-match pics (one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.)
after the match, Delirious was dragging Shayne around the ring. and they also stood on the ropes to show off their shiny titles.
and that was it. they started taking down the ring before people were even out of their seats. there were some wrestlers in the lobby shaking hands and such. i went into the ladies' room, came out... and they were all gone. poopy.
driving home was much, much less adventurous than driving down. and i was fifteen minutes early picking my dad up from work.
additional notes that i'm adding to this addition:
- i could feel the floor shake when they landed on the floor (i could also feel it less so when they bumped in the ring). it added this dimension to the show that one can't get watching the DVDs.
- little thing amuse me. like the hand signals given between the SMV crew to get the cameras in sync. i blame CSI for making me notice the little things.
- there was this issue with people staying still long enough for a picture to be taken. i tried a few different camera settings also, none seemed to do what i wanted (which was to just take the damn picture when i press the button). i'd point and click... the camera would think, focus... focus... think... then the guys are on the other side of the ring. so i put the camera down... and get a nice shot of the floor. i must have deleted three dozen pictures like this through the night.
- a few of the matches were short, but none were bad. nothing seemed phoned in. they all seemed psyched, like there was nothing more they wanted to be doing than wrestling there for the (maybe?) 100 people there. Quack didn't get a whole lot of time in the match he was in, and he seemed to be in pain. i can understand wanting to take it easy. and no, i'm not disappointed.
- about missed moves and botches: there were a few, but you know something? they weren't scary or match-threatening. to me, it's not about the botch, it's about how one recovers from it and goes on with the match. i notice on TV (in particular, one big fed that begins with a W), when they miss a move, they seem lost. not these kids. pick right back up and pull off a different move. and the fans that shit on botches, i dare them to go wrestle without fucking up a little. because i know they couldn't do even an eighth of what these kids can do.
- additional pics:
some secret meeting of the minds.
the beautiful Louden SIGH.
one, two spare Bryce pics.
the Photobucket album with all the pics from the show.
EDIT!!!~: (five days later)
found out the Kaiju monster names!! quoted directly from the sorce, Louden himself,
The monsters in question are indeed Dr Cube's evil aboninations The Grudyin (1/2 angler fish, half silverback gorilla) & Tucor (1/2 tucan and 1/2 gerbil) and sadly for the evil Dr, they were handed defeat in Framingham.