Think About It: You Got Mailbag in My Internet
That's right, friends, it's that time again! Time to delve into the Think About It Central E-Mailbag. As we all know, we here have to do this every so often because we just get deluged with e-mail here at Think About It Central from people struggling with personal quandries and desperate for answers. And sometimes because we've only got bits and pieces of things worth talking about and not an entire column's worth.
Dear Blake,
I remember last November following your progress with National Novel Writing Month. I'm taking the challenge myself this year, and I was wondering if you had any suggestions for us intrepid souls that will be joining you in this year's adventure.
Scribblin' Steve.
Steve,
Yes, I do have some tips. First of all, it's "We intrepid souls." And you call yourself a writer?
Second of all, don't get too hung up on the word count aspect. The goal for NaNoWriMo (pronounced: "EEEE-argh!"), is to write a complete 50,000-word novel in the month of November. That averages out to about 1,667 words a day. But when you begin your writing for the day, don't just start counting. Don't worry about the numbers at all. Just get yourself lost in your characters, your world, and start plugging away. Ride the creative juices as long as you can, and eventually, you'll find yourself coming to a natural stopping place. Then, and only then, do a word count. Nine times out of ten, you'll find you've already surpassed your word goal for the day, freeing you to go out and have a margarita. And on that one time you haven't hit your goal, take out your frustration by smashing up your neighbor's garbage can with a baseball bat. You'll have more time to write in prison.
Mr. Petit,
You've been teaching now for nearly three months. It seems to me that in that time, you're bound to have had several noteworthy episodes and escapades. What's the most entertaining thing to have happened to you so far
Curious Cevin.
Cevin,
First of all, congratulations! You win this week's Think About It Central Most Unnecessarily Misspelled Name Award!
It's hard to really narrow down my many teaching adventures to just one incident. What do I mention? Was it the child who wrote, as a test answer, "That movie with Ice T and that guy from Men in Black?" Is it the geography student who wrote on a test that we have two states named after portions of the female anatomy? The pep rally where a cheerleader screamed at the students to be quiet so she could talk, prompting every single teacher in the school to think, "Now you know how it feels?"
No, I think the single most entertaining moment was when I was asked to fill in for a civics class on my preparation period, only to walk into the room and find that the students' only project was to watch You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown. Hey, they were quiet, they paid attention and they were watching something about a trillion times more cultural than what they usually watch. I considered it a win.
Blake,
A while back, you mentioned that you were having trouble deciding on a Halloween costume. Did you ever solve that conundrum?
Spooky Stan.
Stanley,
As a matter of fact, Stan, I did select a costume. After finding a really nifty mask, I duded myself up like Mike Migniola's Hellboy, which you would have known already if you'd been reading the entries in the Think About It Central Halloween Party, you jerk. But it was a nifty costume and far more successful than last year's Marv getup from Sin City. And I only briefly feared for my immortal soul when I walked into the door wearing my red, rubber demon's head only to encounter the priest who married my sister and her husband two months ago.
Unfortunately, the school didn't allow masks, so I reverted to my Indiana Jones costume from two years ago for the day of Halloween. This actually turned out to be a stroke of luck, when we had a fourth-period fire drill. Marching out to the football stadium in black leather and red rubber in 88 degree heat would have been a disaster. On the other hand, it's a sad commentary on society that a pitifully small number of students recognized Indy. Several actually guessed that I was Steve Irwin, the late Crocodile Hunter, which was preposterous. Only a true beast, with a heart black as midnight and a soul devoid of any scant, remaining vestige of humanity, could think it's appropriate to make fun of his death so soon. For example, Bill Mahr.
Blake,
I live in Maine, but I've always loved New Orleans. Do you think you could close this week's column with an obscure regional reference that only people from the New Orleans area have even the vaguest chance of comprehending?
Expatriate Ed
Ed,
Sure.
Thanks.
No problem.
How freaking long has Kirshman's Furniture been going out of business? Sixteen other stores have opened and closed in the time since they began airing their "Kirshman's Bye-Bye" ads. If this keeps up much longer, the remaining two locations won't have to worry about liquidating their stock because the populace is going to burn them down.
Wow. You're right, nobody's going to have the slightest idea what you're talking about.
Yes, I know.
Blake M. Petit did, finally, decide on a costume, and will provide pictures from the Halloween Party for Sunday's Halloween Party feature. You know you're salivating. Contact him with comments or suggestions at BlakePT@cox.net, visit him on the web at Evertime Realms, or visit the Evertime Livejournal,
blakemp.
Dear Blake,
I remember last November following your progress with National Novel Writing Month. I'm taking the challenge myself this year, and I was wondering if you had any suggestions for us intrepid souls that will be joining you in this year's adventure.
Scribblin' Steve.
Steve,
Yes, I do have some tips. First of all, it's "We intrepid souls." And you call yourself a writer?
Second of all, don't get too hung up on the word count aspect. The goal for NaNoWriMo (pronounced: "EEEE-argh!"), is to write a complete 50,000-word novel in the month of November. That averages out to about 1,667 words a day. But when you begin your writing for the day, don't just start counting. Don't worry about the numbers at all. Just get yourself lost in your characters, your world, and start plugging away. Ride the creative juices as long as you can, and eventually, you'll find yourself coming to a natural stopping place. Then, and only then, do a word count. Nine times out of ten, you'll find you've already surpassed your word goal for the day, freeing you to go out and have a margarita. And on that one time you haven't hit your goal, take out your frustration by smashing up your neighbor's garbage can with a baseball bat. You'll have more time to write in prison.
Mr. Petit,
You've been teaching now for nearly three months. It seems to me that in that time, you're bound to have had several noteworthy episodes and escapades. What's the most entertaining thing to have happened to you so far
Curious Cevin.
Cevin,
First of all, congratulations! You win this week's Think About It Central Most Unnecessarily Misspelled Name Award!
It's hard to really narrow down my many teaching adventures to just one incident. What do I mention? Was it the child who wrote, as a test answer, "That movie with Ice T and that guy from Men in Black?" Is it the geography student who wrote on a test that we have two states named after portions of the female anatomy? The pep rally where a cheerleader screamed at the students to be quiet so she could talk, prompting every single teacher in the school to think, "Now you know how it feels?"
No, I think the single most entertaining moment was when I was asked to fill in for a civics class on my preparation period, only to walk into the room and find that the students' only project was to watch You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown. Hey, they were quiet, they paid attention and they were watching something about a trillion times more cultural than what they usually watch. I considered it a win.
Blake,
A while back, you mentioned that you were having trouble deciding on a Halloween costume. Did you ever solve that conundrum?
Spooky Stan.
Stanley,
As a matter of fact, Stan, I did select a costume. After finding a really nifty mask, I duded myself up like Mike Migniola's Hellboy, which you would have known already if you'd been reading the entries in the Think About It Central Halloween Party, you jerk. But it was a nifty costume and far more successful than last year's Marv getup from Sin City. And I only briefly feared for my immortal soul when I walked into the door wearing my red, rubber demon's head only to encounter the priest who married my sister and her husband two months ago.
Unfortunately, the school didn't allow masks, so I reverted to my Indiana Jones costume from two years ago for the day of Halloween. This actually turned out to be a stroke of luck, when we had a fourth-period fire drill. Marching out to the football stadium in black leather and red rubber in 88 degree heat would have been a disaster. On the other hand, it's a sad commentary on society that a pitifully small number of students recognized Indy. Several actually guessed that I was Steve Irwin, the late Crocodile Hunter, which was preposterous. Only a true beast, with a heart black as midnight and a soul devoid of any scant, remaining vestige of humanity, could think it's appropriate to make fun of his death so soon. For example, Bill Mahr.
Blake,
I live in Maine, but I've always loved New Orleans. Do you think you could close this week's column with an obscure regional reference that only people from the New Orleans area have even the vaguest chance of comprehending?
Expatriate Ed
Ed,
Sure.
Thanks.
No problem.
How freaking long has Kirshman's Furniture been going out of business? Sixteen other stores have opened and closed in the time since they began airing their "Kirshman's Bye-Bye" ads. If this keeps up much longer, the remaining two locations won't have to worry about liquidating their stock because the populace is going to burn them down.
Wow. You're right, nobody's going to have the slightest idea what you're talking about.
Yes, I know.
Blake M. Petit did, finally, decide on a costume, and will provide pictures from the Halloween Party for Sunday's Halloween Party feature. You know you're salivating. Contact him with comments or suggestions at BlakePT@cox.net, visit him on the web at Evertime Realms, or visit the Evertime Livejournal,
blakemp.