The Movies of Summer Part Four
The summer zooms by, doesn't it friends? Tomorrow it'll be August, and that means a whole new slate of movies to discuss here at Think About It Central. Let's take a look at what's coming out in wide release this month, and whether or not any of the films will be worth your time.
Opening August 4:
Barnyard. Kevin James (The King of Queens), Courtney Cox-Arquette (Friends), Danny Glover (The Shaggy Dog) and Wanda Sykes (My Super Ex-Girlfriend) provide the voices for the new Nickelodeon/Paramount Pictures computer animated laughfest about a farm full of cows who enjoy pulling jokes on humans... until circumstances force one of them to step up and become a leader. The trailers look okay, but I'll be honest friends, I'm sick and tired of computer animated movies. When Disney recently announced that they're working on a new traditionally animated film, I was jumping for joy. I've got nothing against CGI, but this is a case where there's been too much too quickly.
The Descent. In this Scottish import from Lion's Gate, six friends on an annual cave-diving trip are trapped in a cave-in, sealed inside with some unimaginable horror. The trailers for this look decent, but not mind-blowing. It may be worth a rental, but I probably won't rush to the theater to see it.
The Night Listener. Robin Williams (RV) and Toni Collette (In Her Shoes) star in this "true story" thriller about a nighttime radio talk show host who bonds with one of his callers. When he seeks the young boy out, though, he discovers his fan may not be who he thought. People usually associate Williams with slapstick comedies, but if you've seen One Hour Photo, you know that when he does creepy, it gets seriously creepy. I'm interested in this one.
Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby. Will Ferrell (Curious George)'s newest comedy is about a NASCAR racer whose supremacy is threatened by a new French racer (Sacha Baron Cohen, Madagascar). The film also features Michael Clarke Duncan (The Island), John C. Reilly (A Prairie Home Companion) and Amy Adams (Junebug). Okay, I know I'm in the minority on this, but I just plain don't like Will Ferrell. The only time I've actually thought he was funny was in The Producers, and this movie is no Producers. It may make a zillion dollars at the box office, but none of those dollars will be mine.
Opening August 9:
World Trade Center. Nicolas Cage (Lord of War), Stephen Dorff (Alone in the Dark) and Maggie Gyllenhaal (Mona Lisa Smile) feature in director Oliver Stone (Alexander)'s film about two Port Authority police officers trapped in the rubble of 9/11, trying to escape. This will be the second 9/11 movie this year, and just as I wasn't sure people were ready for United 93, I'm doubly uncertain about this one. Supposedly Stone has eschewed his usual conspiracy nut angle in making this movie, but at the same time, it just feels too soon for me to be making movies about this subject matter.
Opening August 11:
Accepted. Justin Long (The Break-Up) headlines this comedy about a group of high school graduates who, unable to win their way into any college, start their own school with no classes, no grades and no limits. Long is actually a pretty funny guy that's just on his way up in Hollywood, but this movie just looks so-so to me.
Pulse. Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), Ian Somerhalder (Lost) and Christina Milan (Be Cool) star in this horror film about a friend who tries to warn his friends from beyond the grave about a horrible evil stalking them. The premise -- of the dead using electronic devices to impact the world of the living -- has potential, but it's hard to tell whether that potential is met in this or not.
Step Up. Channing Tatum (She's the Man) and Jenna Dewan (The Hot Chick) break out in this drama about a guy from the wrong side of the tracks who steps up to train with an elite ballerina in the most intense competition of their lives. Think The Cutting Edge with slippers instead of skates. Looks like a snoozer to me.
Zoom. Tim Allen (Galaxy Quest), Courtney Cox-Arquette (Scream), Chevy Chase (National Lampoon's Vacation) and Spencer Breslin (The Shaggy Dog) are the newest superheroes on the big screen, with Allen being a former hero called out of retirement to train a new generation of young heroes. There's an incredible temptation to compare this movie to last year's surprisingly good Sky High, also a Disney movie about a superhero school. I remind myself, though, that superheroes are a far more versatile genre than Hollywood gives them credit for, and this may well be a great film, and hey -- Allen was great in another genre comedy, Galaxy Quest. Then I remember that Chevy Chase hasn't made a funny movie since 1989, and I get scared all over again.
Opening August 18:
The Illusionist. At the dawn of the 20th century, a stage magician (Edward Norton, Kingdom of Heaven) uses his tricks to try to reclaim his lost love (Jessica Biel, Blade: Trinity) from the ruthless Crown Prince of Austria (Rufus Sewell, Tristan and Isolde). The film also features Paul Giamatti (Lady in the Water) and is directed by Neil Burger (Interview With the Assassin). Burger's somewhat unproven, but he's got a great cast together, and I'm willing to see this movie on that alone.
Snakes on a Plane. Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb and pronounce this THE film of August. Samuel L. Jackson (Star Wars Episode III) and a bunch of snakes are the stars of this movie about an agent charged with protecting a witness on a transpacific flight when an assassin tries to take him out by unleashing hundreds of poisonous snakes on the packed flight. Jackson reportedly took this role based just on the basis of the title, because (as he said), "Snakes on a plane. Either you want to see that, or you don't." I do. This movie may be goofy, it may be mindless, it may be completely over-the-top, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts it'll be an absolute blast.
Opening August 25:
Beerfest. A pair of brothers travel to Germany to lay their grandfather to rest, only to find a top-secret underground beer drinking competition. I heard all I needed to know about this movie when I heard the phrase "By the creators of Super Troopers." I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under every finger and toenail I have than subject myself to this movie.
How to Eat Fried Worms. Based on the classic children's book by Thomas Rockwell, Luke Benward (Because of Winn-Dixie), Adam Hicks (The Shaggy Dog), Hallie Kate Eisenberg (The Goodbye Girl) and Kimberly Williams (Father of the Bride) star in this movie about a new kid in town whose big mouth lands him in a bet to eat ten worms in a day. Along the way, he teaches everyone what it means to stand up for yourself and how to fight back against a bully. I absolutely loved this book when I was a kid, and if the movie is half as good, it should become a classic.
Idlewind. Andre Benjamin (ATL), Antwan Patton (also ATL) and Faizon Love (Animal) feature in this movie about a southern speakeasy in the 1930s whose players are fighting to keep it alive. Newcomer Bryan Barber is both the writer and director. I'm not terribly excited for this movie, but I don't see anything particularly wrong with it either. Just not my thing, I suppose.
Invincible. In the latest of Disney's true sports stories that have been doing pretty well for them lately, Mark Wahlberg (Four Brothers) plays Vince Papale, a 30-year-old bartender who sees the chance of a lifetime when coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear, Bad News Bears) announces open tryouts for the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm not that big a Mark Wahlberg fan (I think Donnie got better acting chops in that family), but I have to admit, this movie looks good -- and like I said, Disney's been on a roll with these sports films.
Material Girls. Hillary and Haylie Duff team up in this movie about a pair of heiresses forced to fend for themselves after they lose their father's fortune. The movie is produced by Madonna. I really don't think I need to say anything else.
Opening August 4:
Barnyard. Kevin James (The King of Queens), Courtney Cox-Arquette (Friends), Danny Glover (The Shaggy Dog) and Wanda Sykes (My Super Ex-Girlfriend) provide the voices for the new Nickelodeon/Paramount Pictures computer animated laughfest about a farm full of cows who enjoy pulling jokes on humans... until circumstances force one of them to step up and become a leader. The trailers look okay, but I'll be honest friends, I'm sick and tired of computer animated movies. When Disney recently announced that they're working on a new traditionally animated film, I was jumping for joy. I've got nothing against CGI, but this is a case where there's been too much too quickly.
The Descent. In this Scottish import from Lion's Gate, six friends on an annual cave-diving trip are trapped in a cave-in, sealed inside with some unimaginable horror. The trailers for this look decent, but not mind-blowing. It may be worth a rental, but I probably won't rush to the theater to see it.
The Night Listener. Robin Williams (RV) and Toni Collette (In Her Shoes) star in this "true story" thriller about a nighttime radio talk show host who bonds with one of his callers. When he seeks the young boy out, though, he discovers his fan may not be who he thought. People usually associate Williams with slapstick comedies, but if you've seen One Hour Photo, you know that when he does creepy, it gets seriously creepy. I'm interested in this one.
Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby. Will Ferrell (Curious George)'s newest comedy is about a NASCAR racer whose supremacy is threatened by a new French racer (Sacha Baron Cohen, Madagascar). The film also features Michael Clarke Duncan (The Island), John C. Reilly (A Prairie Home Companion) and Amy Adams (Junebug). Okay, I know I'm in the minority on this, but I just plain don't like Will Ferrell. The only time I've actually thought he was funny was in The Producers, and this movie is no Producers. It may make a zillion dollars at the box office, but none of those dollars will be mine.
Opening August 9:
World Trade Center. Nicolas Cage (Lord of War), Stephen Dorff (Alone in the Dark) and Maggie Gyllenhaal (Mona Lisa Smile) feature in director Oliver Stone (Alexander)'s film about two Port Authority police officers trapped in the rubble of 9/11, trying to escape. This will be the second 9/11 movie this year, and just as I wasn't sure people were ready for United 93, I'm doubly uncertain about this one. Supposedly Stone has eschewed his usual conspiracy nut angle in making this movie, but at the same time, it just feels too soon for me to be making movies about this subject matter.
Opening August 11:
Accepted. Justin Long (The Break-Up) headlines this comedy about a group of high school graduates who, unable to win their way into any college, start their own school with no classes, no grades and no limits. Long is actually a pretty funny guy that's just on his way up in Hollywood, but this movie just looks so-so to me.
Pulse. Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), Ian Somerhalder (Lost) and Christina Milan (Be Cool) star in this horror film about a friend who tries to warn his friends from beyond the grave about a horrible evil stalking them. The premise -- of the dead using electronic devices to impact the world of the living -- has potential, but it's hard to tell whether that potential is met in this or not.
Step Up. Channing Tatum (She's the Man) and Jenna Dewan (The Hot Chick) break out in this drama about a guy from the wrong side of the tracks who steps up to train with an elite ballerina in the most intense competition of their lives. Think The Cutting Edge with slippers instead of skates. Looks like a snoozer to me.
Zoom. Tim Allen (Galaxy Quest), Courtney Cox-Arquette (Scream), Chevy Chase (National Lampoon's Vacation) and Spencer Breslin (The Shaggy Dog) are the newest superheroes on the big screen, with Allen being a former hero called out of retirement to train a new generation of young heroes. There's an incredible temptation to compare this movie to last year's surprisingly good Sky High, also a Disney movie about a superhero school. I remind myself, though, that superheroes are a far more versatile genre than Hollywood gives them credit for, and this may well be a great film, and hey -- Allen was great in another genre comedy, Galaxy Quest. Then I remember that Chevy Chase hasn't made a funny movie since 1989, and I get scared all over again.
Opening August 18:
The Illusionist. At the dawn of the 20th century, a stage magician (Edward Norton, Kingdom of Heaven) uses his tricks to try to reclaim his lost love (Jessica Biel, Blade: Trinity) from the ruthless Crown Prince of Austria (Rufus Sewell, Tristan and Isolde). The film also features Paul Giamatti (Lady in the Water) and is directed by Neil Burger (Interview With the Assassin). Burger's somewhat unproven, but he's got a great cast together, and I'm willing to see this movie on that alone.
Snakes on a Plane. Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb and pronounce this THE film of August. Samuel L. Jackson (Star Wars Episode III) and a bunch of snakes are the stars of this movie about an agent charged with protecting a witness on a transpacific flight when an assassin tries to take him out by unleashing hundreds of poisonous snakes on the packed flight. Jackson reportedly took this role based just on the basis of the title, because (as he said), "Snakes on a plane. Either you want to see that, or you don't." I do. This movie may be goofy, it may be mindless, it may be completely over-the-top, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts it'll be an absolute blast.
Opening August 25:
Beerfest. A pair of brothers travel to Germany to lay their grandfather to rest, only to find a top-secret underground beer drinking competition. I heard all I needed to know about this movie when I heard the phrase "By the creators of Super Troopers." I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under every finger and toenail I have than subject myself to this movie.
How to Eat Fried Worms. Based on the classic children's book by Thomas Rockwell, Luke Benward (Because of Winn-Dixie), Adam Hicks (The Shaggy Dog), Hallie Kate Eisenberg (The Goodbye Girl) and Kimberly Williams (Father of the Bride) star in this movie about a new kid in town whose big mouth lands him in a bet to eat ten worms in a day. Along the way, he teaches everyone what it means to stand up for yourself and how to fight back against a bully. I absolutely loved this book when I was a kid, and if the movie is half as good, it should become a classic.
Idlewind. Andre Benjamin (ATL), Antwan Patton (also ATL) and Faizon Love (Animal) feature in this movie about a southern speakeasy in the 1930s whose players are fighting to keep it alive. Newcomer Bryan Barber is both the writer and director. I'm not terribly excited for this movie, but I don't see anything particularly wrong with it either. Just not my thing, I suppose.
Invincible. In the latest of Disney's true sports stories that have been doing pretty well for them lately, Mark Wahlberg (Four Brothers) plays Vince Papale, a 30-year-old bartender who sees the chance of a lifetime when coach Dick Vermeil (Greg Kinnear, Bad News Bears) announces open tryouts for the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm not that big a Mark Wahlberg fan (I think Donnie got better acting chops in that family), but I have to admit, this movie looks good -- and like I said, Disney's been on a roll with these sports films.
Material Girls. Hillary and Haylie Duff team up in this movie about a pair of heiresses forced to fend for themselves after they lose their father's fortune. The movie is produced by Madonna. I really don't think I need to say anything else.