The Movies of Summer Part Three
It’s July, friends - heavy into the summer movie season, with a few big blockbusters behind us and a few more on the way. What should get your moviegoer dollars this summer? Let’s take a look…
Opening July 7:
Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest. The sequel to 2003’s smash hit sails into theaters this month. Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom reprise their roles as Captain Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner, respectively, and are joined by the stellar Bill Nighy (“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”) as the cursed Davy Jones. Jack owes Davy Jones a blood debt, and he must find a way to pay it before he’s sentenced to an eternity of servitude. The first “Pirates” film was not only a box office success, but a critical one as well - it was just a great, fun, swashbuckling adventure. With director Gore Verbinski returning with most of the original cast, I’ve got high hopes that the sequel will be just as good.
A Scanner Darkly. This big-screen adaptation of the classic sci-fi novel by Philip K. Dick (“Blade Runner”) features Keanu Reeves (“The Matrix”), Winona Ryder (“Mr. Deeds”), Woody Harrelson (“A Prairie Home Companion”), Robert Downey Jr. (“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”) and others in this rotoscope film - it’s an animated movie done by drawing the animation cells over live-action footage of the actors. Reeves plays a police officer that’s hooked on a futuristic drug that causes him to develop alternate personalities. The cop is planning a sting operation to capture a notorious drug dealer… unaware that the dealer is one of his own split personalities. Dick had one of the most amazing imaginations in all of science fiction, and the animation technique used for this film seems like a perfect match. I want to see this one.
Opening July 14:
Little Man. Shawn and Marlon Wayans, the people responsible for the film “White Chicks” (but whom, for some unfathomable reason, are still allowed to walk the streets) star in this movie about an anxious would-be father who mistakes a very short criminal for his own adopted son. My computer almost crashed from the sheer stupidity in that sentence. As bad as “White Chicks” was, this movie looks even worse. I’ll be hiding under the bed when this one comes out.
You, Me and Dupree. Matt Dillon (“Crash”) and Kate Hudson (“Skeleton Key”) play a newlywed couple whose marriage is put to the test when Dillon’s loser friend (Owen Wilson, “Wedding Crashers”) moves in with them. The movie looks like your typical, safe romantic comedy - doesn’t look spectacular, but at least it’ll be less likely to cause nightmares than “Little Man” if you hit the theater this weekend.
Opening July 21:
Clerks II. Writer/director Kevin Smith returns to the characters that made him famous with the sequel to 1994’s cult smash “Clerks.” Ten years later Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randall (Jeff Anderson) struggle with their loser jobs and begin to wonder if it’s time to grow up. Smith and Jason Mewes also reprise their roles from the original film and Rosario Dawson (“Sin City”) join the cast. I’ll be honest with you - the original “Clerks” is a classic, one of my personal favorite movies and one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. The chances of the sequel living up to it, frankly, are pretty slim. But it may still be fun in its own right, and I’ll still be there opening weekend.
Lady in the Water. It’s the weekend of the writer/director, isn’t it? M. Night Shyamalan (he of “The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable,” “Signs” and “The Village”) brings his latest creeper to theaters with Paul Giamatti (“Sideways”) as a building manager who finds a mysterious young woman (Bryce Dallas Howard, “The Village”). The girl is trying to find her way home to another world, but the longer she dwells in ours, the more Giamatti and his tenants get pulled into her own story. Shyamalan is, simply put, a phenomenal filmmaker. His direction, his composition, his stories never fail to thrill me, and I’ll be there for any movie with his name in the front of it.
Monster House. It’s about time we had something for the kids this month… this newest computer animated flick is about a bunch of children who discover a house in their neighborhood is actually alive, and it’s up to them to save the town from the monster. The movie features the voices of Steve Buscemi (“The Island”), Maggie Gyllenhaal (“Secretary”), Kevin James (“Hitch”) and Jason Lee (“My Name is Earl”). I’m torn on this one. The trailers look pretty good, and that’s one solid voice cast, but I’m so burned out on computer animation… there have already been at least four other major CGI releases this year and even the best ones are all starting to look the same. I miss movies animated with a paintbrush instead of a Macintosh.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Now this one looks like fun - Luke Wilson (“The Family Stone”) breaks up with his girlfriend, Uma Thurman (“Kill Bill”). What he doesn’t know, though, is that his ex is actually the superhero G-Girl… and this woman scorned is going to use her powers to make his life miserable. The film is directed by Ivan Reitman (“Ghostbusters”), and also features Anna Faris (the “Scary Movie” franchise) and comedian Eddie Izzard. Reitman has a great touch at mixing in the paranormal with the comedic, and let’s face it guys, you already brought your girls to see the X-Men and Superman this summer… it’s their turn for a superhero flick.
Opening July 28:
The Ant Bully. Yet another computer animated flick - this one is about a neighborhood bully who takes out his frustrations on an ant hill, until the ants find a way to shrink him down and show him what life is like from their angle. The movie features the voices of Lily Tomlin (“A Prairie Home Companion”), Larry Miller (“The Nutty Professor”), Julia Roberts (“Ocean’s Twelve”) and Cheri Oteri (“Saturday Night Live”). Frankly, even if I weren’t burned out on CGI, this movie doesn’t look as good as the rest of the entrants in that race. I’ll probably skip this one.
John Tucker Must Die. Jesse Metcalfe (“Desperate Housewives”), Sofia Bush (“Stay Alive”), Brittany Snow (“The Pacifier”) and singer Ashanti star in this comedy about three high school girls who discover they’ve all been dating the same guy - and band together to teach him a lesson. It looks like we’ve got this summer’s girl power flick all lined up.
Miami Vice. Colin Farrell (“Alexander”) and Jamie Foxx (“Ray”) star in this big-screen version of the 80s cop show. Crockett and Tubbs go undercover to bust up a drug cartel in Florida. The film is directed by Michael Mann, who worked with Foxx in “Collateral.” Despite that very strong movie, I can’t get up any enthusiasm for this one - nine out of ten TV show remakes in the movies stink on ice, and was anybody really clamoring for this one? It’s a pass for me.