The Movies of April
The movies of April
Welcome to another month of movies, friends. April, traditionally, is not a month where they put out a lot of blockbusters, but studios in the last few years have begun to sneak in decent films that they don’t want to put up against the glut of summer blockbusters. April is theoretically better than it used to be. But looking at the list of releases for the month, that’s still only a theory. Here are the wide release movies for April that have been announced as of this writing… if we’re lucky, there will be a few worth seeing.
Opening April 7:
The Benchwarmers. David Spade (“The Adventures of Joe Dirt”), Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) and Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) appear - because the term “star” would be far too generous - in this comedy about three dorks who are recruited by a millionaire to put together a baseball team to compete against little League teams. I don’t know what’s more ridiculous, the idea that anyone would allow a team of adults to compete against children or the idea that these three could possibly win a baseball game. The film is made by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison productions, which just goes to show you that Sandler must be one of the nicest people on the planet to keep his buddies working like this.
A Good Year. Russell Crowe (“A Beautiful Mind”), Albert Finney (“Big Fish”) and Aaron Eckhart (“Core”) star in the newest drama from director Ridley Scott (“Gladiator”). This film is about a failing banker who moves when he inherits a vineyard, only to find a beautiful Californian woman (Marion Cotillard, “A Very Long Engagement”) who also has her claim on the estate. This looks to be a sort of artsy drama film - likely to get some critical acclaim, but not much box office buzz.
Lucky Number Slevin. They did it to me again. I wrote about this film last month but they release date shuffle has moved it back to April - it’s still the same flick, though. Josh Hartnett (“Sin City”) plays a ordinary guy who gets caught in a gang war between crime bosses Morgan Freeman (“Bruce Almighty”) and Ben Kingsley (“A House of Sand and Fog”). Meanwhile, he’s being chased by a detective (Stanley Tucci of “Big Trouble”) and an assassin (Bruce Willis, “16 Blocks”). Honestly, Hartnett is the only thing about this film I’m not interested in. That’s a heck of a cast.
Phat Girlz. Stand-up comic Monique Imes stars in this comedy about a wisecracking fashion designer looking for love in the world of “full bodied” women. Sounds like “Shallow Hal” from the girl’s point of view. Doesn’t sound like a winner to me, either.
Take the Lead. Antonio Banderas (“The Legend of Zorro”) stars in this film about a professional ballroom dancer who volunteers to teach dance at a public school, only to clash with the hip hop lifestyle of his students. Also starring Rob Brown (“Coach Carter”), Elijah Kelley (“28 Days”) and Dante Basco (“Biker Boyz”). Think “Center Stage” meets “Dangerous Minds.” Then think about going on to the next theater.
Opening April 14:
Scary Movie 4. You know people, as long as you keep watching these movies, they’ll keep making them. Anna Faris returns yet again in this spoof film, and while it does still poke fun at scary movies (“Saw,” “The Grudge” and “The Village” are among the films getting the treatment this time out), the franchise has become more of an all-around movie spoof franchise, throwing in the likes of “War of the Worlds,” “Million Dollar Baby” and “King Kong.” I’ve got no idea what the plot of this one is, but let’s face it, nobody who sees this movie will be going for the plot.
The Wild. In Disney’s next venture into computer animation, a group of zoo animals are forced to venture out into the real world when one of their own is mistakenly released into the wild. Voices include Kiefer Sutherland (“24”), Jim Belushi (“According to Jim”), Janeane Garofalo (“The Truth About Cats and Dogs”) and William Shatner (if you don’t know who Shatner is, I can’t help you). I don’t know which is the better reason to avoid this film - because I saw it when it was called “Madagsacar” or because it looks like another generic CGI clunker. There is hope, though - reportedly when the Pixar guys took over Disney’s feature animation division, they immediately started talking about bringing back traditional animation. We can only hope.
Opening April 21:
American Dreamz. Paul and Chris Weitz, the duo that should get the blame for the “American Pie” franchise, bring us this film about a super-popular television talent search program that becomes the target of a terrorist bombing because the president is a guest judge. Among the cast are Hugh Grant (“About a Boy”) as the Simon Cowell-esque host, Mandy Moore (“A Walk to Remember”) and Willem DaFoe (“Spider-Man”). Here’s my question - people are already sick and tired of reality TV in their own homes, why would they pay to see it in the movies?
Hoot. Luke Wilson (“The Family Stone”) and Tim Blake Nelson (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) and a bunch of kid stars take the fore in this film about a boy who tries to solve mysteries while saving endangered owls. It’s a terrible synopsis, I know, but that’s what they gave me to work with here. The big thing this movie has going for it is that it’s based on the book by the extremely funny Carl Hiaassen.
The Sentinel. Michael Douglas (“It Runs in the Family”) and Kiefer Sutherland (again, from “24”) star in this thriller about a top secret service agent who is framed in a presidential assassination attempt. On the run, he has to prove his innocence while pursued by his own star protégé. The film is directed by Clark Johnson (“SWAT”). Buying Douglas as a secret service agent is kind of hard, but Sutherland alone would be enough to get me into this theater - “24” is perhaps the best show on television.
Silent Hill. Sean Bean (“The Island”) and Radha Mitchell (“Melinda and Melinda”) star in this latest horror romp from director Christophe Gans (“Brotherhood of the Wolf”). In this film, a mother searching for her daughter gets transported to a terrifying alternate dimension where the world is falling apart. Hard to tell if this will be any good - “Brotherhood” was a pretty satisfying action flick, but not really scary. But I’m at least curious, which is a good start.
Opening April 28:
Flight 93. The first big-screen movie based on 9/11 hits, not quiet five years after the event itself. Paul Greengrass (“The Bourne Supremacy”) writes and directs this movie, described as a “realtime” dramatization of the events of the fateful flight that went down in Pennsylvania on the day that three other plans crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Hopefully Greengrass will treat this subject with the respect and honor it deserves, but even so, I just don’t know if an American audience is ready for a film about that fateful day.
R.V. On the other side of the spectrum, Robin Williams (“Final Cut”) comes back to family comedy in the newest film by director Barry Sonnenfeld (“Big Trouble”), about an average American family who takes off on that greatest of adventures - a vacation in an R.V. The film also stars Kristin Chenoweth (“The Pink Panther”) and Jeff Daniels (“Because of Winn-Dixie”). Hopefully this won’t be just a retread of “National Lampoon’s Vacation” - Williams is better than that and Chenoweth is a real talent waiting to make it big.
Welcome to another month of movies, friends. April, traditionally, is not a month where they put out a lot of blockbusters, but studios in the last few years have begun to sneak in decent films that they don’t want to put up against the glut of summer blockbusters. April is theoretically better than it used to be. But looking at the list of releases for the month, that’s still only a theory. Here are the wide release movies for April that have been announced as of this writing… if we’re lucky, there will be a few worth seeing.
Opening April 7:
The Benchwarmers. David Spade (“The Adventures of Joe Dirt”), Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) and Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) appear - because the term “star” would be far too generous - in this comedy about three dorks who are recruited by a millionaire to put together a baseball team to compete against little League teams. I don’t know what’s more ridiculous, the idea that anyone would allow a team of adults to compete against children or the idea that these three could possibly win a baseball game. The film is made by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison productions, which just goes to show you that Sandler must be one of the nicest people on the planet to keep his buddies working like this.
A Good Year. Russell Crowe (“A Beautiful Mind”), Albert Finney (“Big Fish”) and Aaron Eckhart (“Core”) star in the newest drama from director Ridley Scott (“Gladiator”). This film is about a failing banker who moves when he inherits a vineyard, only to find a beautiful Californian woman (Marion Cotillard, “A Very Long Engagement”) who also has her claim on the estate. This looks to be a sort of artsy drama film - likely to get some critical acclaim, but not much box office buzz.
Lucky Number Slevin. They did it to me again. I wrote about this film last month but they release date shuffle has moved it back to April - it’s still the same flick, though. Josh Hartnett (“Sin City”) plays a ordinary guy who gets caught in a gang war between crime bosses Morgan Freeman (“Bruce Almighty”) and Ben Kingsley (“A House of Sand and Fog”). Meanwhile, he’s being chased by a detective (Stanley Tucci of “Big Trouble”) and an assassin (Bruce Willis, “16 Blocks”). Honestly, Hartnett is the only thing about this film I’m not interested in. That’s a heck of a cast.
Phat Girlz. Stand-up comic Monique Imes stars in this comedy about a wisecracking fashion designer looking for love in the world of “full bodied” women. Sounds like “Shallow Hal” from the girl’s point of view. Doesn’t sound like a winner to me, either.
Take the Lead. Antonio Banderas (“The Legend of Zorro”) stars in this film about a professional ballroom dancer who volunteers to teach dance at a public school, only to clash with the hip hop lifestyle of his students. Also starring Rob Brown (“Coach Carter”), Elijah Kelley (“28 Days”) and Dante Basco (“Biker Boyz”). Think “Center Stage” meets “Dangerous Minds.” Then think about going on to the next theater.
Opening April 14:
Scary Movie 4. You know people, as long as you keep watching these movies, they’ll keep making them. Anna Faris returns yet again in this spoof film, and while it does still poke fun at scary movies (“Saw,” “The Grudge” and “The Village” are among the films getting the treatment this time out), the franchise has become more of an all-around movie spoof franchise, throwing in the likes of “War of the Worlds,” “Million Dollar Baby” and “King Kong.” I’ve got no idea what the plot of this one is, but let’s face it, nobody who sees this movie will be going for the plot.
The Wild. In Disney’s next venture into computer animation, a group of zoo animals are forced to venture out into the real world when one of their own is mistakenly released into the wild. Voices include Kiefer Sutherland (“24”), Jim Belushi (“According to Jim”), Janeane Garofalo (“The Truth About Cats and Dogs”) and William Shatner (if you don’t know who Shatner is, I can’t help you). I don’t know which is the better reason to avoid this film - because I saw it when it was called “Madagsacar” or because it looks like another generic CGI clunker. There is hope, though - reportedly when the Pixar guys took over Disney’s feature animation division, they immediately started talking about bringing back traditional animation. We can only hope.
Opening April 21:
American Dreamz. Paul and Chris Weitz, the duo that should get the blame for the “American Pie” franchise, bring us this film about a super-popular television talent search program that becomes the target of a terrorist bombing because the president is a guest judge. Among the cast are Hugh Grant (“About a Boy”) as the Simon Cowell-esque host, Mandy Moore (“A Walk to Remember”) and Willem DaFoe (“Spider-Man”). Here’s my question - people are already sick and tired of reality TV in their own homes, why would they pay to see it in the movies?
Hoot. Luke Wilson (“The Family Stone”) and Tim Blake Nelson (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) and a bunch of kid stars take the fore in this film about a boy who tries to solve mysteries while saving endangered owls. It’s a terrible synopsis, I know, but that’s what they gave me to work with here. The big thing this movie has going for it is that it’s based on the book by the extremely funny Carl Hiaassen.
The Sentinel. Michael Douglas (“It Runs in the Family”) and Kiefer Sutherland (again, from “24”) star in this thriller about a top secret service agent who is framed in a presidential assassination attempt. On the run, he has to prove his innocence while pursued by his own star protégé. The film is directed by Clark Johnson (“SWAT”). Buying Douglas as a secret service agent is kind of hard, but Sutherland alone would be enough to get me into this theater - “24” is perhaps the best show on television.
Silent Hill. Sean Bean (“The Island”) and Radha Mitchell (“Melinda and Melinda”) star in this latest horror romp from director Christophe Gans (“Brotherhood of the Wolf”). In this film, a mother searching for her daughter gets transported to a terrifying alternate dimension where the world is falling apart. Hard to tell if this will be any good - “Brotherhood” was a pretty satisfying action flick, but not really scary. But I’m at least curious, which is a good start.
Opening April 28:
Flight 93. The first big-screen movie based on 9/11 hits, not quiet five years after the event itself. Paul Greengrass (“The Bourne Supremacy”) writes and directs this movie, described as a “realtime” dramatization of the events of the fateful flight that went down in Pennsylvania on the day that three other plans crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Hopefully Greengrass will treat this subject with the respect and honor it deserves, but even so, I just don’t know if an American audience is ready for a film about that fateful day.
R.V. On the other side of the spectrum, Robin Williams (“Final Cut”) comes back to family comedy in the newest film by director Barry Sonnenfeld (“Big Trouble”), about an average American family who takes off on that greatest of adventures - a vacation in an R.V. The film also stars Kristin Chenoweth (“The Pink Panther”) and Jeff Daniels (“Because of Winn-Dixie”). Hopefully this won’t be just a retread of “National Lampoon’s Vacation” - Williams is better than that and Chenoweth is a real talent waiting to make it big.