BLAKE'S NOVEMBER MOVIE PRE-CAP!
October 31, 2005
THE MOVIES OF NOVEMBER: Holiday Films Part One
Hey, guys! Welcome to the new home of Blake’s Monthly Movie Pre-Cap! Longtime readers will remember my monthly column where I talk about the upcoming film releases for that month, complete with my snarky comments about why I think they’re brilliant or why I think they’ll suck. Well, like Think About It and my other writing tidbits, the new Think About It Central Journal is going to be home to that column from now on.
November, of course, is the beginning of the big Hollywood Holiday Push. The film industry counts on Memorial Day through Labor Day and Halloween through New Year’s to make most of their cash for the year, and after the crummy box office 2005 has been generating so far, they’re desperate for a few hits. Let’s see if they’ve got anything coming out in November that might actually be worth your hard-earned dollars.
OPENING NOVEMBER 4
Chicken Little. Zach Braff (of TV’s Scrubs) stars in this computer-generated film version of the old fable. This film seems determined to add a bit of The Boy Who Cried Wolf to the tale, as the disheartened chicken, feeling like a fool, suddenly finds that the sky actually is beginning to fall. I have to admit, I have very mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, Zach Braff is a hysterical performer (his writing/directing/feature film debut, Garden State, was a phenomenal film), and I have no doubt that he’s got the perfect voice for a production such as this. On the other hand, I’ve been underwhelmed by the trailers. On the third hand, despite some crummy trailers, this film is garnering some major positive critical buzz. And on the fourth hand (I’m circus people), part of me kind of wants to see this film fail, because it if turns out to be a smash hit the idiots running Walt Disney’s company these days will take that as vindication of their moronic idea that traditional animation can no longer succeed and only CGI films will play to audiences anymore. Man, I don’t know what I want to happen for this movie.
Shopgirl. Starring and based on the novella by Steve Martin (Cheaper By the Dozen), this is the story of a young department store employee (Claire Danes, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines) who unwittingly finds herself torn between two men - a rich, charming older customer of hers (Martin) and a young man who doesn’t quite know what to do with his life (Jason Schwartzman, I Heart Huckabees). In addition to being a comedy legend, Martin is actually a very good writer as well, and I very much enjoyed reading this book. I’m anxious to see if the comedy, depth and emotion he got on the page translates as well to the big screen.
Jarhead. Jake Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko), Chris Cooper (Adaptation), Jamie Foxx (Ray) and Peter Sarsgaard (Skeleton Key) star in this film adapting a book by a Marine sent to Iraq in the first Gulf War. Which, frankly, is all I need to hear to stay away from this movie. Exhaustion with the 24-hour news cycle is the major factor (I go to the movies to get away from this stuff), but more than that, I don’t feel like I can trust Hollywood to give a true, genuine story about America’s military anymore without lacing the entire thing with political grandstanding.
OPENING NOVEMBER 9
Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Taking a page from Eminem, rapper 50 Cent stars in this “autobiographical” film about an orphan who rejects a life of street crime in favor of becoming a millionaire recording artist. For you new fans, let me give you a quick survey of things I don’t like: rap music and self-indulgent crap. I’m skipping this one.
OPENING NOVEMBER 11
Derailed. Clive Owen (Sin City) is a married ad executive who gets involved in a love affair with Jennifer Aniston (Along Came Polly). The affair goes sour, however, when their indiscretion is discovered by a dangerous man who blackmails them. This is being touted as an “adult” thriller (for all of you who brought your three-year-olds to see Saw II last month), so I’m hoping that means it has intelligent writing, strong acting and powerful storytelling. I’m not expecting any of those things, mind you, but I hope nonetheless.
Pride and Prejudice. Keira Knightley (Domino), Matthew MacFayden (In My Father’s Den), Jena Malone (Saved) and Donald Sutherland (Cold Mountain) star in yet another film adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why this book is considered such a classic. I’ve tried reading it and it puts me to sleep every time. (And this is coming from somebody who loves reading The Great Gatsby.) I can’t imagine spending money to watch this unless I’m desperate for an insomnia cure.
Zathura. This sort-of-follow-up to Jumanji features Josh Hutcherson and Jonah Bobo as a pair of brothers who stumble upon a board game that takes them on a high-flying outer space adventure. Jon Favreau, the director behind Elf, helms the picture. To be honest, I’ve looked at this from every angle and I can’t figure out any angle that makes this appreciably different from the earlier movie (except for the obvious change from a jungle setting to outer space), but somehow, this looks like a much better film. I just wish it didn’t look so derivative.
OPENING NOVEMBER 18
Walk the Line. Joaquin Phoenix (The Village) and Reece Witherspoon (Just Live Heaven) star in this biopic about the recently departed musical legend Johnny Cash. James Mangold (Identity) directs. It seems like a pretty quick film on the heels of Cash’s death in 2003, but this film was in the works even before then. Phoenix is a strong actor, but Witherspoon seems an odd choice to play June Carter Cash. Biopics like this usually play to very specific audiences - the fans of the person the movie is about, fans of the actors and the like. Still, Johnny Cash fans alone are high enough in number to potentially make this a huge hit.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. If you’re looking for something to take the kids to this weekend… well… this may not be it. This fourth film in the series about a boy wizard (Daniel Radcliffe) follows Harry as he is inadvertently entered in a wizarding tournament which, although certain to grant the winner legendary status among his peers, is also incredibly dangerous. As a fan of the books I can tell you that this midpoint in the seven-book series is where everything changes. Things get dark. Bad guys amass power and heroes are in true, legitimate danger. This is the first film in the series to garner a PG-13 rating, and if it’s true to the book, it’s earned it. I’m worried about whether director Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral) will be able to fit all the vital bits of the 600-plus page novel into two hours of film, but if he can pull it off, this may be the best movie in the series yet.
OPENING NOVEMBER 23
The Ice Harvest. John Cusack (Must Love Dogs), Billy Bob Thornton (Bad News Bears) and Connie Nielsen (The Great Raid) star in this Christmas Crime Comedy about a group of people who plan a heist against a dimwitted mob boss (Randy Quaid, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation). The film is directed by Harold Ramis, the man who brought us Groundhog Day and Caddyshack, and that’s enough for me to forgive Bedazzled and queue up for this one.
Just Friends. Ryan Reynolds (Waiting), Amy Smart (Rat Race) and Anna Faris (Lost in Translation) star in this comedy about a former high school loser who comes home for Christmas 10 years later a big success - and determined to win the heart of the girl who always wanted to be “just friends” with him in high school. I’m not really a fan of most of Reynolds’ movies, but this looks like something different for him. It’ll either be surprisingly touching or painfully sappy - unfortunately, from the trailers it’s really impossible to tell which.
Rent. The era of the big-screen musical has returned, hasn’t it? Ever since Moulin Rouge hit it big, it’s like it’s okay to sing in a movie theater again. Taye Diggs (Chicago), Rosario Dawson (Sin City), Jesse L. Martin (A Christmas Carol: The Musical) and Adam Pascal (School of Rock) star in this big-screen adaptation of the Broadway hit about a group of New York artists struggling to survive in (what the synopsis calls) an “HIV-positive world.” I’m a fan of musicals in general, but this sort of “socially relevant” stuff often comes across as preachy. Mark this down as an “undecided” in my book.
Yours, Mine and Ours. Dennis Quaid (In Good Company) and Rene Russo (Two For the Money) star in this comedy about two single parents with 18 kids between them who run off and elope. It doesn’t sit well with the kids, though, and they hatch plans to break them up. It’s the Anti-Parent Trap! Russo took a few years off from movies after 2002’s Big Trouble. This makes me think she wasn’t quite as discriminating as she should have been with her comeback.
THE MOVIES OF NOVEMBER: Holiday Films Part One
Hey, guys! Welcome to the new home of Blake’s Monthly Movie Pre-Cap! Longtime readers will remember my monthly column where I talk about the upcoming film releases for that month, complete with my snarky comments about why I think they’re brilliant or why I think they’ll suck. Well, like Think About It and my other writing tidbits, the new Think About It Central Journal is going to be home to that column from now on.
November, of course, is the beginning of the big Hollywood Holiday Push. The film industry counts on Memorial Day through Labor Day and Halloween through New Year’s to make most of their cash for the year, and after the crummy box office 2005 has been generating so far, they’re desperate for a few hits. Let’s see if they’ve got anything coming out in November that might actually be worth your hard-earned dollars.
OPENING NOVEMBER 4
Chicken Little. Zach Braff (of TV’s Scrubs) stars in this computer-generated film version of the old fable. This film seems determined to add a bit of The Boy Who Cried Wolf to the tale, as the disheartened chicken, feeling like a fool, suddenly finds that the sky actually is beginning to fall. I have to admit, I have very mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, Zach Braff is a hysterical performer (his writing/directing/feature film debut, Garden State, was a phenomenal film), and I have no doubt that he’s got the perfect voice for a production such as this. On the other hand, I’ve been underwhelmed by the trailers. On the third hand, despite some crummy trailers, this film is garnering some major positive critical buzz. And on the fourth hand (I’m circus people), part of me kind of wants to see this film fail, because it if turns out to be a smash hit the idiots running Walt Disney’s company these days will take that as vindication of their moronic idea that traditional animation can no longer succeed and only CGI films will play to audiences anymore. Man, I don’t know what I want to happen for this movie.
Shopgirl. Starring and based on the novella by Steve Martin (Cheaper By the Dozen), this is the story of a young department store employee (Claire Danes, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines) who unwittingly finds herself torn between two men - a rich, charming older customer of hers (Martin) and a young man who doesn’t quite know what to do with his life (Jason Schwartzman, I Heart Huckabees). In addition to being a comedy legend, Martin is actually a very good writer as well, and I very much enjoyed reading this book. I’m anxious to see if the comedy, depth and emotion he got on the page translates as well to the big screen.
Jarhead. Jake Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko), Chris Cooper (Adaptation), Jamie Foxx (Ray) and Peter Sarsgaard (Skeleton Key) star in this film adapting a book by a Marine sent to Iraq in the first Gulf War. Which, frankly, is all I need to hear to stay away from this movie. Exhaustion with the 24-hour news cycle is the major factor (I go to the movies to get away from this stuff), but more than that, I don’t feel like I can trust Hollywood to give a true, genuine story about America’s military anymore without lacing the entire thing with political grandstanding.
OPENING NOVEMBER 9
Get Rich or Die Tryin’. Taking a page from Eminem, rapper 50 Cent stars in this “autobiographical” film about an orphan who rejects a life of street crime in favor of becoming a millionaire recording artist. For you new fans, let me give you a quick survey of things I don’t like: rap music and self-indulgent crap. I’m skipping this one.
OPENING NOVEMBER 11
Derailed. Clive Owen (Sin City) is a married ad executive who gets involved in a love affair with Jennifer Aniston (Along Came Polly). The affair goes sour, however, when their indiscretion is discovered by a dangerous man who blackmails them. This is being touted as an “adult” thriller (for all of you who brought your three-year-olds to see Saw II last month), so I’m hoping that means it has intelligent writing, strong acting and powerful storytelling. I’m not expecting any of those things, mind you, but I hope nonetheless.
Pride and Prejudice. Keira Knightley (Domino), Matthew MacFayden (In My Father’s Den), Jena Malone (Saved) and Donald Sutherland (Cold Mountain) star in yet another film adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why this book is considered such a classic. I’ve tried reading it and it puts me to sleep every time. (And this is coming from somebody who loves reading The Great Gatsby.) I can’t imagine spending money to watch this unless I’m desperate for an insomnia cure.
Zathura. This sort-of-follow-up to Jumanji features Josh Hutcherson and Jonah Bobo as a pair of brothers who stumble upon a board game that takes them on a high-flying outer space adventure. Jon Favreau, the director behind Elf, helms the picture. To be honest, I’ve looked at this from every angle and I can’t figure out any angle that makes this appreciably different from the earlier movie (except for the obvious change from a jungle setting to outer space), but somehow, this looks like a much better film. I just wish it didn’t look so derivative.
OPENING NOVEMBER 18
Walk the Line. Joaquin Phoenix (The Village) and Reece Witherspoon (Just Live Heaven) star in this biopic about the recently departed musical legend Johnny Cash. James Mangold (Identity) directs. It seems like a pretty quick film on the heels of Cash’s death in 2003, but this film was in the works even before then. Phoenix is a strong actor, but Witherspoon seems an odd choice to play June Carter Cash. Biopics like this usually play to very specific audiences - the fans of the person the movie is about, fans of the actors and the like. Still, Johnny Cash fans alone are high enough in number to potentially make this a huge hit.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. If you’re looking for something to take the kids to this weekend… well… this may not be it. This fourth film in the series about a boy wizard (Daniel Radcliffe) follows Harry as he is inadvertently entered in a wizarding tournament which, although certain to grant the winner legendary status among his peers, is also incredibly dangerous. As a fan of the books I can tell you that this midpoint in the seven-book series is where everything changes. Things get dark. Bad guys amass power and heroes are in true, legitimate danger. This is the first film in the series to garner a PG-13 rating, and if it’s true to the book, it’s earned it. I’m worried about whether director Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral) will be able to fit all the vital bits of the 600-plus page novel into two hours of film, but if he can pull it off, this may be the best movie in the series yet.
OPENING NOVEMBER 23
The Ice Harvest. John Cusack (Must Love Dogs), Billy Bob Thornton (Bad News Bears) and Connie Nielsen (The Great Raid) star in this Christmas Crime Comedy about a group of people who plan a heist against a dimwitted mob boss (Randy Quaid, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation). The film is directed by Harold Ramis, the man who brought us Groundhog Day and Caddyshack, and that’s enough for me to forgive Bedazzled and queue up for this one.
Just Friends. Ryan Reynolds (Waiting), Amy Smart (Rat Race) and Anna Faris (Lost in Translation) star in this comedy about a former high school loser who comes home for Christmas 10 years later a big success - and determined to win the heart of the girl who always wanted to be “just friends” with him in high school. I’m not really a fan of most of Reynolds’ movies, but this looks like something different for him. It’ll either be surprisingly touching or painfully sappy - unfortunately, from the trailers it’s really impossible to tell which.
Rent. The era of the big-screen musical has returned, hasn’t it? Ever since Moulin Rouge hit it big, it’s like it’s okay to sing in a movie theater again. Taye Diggs (Chicago), Rosario Dawson (Sin City), Jesse L. Martin (A Christmas Carol: The Musical) and Adam Pascal (School of Rock) star in this big-screen adaptation of the Broadway hit about a group of New York artists struggling to survive in (what the synopsis calls) an “HIV-positive world.” I’m a fan of musicals in general, but this sort of “socially relevant” stuff often comes across as preachy. Mark this down as an “undecided” in my book.
Yours, Mine and Ours. Dennis Quaid (In Good Company) and Rene Russo (Two For the Money) star in this comedy about two single parents with 18 kids between them who run off and elope. It doesn’t sit well with the kids, though, and they hatch plans to break them up. It’s the Anti-Parent Trap! Russo took a few years off from movies after 2002’s Big Trouble. This makes me think she wasn’t quite as discriminating as she should have been with her comeback.